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Christmas

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Janet and Roy round robin 2016

89 replies

DudeWheresMyVulva · 03/10/2016 22:26

..... here is mine so far for 2016. It has been building from previous years. Anyone else happy tp post theirs?

Dear XXX and XXX

Well, hasn’t time flown? And hasn’t Minty grown! We are so proud of our granddaughter. Thank heavens she is just the very spit of Helen, which is why we are sure she has been signed by Scallywags. I don't have to tell you both that this is THE top child modelling agency in the country. We sent in the photos Pam took of Minty at her 12 month birthday bash and of course they accepted her straight away, but I do think that Pam was just being a LITTLE unkind when she referred to it as Minty's' 'mugshot'. Of course she thought it was very funny, but things are a little sore after Kyle failed to pass his parole board hearing. Helen took it all in her stride though, and as Minty is an Indigo child we always knew that she would really be rather special.

There’s no sign of any more blood grandchildren at present, although we do hope Colin's promotion means that he and Vic might get started soon. As wonderful as three stepchildren may be, it’s not the same as a family of one’s own. Still, Vic is lovely in her own 'special' sort of way, and as for that dreadful girl Colin brought home in Christmas 2014, the less said the better. The £ 40 cleaning charge we had to pay the taxi driver was worth every cent.

You recall Kev and Sue, our last neighbours but one of course. Their daughter Emma was in Liberia in the thick of the Ebola crisis over last Christmas and has been posted to Calais since August so we’ve planned a surprise trip to see her for New Year. We are sure she will be thrilled to have visitors from home and Sue says her sofa bed is quite comfortable enough. Helen and Minty are coming also, although Colin has to be in Sydney for a meeting and Vic is otherwise engaged. Don't tell Colin I mentioned it, but I do not think Vic is really 'one of us'. . However, her designs are absolutely beautiful and she has drawn plenty of inspiration from our trip to the Iguazu Falls earlier in the year. I will send you the photos. Roy looks a scream in his poncho!

My own dear Mother is as hale and hearty as ever. She is never one to step back from a fight, bless her, and she had a bit of a to-do with the Pastor over this year’s Harvest Festival. Naturally Moi had to step in and smooth over troubled waters, but as I said to Roy, One must do what One does best. Personally I think the Pastor is still smarting over the success of the Christmas carol concert last year, which he had prophesied as a failure, but there was really no need for him to take the donkeys personally and we’re sure it will blow over in time for this year’s event. Roy’s work at St Andrew’s paid off and it was such a joy to be invited to Buck House to meet their HRH's. It’s a shame little Princess Charlotte was born last year; a year earlier and she would have made a wonderful companion for Minty. [Taps nose]... I hear another little Baby Royal might be on the way. but you did not hear it from me.

The garden is looking lovely as always and Roy is doing wonders with the tomato plants. He has taken to hydroponics with ease but I am not quite sure why it needs to be set up in the attic. The electricity costs have indeed ''gone through the roof'' (my little joke!) but Roy assures me that these are special tomatoes and we will be reaping the money in for them big time when they ripen. Don't tell him, but I am planning to take some to our next County Show... I am fully expecting them to attract some interest and maybe even a rosette! Roy will be surprised!

xxxxx

That is all I have so far. I have borrowed heavily from some cracking one liners I recall other MNetters writing in previous years!

OP posts:
Doublegloucester · 23/10/2016 14:16

I can see my FiL being bemused by this for months!!
Happy to write one from Oxfordshire, Berkshire or London!
Would someone from the North East/East Mids./East Anglia be able to do one for me, please?

Tia!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 23/10/2016 14:26

As someone whose mum actually writes an embarrassingly real one of these every year that she sends to lots of random aquaintances friends, I adore, laugh but also cringe over these threads each year Grin thanks mnetters for helping me see the funny side

cocoabuttersosoft · 30/10/2016 13:04

I think MN must be my spiritual home!

Had been thinking about doing a spoof round robin letter this Christmas, and pondering where I could post it from.

... And it turns out that not only are there other people as bonkers as me who share the same sense of humour, but you have actually organised yourselves!

Shock Grin

CakeNinja · 30/10/2016 13:09

CatThief, you did my mum one a few years ago, actually cried with laughter at their baffled faces Grin
Could you do them another one please? Pretty please? Flowers

FruJustFru · 30/10/2016 17:31

Actually, some of you could do what someone did to me last year!

