Christmas present dilemma - To buy or not to buy?

[TooMuchFamilyDrama]

(I know this is months away but our families always start planning and buying in August so want to sort this asap)

Christmas is a really big 'hoo ha' every year in our family.
Things are a bit tight for us this year however as we're saving to buy a house and a couple of friends mentioned that their families only do presents for children at Christmas and get some nice cards for the adults.

These friends have children on all sides of their family though so it's pretty even but both DH and I have a sibling each, neither of them have children so I don't want it to come across like we expect without giving back.

This would be great for us though but I know both sides of the family would be unhappy as my mum and DH mum both expect good gifts and get very upset if they aren't good enough 😒

WIBU to suggest we're only buying presents for our DS and that we don't expect any from anyone else?

(The thing is that they will still probably buy him things, they are very materialistic and it's like a crazy competition to be the best between the four grandparents!)

They sound grabby and ungrateful OP! Everyone has made great suggestions, but I get the impression they'll be unhappy no matter what you do.

Give them all lumps of coal I say.

Ooh, I love giving and receiving of thoughtful gifts. I'd just rather do it to my own timetable rather than retailers.*

Well that's fine, go for it. But the OP was specifically asking about Christmas. In the Christmas topic.

It wasn't in the Xmas topic originally.

The Secret Santa idea was shot right down.

😂 I can imagine the fallout if I gave them coal! 😂

Oh I didn't even realise there was a Christmas topic or that it's been moved! Lol.

I'm going to get my DS to help me make some home made gifts and if they get the hump again this year then I shall find my angry voice weather my DH likes it or not, I won't let them be so ungrateful again.

Thanks everyone for replying!

Some people enjoy giving and receiving of gifts?
I like and enjoy giving gifts, I did not enjoy being poor and having to worry about buying other people Christmas presents when I couldn't afford it. I also would not enjoy knowing that the gift that has been bought for me has left another person struggling.

Don't wait until Christmas to find your angry voice. Assert yourself now and clearly explain to them what you plan to do . If they go in the huff so be it. They are grown ups, they will survive. Don't let someone else dictate to you how you spend your money

weird. other than ltb?.....

my family are the opposite, but now they have a DGC I'm sure they will do more this year

I was in this exact position last year expect DP didnt want to upset anyone by not buying so i just set a 20 pound budget pp (buying for 8 people so 160 pound) and around 40 pound on DS (he was 2 and gets loads off everyone so wouldnt really notice anyway)
Me and DP didnt buy each other anything.obviously it was still expensive as it was 200 pound but it kept cost down somewhat and definitley reigned it in

If DMIL wants a load of tat type presents, why not take £10 or £20, go to both Tiger and Poundstretcher, and buy a pile of things there?

Or make her a lovely hamper with homemade and shop-bought goodies in it that she likes - strawberry jam or marmalade, dried herbs, get her favourite tea/coffee, nice biscuits, etc? Include a bottle of wine if you want, or make an infused vodka or gin.