Page 3 | Stocking from Father Christmas....

Takamine · 2017-09-23T21:04:48+00:00

... the rest from us. I see this mentioned a lot in here. Why do people do this? I've never under stood. Isn't it a bit self serving at the detriment of the magic?

Original poster

Takamine · 24/09/2017 14:00

Craftsy - that is beautiful !

OP posts:

megletthesecond · 24/09/2017 14:06

Father Christmas fills stockings with useful bits like new pens, funky toothbrushes, socks etc.

All the other presents are under the tree. My dc's have a big present from me too .

raindance84 · 24/09/2017 14:31

One year with our eldest she found a bin bag of presents in our wardrobe and in a panic I told her that I'd bought them to send off to santa and that kind of stuck . So they think we either buy the gifts for santa to look after and deliver or we send him money for the presents that he delivers . It stops them asking for really expensive things as well . Stockings are from santa , as are the main / big present like a bike or tablet ect

GemmaCollinsBabes · 24/09/2017 14:34

Stockings and one present from Father Christmas in our house. The rest is from us and family members and labelled as such.

underneaththeash · 24/09/2017 14:38

We do stockings from Santa and big presents from us..if you don't do that your children think that you aren't buying them anything for Christmas. So while you buy aunti xxx apresent, clearly you should be buying your children a present too!

Ohyesiam · 24/09/2017 14:57

We did Santa, well actually father Christmas, but didn't expect them to "believe" it. A bit Like enjoying Harry Potter, but not expecting them to think it's true. So did the ritual, enjoyed the magic etc.

But stockings in out house are really special, full of little stuff that will really make then smile. Very taylor -made, no toothbrushes or pants!
They always go way over budget, but have some really beautiful things in them, that ( so far) my kids have treasured.

Didiusfalco · 24/09/2017 15:04

Craftsy reeks of entitlement judgey much?

The rest of your post is about how you follow your families tradition - which is exactly what I do by only attributing a small stocking of gifts to Santa. No less magical I can assure you and certainly not self serving - what a horrible thing to imply.

elQuintoConyo · 24/09/2017 17:26

We send money to FC and he brings the presents, a bit like Yodel but more reliable.

DS doesn't believe in elves and tbh we have never pushed it. We are in a country where the 3 wise men overshadow FC and gifts arrive on the evening of 5th January.

To DS, FC is just part of a story. He is 6yo.

When i was young we didn't have stockings, just a pillowcase of goodies from FC. There are loads of things i wished for but never got, but never felt left out by other children's boasts. In all honesty i don't think i had boasty friends in 1981.

Sahara123 · 24/09/2017 17:27

A family member who lives abroad does " everything is from Father Christmas " . I put quite a lot of thought into what i give to her children , and enjoy giving them to the children, so always feel a bit sad that they don't know something is from me. It's also a shame that we can't put anything under the tree before hand as they all get delivered by Santa ! I like the idea of everyone giving and receiving so it's a stocking from Father Christmas and everyone else giving each other presents for us.

73kittycat73 · 24/09/2017 21:06

craftsy What a beautiful story to tell. It almost made me well up!

Snakedoctor · 24/09/2017 22:00

Everything for children is from Father Christmas in our house, but he doesn't buy for grown ups! The kids then enjoy making gifts for grandparents, dad etc. We also send extra money to FC if we can afford it! There's no right or wrong way of doing Christmas, whatever works for you!

8misskitty8 · 24/09/2017 22:52

In our house it is stocking from santa. Usually has some novelty things and pants, socks, plus some chocolate including gold coins. Also one big gift from santa list from hI'm too.
Other gifts from us and the girls get something for each other.
Dd1 is 13 so this will be the 2nd Christmas for her that she knows the truth :(
Last year she moved the elf we have (nice plush one, not one of those scares elf on shelf ones) when her little sister was out the room etc. Keeping the magic for her.
Dd2 is 10 and I think that this year will be the last one that santa is real.

But we will keep doing the stocking etc. As up until me and DH left our family homes our parents still did the stocking and gift from santa for us even as adults !

Justabadwife · 24/09/2017 23:08

Father Christmas brings the stocking. Usually full of smellies and stationary and general stocking things. (I dont really know, I didn't have a stocking as a child)
Then the presents downstairs are delivered by FC but are not from him.
It's not a case of me wanting credit for spending £££s on dd. To be honest dd probably doesn't give a shit who that label says the present is off. She probably doesn't even read it, and i dont even care. Its Christmas day, no fucks are given on christmas day in my house.

Mil (As much as I could hurt her sometimes) kept the magic alive for dd when she was little.
Dd had to go on an impromptu sleepover to MILs, dd walked into the spare room to get something and it was full of (thankfully) wrapped presents all for dd.
'Nanny why are there christmas presents on my bed, Its not christmas'
'I'm a helper, like an elf, when it gets very busy at the north pole father Christmas sends me presents to wrap, i wrap them and send them back, these ones are going back tonight, do you want to help me put them into a bag?'

craftsy · 24/09/2017 23:57

The rest of your post is about how you follow your families tradition - which is exactly what I do by only attributing a small stocking of gifts to Santa. No less magical I can assure you and certainly not self serving - what a horrible thing to imply.

