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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Janet and Roy round robin 2016

89 replies

DudeWheresMyVulva · 03/10/2016 22:26

..... here is mine so far for 2016. It has been building from previous years. Anyone else happy tp post theirs?

Dear XXX and XXX

Well, hasn’t time flown? And hasn’t Minty grown! We are so proud of our granddaughter. Thank heavens she is just the very spit of Helen, which is why we are sure she has been signed by Scallywags. I don't have to tell you both that this is THE top child modelling agency in the country. We sent in the photos Pam took of Minty at her 12 month birthday bash and of course they accepted her straight away, but I do think that Pam was just being a LITTLE unkind when she referred to it as Minty's' 'mugshot'. Of course she thought it was very funny, but things are a little sore after Kyle failed to pass his parole board hearing. Helen took it all in her stride though, and as Minty is an Indigo child we always knew that she would really be rather special.

There’s no sign of any more blood grandchildren at present, although we do hope Colin's promotion means that he and Vic might get started soon. As wonderful as three stepchildren may be, it’s not the same as a family of one’s own. Still, Vic is lovely in her own 'special' sort of way, and as for that dreadful girl Colin brought home in Christmas 2014, the less said the better. The £ 40 cleaning charge we had to pay the taxi driver was worth every cent.

You recall Kev and Sue, our last neighbours but one of course. Their daughter Emma was in Liberia in the thick of the Ebola crisis over last Christmas and has been posted to Calais since August so we’ve planned a surprise trip to see her for New Year. We are sure she will be thrilled to have visitors from home and Sue says her sofa bed is quite comfortable enough. Helen and Minty are coming also, although Colin has to be in Sydney for a meeting and Vic is otherwise engaged. Don't tell Colin I mentioned it, but I do not think Vic is really 'one of us'. . However, her designs are absolutely beautiful and she has drawn plenty of inspiration from our trip to the Iguazu Falls earlier in the year. I will send you the photos. Roy looks a scream in his poncho!

My own dear Mother is as hale and hearty as ever. She is never one to step back from a fight, bless her, and she had a bit of a to-do with the Pastor over this year’s Harvest Festival. Naturally Moi had to step in and smooth over troubled waters, but as I said to Roy, One must do what One does best. Personally I think the Pastor is still smarting over the success of the Christmas carol concert last year, which he had prophesied as a failure, but there was really no need for him to take the donkeys personally and we’re sure it will blow over in time for this year’s event. Roy’s work at St Andrew’s paid off and it was such a joy to be invited to Buck House to meet their HRH's. It’s a shame little Princess Charlotte was born last year; a year earlier and she would have made a wonderful companion for Minty. [Taps nose]... I hear another little Baby Royal might be on the way. but you did not hear it from me.

The garden is looking lovely as always and Roy is doing wonders with the tomato plants. He has taken to hydroponics with ease but I am not quite sure why it needs to be set up in the attic. The electricity costs have indeed ''gone through the roof'' (my little joke!) but Roy assures me that these are special tomatoes and we will be reaping the money in for them big time when they ripen. Don't tell him, but I am planning to take some to our next County Show... I am fully expecting them to attract some interest and maybe even a rosette! Roy will be surprised!

xxxxx

That is all I have so far. I have borrowed heavily from some cracking one liners I recall other MNetters writing in previous years!

OP posts:
FruVikingessOla · 20/10/2016 12:56

Dude, your tomato plants and hydroponics are absolutely inspired Xmas Grin

I remember the first year of Janet & Roy. I think I contributed, on thread, re Janet's election as Lady Captain of the golf club - despite fierce opposition - and Roy's problems with his piles.

Things have certainly improved over the years with J & R since my feeble contributions!

GerdaLovesLili · 20/10/2016 13:08

Dude That's awesome!

TheUterati · 20/10/2016 18:20

More than happy to do one from London. As a seasonal twist, I can do a Chanukah one.

