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Christmas

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Original poster

DH has just bought our youngest a ridiculously expensive present, how do I even this out?!

83 replies

C0dy · 11/12/2016 18:31

DS7 wanted a really expensive present. Me and DH had a chat and agreed we would not get him it because of how much it cost but said we would look at it again next year/for his birthday (depending on what money he got for Christmas) and go from there.

I have bought all presents and spent roughly the same on my youngest 3. DH turned up today and gleefully announced he has bought it and won't DS be so happy. He will be but seriously!! I don't know what to do to even it out! It doesn't have to be exactly even, but it just seems really unfair right now. DHs argument is that we were going to get it for him next year, but the intention was he put a significant proportion towards it.

I can't really match it with gifts for the other 2 as would not know what to buy and we have a rule of no cash at Christmas.

Aghhh. Do I try and take it back or just explain to DS5 and DS6 what is happening and hope they are okay with it?

OP posts:
PixieMiss · 11/12/2016 18:32

I gather that it isn't something all 3 can use as a joint present?

Shylo · 11/12/2016 18:33

I think you return it for a refund and stick to the original agreement

ferriswheel · 11/12/2016 18:33

Yeah, what is it?

MinesAGin · 11/12/2016 18:33

Are those your children's ages there? Would they notice a huge discrepancy in price?

Hulababy · 11/12/2016 18:34

I don't think you can take it back as DH, presumably as an equal parent, also gets a say as to what to spend the family money on surely? Unless it is separate finances and it is your money he has spent.

However, your Dh does need to realise that he is treating one child to a much dearer present than the others. How does HE think it should be solved so it is fair? Will he be buying them all a dearer gift this year? Or will they all get a much dearer gift than the others when they are 7 too?

AmeliaJack · 11/12/2016 18:34

I would have your DH return in.

Alternatively put it away until the Birthday as planned.

wonderingsoul · 11/12/2016 18:34

Depends what it is...
If its a comsole id say it was a family present for all of you.

Can you afford to buy the other two a couple more ?

Soubriquet · 11/12/2016 18:34

Would your youngest even notice really?

What is it?

cheekyfunkymonkey · 11/12/2016 18:34

I'd stick to what you have planned. Don't give it him yet, give it him next year as planned, just bonus that dh has paid for it already.

Bryna · 11/12/2016 18:35

At those ages they don't know how much is spent, but rather how MANY presents they receive, so as long as it's not something they all covet, i'd just make sure the amount of presents look the same and not worry about value!

MarsBarsAreShrinking · 11/12/2016 18:37

That would really annoy me, that your H would go and buy it after you'd discussed it together and decided to wait.

FWIW I'd feel the same as you and would want to "even things up". What does your H say about it? Does he think it's fair?

Can you afford to spend the same on the other 2? Do they even need/want more things to the same value? Just thinking, would you just be spending for the sake of it? Would they, at 5 and 6, even notice or realise? Could you not just get them both something else, not as expensive, to even up the actual amount of gifts?

Haudyerwheesht · 11/12/2016 18:38

You say he's bought your youngest the present but then aren't the numbers after DS your kids ages or do you have 7 sons???

If it's their ages then tbh I wouldn't bother buying anything else or if I did it'd be a £20 thing or similar. Am wondering what it is for a 7 year old though...

farfarawayfromhome · 11/12/2016 18:38

I need to know what this is.

GinIsIn · 11/12/2016 18:39

Can you take his other presents back to redress the balance?

Floralnomad · 11/12/2016 18:40

I have never price matched for my DC because I figured it evens out over the years . As an example this year I will probably spend about 7-800 on DD and about 3-400 on DS , other years it's been round the other way . Provided they have all got things they would like / asked for / wanted I can't see what the problem is . Our DC are now 17 and adult and neither has ever questioned the monetary value of their Christmas presents or their siblings presents and frankly if they did I would be appalled as they've not been bought up to be materialistic or grabby . So in summary if your other DC have nice presents that they will like what's the problem .

Somersetlady · 11/12/2016 18:41

If they are all getting what they WANT for Christmas then the price is immaterial. They will all be thrilled to get their choice surely?

Original poster
C0dy · 11/12/2016 18:43

Sorry I didn't make the ages clear. DS is 15 and my 2 older ones are 17 and 19 (19yo is at uni and 17yo is still at school so I spend the usual amount on them still; my older boys get smaller presents). They won't comment on the difference but it's a big difference and very noticeable so I don't feel it's fair.

Next year is looking to be an expensive year; we are looking at getting DS6 a car and putting some money towards an expensive trip DS5 is taking over summer. They don't know this yet so I don't want to spoil it. The plan was to put some money towards this thing (if DS still wanted it) at that point tbh. I want him to put some of his own money towards it as well though.

It's a laptop and a bloody expensive one at that (which may be clouding my judgement!) so they can't really share.

OP posts:
Original poster
C0dy · 11/12/2016 18:45

I don't know if they will mind it might just be me! I have never completely priced matched but do try and spend similar amounts at Christmas (birthdays are slightly different)

OP posts:
Hulababy · 11/12/2016 18:46

How about, adding the information about the car and holiday into a 'gift card' type thing in an envelope to unwrap, then they all get their big present for the year at the same time?

fakenamefornow · 11/12/2016 18:49

Sorry, I'm completely confused about how many children you have and how old they are.

ijustwannadance · 11/12/2016 18:51

Can you put it away until his birthday?

atticusclaw2 · 11/12/2016 18:51

There are seven children

WellErrr · 11/12/2016 18:52

Me too fake!

Haudyerwheesht · 11/12/2016 18:52

So you have 7 sons?

WellErrr · 11/12/2016 18:52

And yes, I'd return or put it away until birthday