Sorry no, but it's not the same. To give so much of yourself while also actively ensuring you won't be thanked for it, is not the same as giving in a way that ensures you are thanked. It just isn't.

I absolutely understand people who don't do Santa because they don't feel comfortable lying to their children. I get where people who do small amounts from Santa because they don't want other children to feel bad about getting less come from. Both of those are completely different ways of doing it from my family but I think they are also wonderful and magical as their sentiment is grounded in honesty and kindness. But to deviate from the cultural norm of giving without receiving thanks just so you can receive thanks does come from a place of entitlement. It's not an awful thing, it doesn't mean it ruins Christmas for the kids. But the fact is that the root of the custom, the whole point of it, is to give in such a way that the recipient is unaware of who the giver is and that in itself is so beautiful. If you take that away because you want thanks, you diminish it.

EllieMentry · 25/09/2017 08:56

craftsy, you seem to be saying that the way you do things - everything coming from Father Christmas - is the 'cultural norm'. I don't think that's the case at all.

You say the 'root of the custom' is to give 'in such a way that the recipient is unaware of who the giver is'. Surely that's the case for whatever Father Christmas gives while children believe in the story - whether it's a stocking, one gift or everything.

In my childhood, FC just brought the stocking and that was magical. That's the way we've done it with our own children. They are adults now and it will be interesting to see what they will do if they have children.

Just from this thread, it seems that people do Father Christmas/Santa in all sorts of ways and much of the time it's either because that's the way their families did it or because it's a reaction against the way their families did it.

Your family story is lovely, but you do seem to be judging people who don't have what you see as a good/kind reason for giving just a stocking from Father Christmas. That's a shame.

DelurkingAJ · 25/09/2017 10:14

You see, I'm genuinely bemused at the idea that FC brings anything except the stockings and one bigger present. Purely because that's what I grew up with! DH had just a stocking from FC but has fallen in wit the 'and one bigger present' as it's always picked to be something to occupy small people while everyone else wakes up. The deal being that you can open your stocking and FC present before everyone else is up. (My DSis and I have happy memories of whoever woke first waking the other and having a glorious time taking turns opening one present from the stocking each on one of our beds before waking DParents).

petitdonkey · 25/09/2017 10:18

Last year we had spent a lot of time talking about the refugee crisis and the poor people in Calais - DD was 7 at the time and asked why FC doesn't bring more to those children as we have plenty. We 'wrote' to him and asked that he only bring stockings, no other gifts. (all three children were on board)

It's a very tricky concept to explain as they get older.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 25/09/2017 14:24

Growing up, I only got a stocking from Father Christmas and I also got a small present from St Nicholas earlier in the month. My Mum involved me in buying, crafting and wrapping presents from a fairly early age (I remember potato stamping holly leaves on a roll of white wallpaper as a 4/5 year old to make wrapping paper) so I just always knew it was mostly about giving/receiving from friends/family.

I've done the same because that's what I knew. Dh's family do it totally different (his sisters and thus their children are older) and we had many Christmases hiding presents in the car when we arrived on Christmas Eve and then sneaking them out in the middle of the night.

Haudyerwheesht · 25/09/2017 14:32

One stocking and main present from santa here...... reasons are:
*because that's what I always had growing up

because I want them to be grateful to us
because they need to understand not all kids are as lucky (and I do tell them some kids get nothing and we donate / volunteer etc)
because I want to

sunseptember · 25/09/2017 16:23

That's the way we've done it with our own children. They are adults now and it will be interesting to see what they will do if they have children

well to a large degree we copy our childhoods and what our parents might have done ( bar nasty stuff) you will see over and over - we never had FC and it never spoilt the magic for us - so we do it with our own dc"

mine is different as dh is foreign and did Xmas differently, he said he can see now - his xmas growing up was no way as exciting or magical as the dc coming downstairs wondering if - he has been....the waiting , anticipation, magic, staring at the sky...wondering if he will make it!

his xmas is very restrained - receiving gifts given by the giver on xmas eve...its lovely of course - getting a gift is lovely but not much marks it out from a normal birthday except there is a tree and everyone gets a gift. another friend has not really done stockings, she never had them and cant get them so never made effort with them so guess what!!

Her dc arnt really into them!

If i didn't do fc with my dc I could make it very special for them...and will once fc period is over - however its highly likley they could copy what I did and also never do FC.

its just fun.

sunseptember · 25/09/2017 16:25

But the fact is that the root of the custom, the whole point of it, is to give in such a way that the recipient is unaware of who the giver is and that in itself is so beautiful

Agree with this, said well thanks craftsy.

noramum · 25/09/2017 16:34

Father Christmas brings some of the presents DD put on her list. Some are referred from him to us so we can put restrictions on it (ipad, kindle for example).

DH and I then buy various other presents and all family presents come obviously from the respective person and DD thanks them accordingly.

We are Germans so present time is on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day Father Christmas comes again with a stocking as a stocking is not a German tradition we don't include it in our Christmas. I normally put a small game (like Top Trumps), hair stuff, bath bombs, CD, make up etc. Last year we read a book where the characters all got underpants from FC. DD specifically asked not to get any. Well, I put some crop tops in her stocking.