BaggyCheeks · 20/10/2016 20:51

I can do one from Edinburgh-ish if that helps anyone Grin

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 20/10/2016 20:57

Happy to send from Cheshire or North Wales!

daisygirlmac · 20/10/2016 21:03

This is brilliant!! Can't believe I haven't seen this before. I can post from Cumbria, sorry The Lake District if it helps anyone. Also prime second home territory Grin

DudeWheresMyVulva · 20/10/2016 22:13

I'd love to take credit for the entire janet and Roy- but I have borrowed heavily from other Mnetters in previous years. :)

OP posts:
Makemineacabsauv · 20/10/2016 22:49

Haha!! Love writing as Janet!!! I can send from Scotland - west coast if anyone wants one from here.,

SquawkFish · 20/10/2016 22:51

What is it? Please can someone explain?

Never heard of it...

hannahpan · 20/10/2016 23:11

I can offer one sent from the Isle of Man if anyone fancies it.

YoungBritishPissArtist · 20/10/2016 23:21

I can send one from London (east, north or central). Please, please, I really want to send one and don't need one in return!

AndieNZ · 20/10/2016 23:43

Can I have one done please?

My mother in law is typical Bridget Jones Mum and this would be hilarious!

SquawkFish · 21/10/2016 08:42

AndieNZ

I'll do you one if you are OK with it being sent from London (or Somerset actually...).

FruVikingessOla · 21/10/2016 08:44

Squawk. A few years ago there was a thread where the OP told of receiving a Christmas card (or maybe it was her parents who received the card, I can't quite remember now) from some people called Janet & Roy, in which Janet had written a note about their lives that year. The thing was, the OP (or her parents) didn't know anybody called Janet & Roy and they were utterly bemused by it.

This started the idea of MNers offering to send 'Janet & Roy' Christmas cards to someone that another MNer nominated - usually their own parents or in-laws. The sender had to send it from an area where the recipients didn't know anybody (because of the postmark). And, obviously, if the recipients did have friends called Janet & Roy then the names were changed to something else totally unknown to the recipients.

This then spawned the idea of not just a Christmas card, but a card containing a Round Robin letter. A total work of fiction, including all sorts of family names and details which would mean nothing to the recipient - hence Dude's brilliant J & R in her OP!

SquawkFish · 21/10/2016 08:58

FruVikingessOla

Thank you for the explanation, and more importantly the back story. I'm totally in. Do you insert some details of truth so they think they do actually know you?

CatThiefKeith · 21/10/2016 09:02

I lost all my PM's after Jeffrey, but if the amazing MNer that did my parents Janet and Roy a couple of years ago is on this thread please can you get in touch.

The memory of my Dad mulling over the name 'Bunty McKinley' and insisting that he knew the name still reduces me to hysterics every time I think of it. That round robin was inspired!

SquawkFish · 21/10/2016 09:32

So J and R have acquired an alpaca. It just needs a name...

FruVikingessOla · 21/10/2016 09:41

"Do you insert some details of truth so they think they do actually know you?"

No, I don't think you're supposed to do that. I think the point is that the recipient has no knowledge of who these people/their family are and spend ages mulling over where they might have met them - as Keith's post says, her dad was convinced he knew of a Bunty McKinley!

And, anyway, Round Robin letters are all about the sender's family (i.e. J&R's family) as they are mass produced for the sender to enclose in Christmas cards to all their pals.

Although I think some J&Rs also include a personal PS - maybe something along the lines of "we'll be coming to in January to visit Bunty, so will try to pop in to see you en-route - will let you know nearer the time".

CatThiefKeith · 21/10/2016 10:20

Please call Janet and Roy's alpaca 'Picnic'

DudeWheresMyVulva · 21/10/2016 19:27

One of the funniest J and R's I read last year had reams and paragraphs of self aggrandising blah blah then finished like this;

....

Happiest of seasonal greetings,

Love Janet and Roy.

PS- Roy's mum died. '

OP posts:
BaggyCheeks · 21/10/2016 20:10

PS- Roy's mum died.

A-ma-zing!

DudeWheresMyVulva · 21/10/2016 21:18

Last year I also included this;

In July Roy had some troubles with his prostate that were soon sorted by his GP. It was not in any way related to 'that other business' and Janet is happy to report that she has forgiven Roy and the pair are stronger than ever.

OP posts:
AndieNZ · 21/10/2016 21:29

That would be great squawkfish.

Do you need one? I am in Lancashire

SlatternIsTrying · 23/10/2016 12:06

Ps Roy's mum died

Grin
MarklahMarklah · 23/10/2016 12:25

Happy do write one from down south/london borders if anyone wants one.

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