We received a Christmas card addressed to me and DP - so it said Fru & DP (first names only), then our address. But it wasn't a Christmas card, it was a picture of a duck! And it was totally blank inside. I still have no idea who sent it as I can't recognise the writing on the envelope.

I've still got it. Will post a photo in due course!

CatThiefKeith · 30/10/2016 17:45

CakeNinja go on then. Just this once. What did I put in the last one? Did Janet and Roy have any fictional children? Pm me their address and I will send it early December.

CakeNinja · 30/10/2016 17:50

Cheers Cat, I'll send you a PM a bit later if okay? I also notice on your FB friends, one of them has 4 friends in common with me and one of them is my mum Shock
Small world Grin

mummytime · 30/10/2016 18:03

I'd be willing to do one from Surrey if anyone wants. I can't think of any good recipient though.

MrsDilligaf · 30/10/2016 19:38

I know a RL Janet and Roy....they are an absolute hoot.

Roy is an expert on everything and unintentionally hilarious.

Janet is very much a quiet, unassuming (and genuinely lovely) lady but the one-liners she come out with are fabulous.

I would love to send one. I'm in Bucks.

HardcoreLadyType · 30/10/2016 19:39

This is my aunt and uncle, but Roy died this year. Sad

Makemineacabsauv · 30/10/2016 20:34

Can I get one please for my friend?And I 'd love to do one too, from Scotland.

Makemineacabsauv · 30/10/2016 20:36

Please highlight my name if you want to pair up then I'll wrestle laptop from dd and check my pm!!

OpheIiaBaIIs · 30/10/2016 22:49

I'm in Newcastle - if anybody wants a Geordie postmark PM me Xmas Grin

Makemineacabsauv · 30/10/2016 23:16

Ophelia, can't pm from my phone - if you want to do J&R swap let me know on here and I '"@ find laptop and PM you. Love this!

LadyStoic · 31/10/2016 00:03

I'm in naice Home Counties postmark area - would happily fecking deliriously happily write one for someone!!!

PISSED myself at PS Roy's Mum died. GrinGrinGrin

JoeMaplin · 31/10/2016 22:20

I would absolutely love someone to do a letter for a some 40something keen campers known to me (and senders of their own excruciating round Robin...). Thanks so much.

CatThiefKeith · 02/11/2016 11:04

CakeNinja Shock Which friend?

CakeNinja · 02/11/2016 12:35

Cat, his initials are CH and he's got what looks from a brief glance, to be Marilyn Monroe as his profile picture!

LadyStoic · 02/11/2016 15:38

Joe Have PM'd you Wink

And am already googling 'Tent of the Year'

LadyStoic · 02/11/2016 15:45

Offt, have just realised how belly clutching crying with laughter fab this would be for my DS - any writees?

Sent from Home Counties would be ace as she's so self obsessed/utter PA narc 'posh' Grin

Pretty please?

princessconsuelabannahammock · 02/11/2016 23:52

Does anyone want to write one of these for my out laws. They would love this and would spend months trying to figure out who it is from. They send several of these things out throughout the year to virtually anyone they have ever met. Happy for it come from anywhere north of London as we are far down south.

Would get a great kick writting one of you of you want a postmark from the sw.

MrsDilligaf · 03/11/2016 05:17

Princess

I'll do one for you - I'm in Buckinghamshire. PM me if you would like me to do it.

sashh · 03/11/2016 05:47

OMG OP I have neighbours called Kev and Sue.

I'm west midlands and happy to post.

CatThiefKeith · 03/11/2016 09:58

CakeNinja that in itself is a weird story!

CH knows a friend of mine from school. He is an Arsenal fan, and one day he commented on one of her Facebook posts. His profile picture was a shot of the emirates pitch, taken from his season ticketed seat. It also contained the back of me and my dad's heads! He'd been sitting directly behind me for 3 years and we'd never actually met!

We've since become good pals, but if he hadn't had that particular profile pic at a time we'd both commented on her post we'd probably still be strangers.

Funny old world innit?

GreyEyedAthene · 03/11/2016 09:58

I am happy to post a pre written one from Northamptonshire. Smile
I've never done one so wouldn't want to let anyone down with my shoddy first effort.
I think I'll try to write one for my mum and her partner, unless anyone wants to write one for me? Wink

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