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Christmas

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Original poster

Stocking from Father Christmas....

72 replies

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:04

... the rest from us.

I see this mentioned a lot in here. Why do people do this? I've never under stood.

Isn't it a bit self serving at the detriment of the magic?

OP posts:
Original poster
Takamine · 24/09/2017 08:14

"A few years ago I read a plea on here to not 'over give' from Santa. The reason was that children talk to each other... but come from different means. A child who hears that Santa brought his/her classmate 3x what she/he received might be sad and confused - doesn't Santa like them as much? Aren't they as good? From that time we did a modest token from"

Surely they'd still have this problem ...? The way around this would be to buy less overall, not to change the source.

OP posts:
Original poster
Takamine · 24/09/2017 08:15

"Some families like to encourage their children to think of others and buy/make small presents to give to them, rather than Christmas just being all about receiving things."

Why do you think we don't do this?

OP posts:
custardlover · 24/09/2017 08:16

No, the point (aim, hope) is that Santa just brings stockings to children, not Barbie's dream house, a shit ton of LEGO, the latest collectible and a fucking robot to one and a stocking to another.

AdalindSchade · 24/09/2017 08:18

Why does it matter to you that other people do it differently? Personally I don't like the idea that santa delivers gifts from everybody including family but some people do that. So what?
I wish people wouldn't give their kids xboxes and iPads from santa because plenty of parents wouldn't attribute such expensive things to santa if they could afford them at all. Previously I've told my ds that although so and so's Xbox said it was from santa it must have been from someone else because santa doesn't bring xboxes and I don't care if that bothers others!

Flitter123 · 24/09/2017 08:19

For me Father Christmas' stocking should be fairly cheap and a bit of fun - a few bits that are proper presents but nothing expensive. I don't want them to think that material things just appear. Also I always think of other children whom Santa can't afford to buy expensive gifts for - hardly seems fair and puts a lot of pressure on their parents. I always point out that Father Christmas has a lot of children to buy things for.

EllieMentry · 24/09/2017 09:08

People do things differently. What's not to understand?

In our family, Father Christmas brings a stocking with small gifts. Everything else is from whoever gives it.

That doesn't mean Christmas isn't magical, and it's not about 'taking credit' for presents - it's more that the most magical part of Christmas for us is celebrating together. We all try to choose gifts that would make each other happy, including the children.

In our family, the Father Christmas thing has always been one small element of Christmas, rather than the point of it.

FrancisCrawford · 24/09/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wayfarersonbaby · 24/09/2017 09:42

FC brings stockings here, and also one or two other presents under the tree - usually a "big" present (which might or might not be expensive). Then there are presents from us to DD as well. This was how my family did things when I was young, but also seemed to be how the majority of families did it, from what I could tell. Until being on MN, I had never heard of either FC bringing only stockings and nothing else, or, conversely, of all the presents under the tree coming from FC!

Books, films, all the iconography of Christmas suggests both that FC brings stockings, but also at least one present under the tree (even Peppa Christmas episodes!), so doing stockings plus at least one FC tree present fits in with all of that.

Here, FC's presents have a separate wrapping paper - something a bit garish that doesn't fit in with mummy's carefully curated wrapping colour scheme Grin - to make it clear who has sent what. As the DC stop believing, it's easy to switch to all presents being from parents. I've always wondered what happens in "santa brings all" houses when the DC no longer believe - how traumatic that everything suddenly switches around Grin

Annwithnoe · 24/09/2017 09:49

I think if I were starting over I'd just bring stockings from Santa too. As it is I've always encouraged the dc not to ask for too much or to be greedy, because we can afford to buy them nice gifts, and other children might only get gifts from Santa.

Growing up I was mystified why the class bully always got the most amazing gifts from Santa.

SunSeptember · 24/09/2017 11:37

I put some gifts out from us about the week before so they can be prodded and admired Grin just in case.... He... Can't make it. Middle of road stuff like lush stuff this year... Books... Colouring stuff. Then fc will leave much larger pile, big ticket items that mummy and daddy could never afford.
Present form grandparents are given direct when we see them, no one else gives us gifts...

I don't feel the dc are spoilt or less appreciate... I don't expect then to kiss my hand in sheer gratitude
The look on dd1 face when she got that elsa dress that was sold out.... Utterly amazing... Amazing moment. I know I got it for her, I could see her sheer joy and gratitude!

MysweetAudrina · 24/09/2017 11:46

Everything comes from Santa in this house. They get to ask for one named present, a surprise and a stocking. I do go a bit mad on the stockings. I buy them pyjamas and clothes. Don't really care what others do.

OwlKiss · 24/09/2017 11:59

I give stockings from Father Christmas and present(s) under the tree from us, because that's what my parents did with me, as did DH's.

Our stockings were quite frugal growing up - I promise that it did not "spoil the magic" one jot. I think I was just as dizzy with anticipation whilst opening a bouncy ball and a paperback book, a pair of mittens and a satsuma as I would have been with big, expensive gifts.

40 years later, I still have some of the things that "Father Christmas" brought me over the years, and I still remember the excitement of opening them.

Size and value and number of gifts doesn't necessarily correlate with level of excitement and "magic".

SpiritedLondon · 24/09/2017 12:04

Well if any of you have read the thread from the lady who is living in a homeless shelter with 2 kids and no money for presents you see exactly why some people downplay the contributions of FC in their house. I would hate for some kids to be sat at school after the holidays wondering why someone else got a bike and they got a pair of gloves etc. I'm also a bit startled that anyone would need this explaining.

OvO · 24/09/2017 12:17

Santa brings the stocking and a few other presents. He doesn't bring things that are £££ as he can't do that for everybody, Santa has magic but also a budget too you know.

Wanting my children to understand they can't ask for piles of stuff from Santa isn't self serving. I find that a weird thing to think. Rather than try to understand other ways of doing Christmas you've decided people are being self serving. Confused

stargirl1701 · 24/09/2017 12:30

FC brings a stocking and one gift. The DC write a letter with 3 options for FC to choose from. It can be their heart's desire...this is probably because I wanted a Mr Frosty and never got one!

The other gifts come from friends and family so thank you letters/phone calls (age dependent) need to be made on Boxing Day.

We find it a good way to keep the number of gifts to a reasonable number and not allow FC to be the focus of the celebration.

Notso · 24/09/2017 12:41

I would hate for some kids to be sat at school after the holidays wondering why someone else got a bike and they got a pair of gloves etc. I'm also a bit startled that anyone would need this explaining.
In my experience children discuss what they were given rather than who gave it, so it doesn't matter whether you tell the kids their bike comes from Father Christmas, Mum and Dad or their Auntie Jean.

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 24/09/2017 12:44

Not getting a present from you sounds like just an excuse to spend less Hmm

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 24/09/2017 12:46

My parents filled up a pillowcase from Santa and put them outside our bedroom doors! It was amazing!!! Then we rushed downstairs to open all our presents from Mum & Dad after quite often tearing into the pillowcase upstairs out of impatience!

acubalibreplease · 24/09/2017 12:52

Surely the thing about Xmas is that everyone goes it differently?

In this house presents from friends and family get put under the tree as they are given. FC fills a stocking full of nice presents, plus some small bits and pieces that we never allow (pack of chewing gum, box of coco pops) and he leaves a 'big' present. Not always the most expensive but the most wanted. He also wraps in cheap paper that doesn't match my colour go ordinated gifts!

Then dh and I also give the kids a present or two.

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 24/09/2017 12:52

OvO With regards to Santa's budget - Are you not aware of the story behind Santa Claus and his toy making Elves?! The idea is, kids are told that Santa and his elves 'make' the toys?! Hmm

Notso · 24/09/2017 13:13

Not getting a present from you sounds like just an excuse to spend lessHmm

What?!

craftsy · 24/09/2017 13:17

I think it's a bit weird, especially when people say it's because they want the credit. That just reeks of entitlement and short-sightedness. Everything my parents gave me on Christmas morning was from Santa. They had very little money but my mum was an excellent manager of what little they had and both my parents are great bargain hunters and very crafty. So all year she budgeted and they both planned. They would buy us as perfect a gift as they could afford and also gather bits of other people's crap and turn them into wonderful gifts, like the dolls cot my dad built from scrap wood and my mum painted in beautiful patterns and made bedding for, the year I wanted a baby doll.

I think of them both tired at night after getting us into bed and instead of enjoying a bit of chill out in front of the tv, they retrieved their work from the shed and spent the night working on these toys for us. I think of how they would have alternated between being overwhelmed at the task ahead and filled with the excited anticipation of seeing our faces on Christmas morning. I think of just how very, very much love they put into their work and how amazing that alone was. And then I think about how they did all that and gave the credit to some imaginary guy in a red suit. How when we were delighted and surprised at the morning's bounty, they exclaimed what an amazing guy that Santa was and we were enthralled and overwhelmed by how fantastic he was.

They gave and they gave and they gave so far over and above what they needed to and they did it all knowing they wouldn't be thanked for it. I can't imagine a purer expression of love than that. It's phenomenal. It's mind-blowingly staggering. And of course the twist in the tale is that while my 5yo self never thanked them for it, late 30s me sure as hell recognises what they gave me. I might not be that child anymore but whenever I think about what they did I feel so, so very loved and I love them so much in return. And I hope that they understand that on the December nights I spend sitting alone in my kitchen carving, moulding and painting silly little custom toys for Santa to bring my son (along with the bigger toys that I can afford more easily than they could). That I am honouring them and their love for me every bit as much as I am expressing my love for my son.

OvO · 24/09/2017 13:26

Bing, why the wee humfy face? Of course Santa and the elves make the toys but santa has overheads too. So it would be greedy to ask for a big pile of presents from him. Magic can only do so much.

PuckeredAhole · 24/09/2017 13:44

We say to our kids that we give the money to santa and he buys, wraps and delivers.

AdalindSchade · 24/09/2017 13:45

Not many kids believe that santa's elves make xboxes