How much do you spend on Christmas and how many do you buy for?

[onedayatatime73]

Every year I go mad a Christmas just because I live Christmas. But I spend more than I can afford and every Boxing Day I feel sick that it was all a bit of a waste and no one really cares about all the "extra" things I stupidly bought and I start panicking about all the credit cards I will spend the year paying off.
So how do you find a way of being sensible about it?
I am well aware that for some people this will sound like an inappropriate question because some some people buying anything at all is hugely stressful. So I don't mean to sound glib in my question. But I do need help in finding a more sensible way forward.
I usually start shopping in July and have stopped this year for the very reason that I just start buying stuff that people don't want or really like just because I like the buying part of it.
I just don't want another January of feeling awful about myself for spending money that would be so better spent on other things.
I tried one of those spending Apps and found it so laborious I gave up.
Has anyone experienced and conquered this?
I have a huge family so I need to find a way of making this work somehow
Sorry for long post

Badders - definitely! I've found it really freeing not to worry about "will X like this? Shall I pick up something else to round it out? Have I spent exactly equal on each sibling? Are they all beautifully wrapped?" and so on. Especially if I get back (my MIL sounds like your MIL!) something weird from a car boot sale or similar in exchange (I got a pair of dog-eared pink fluffy socks one year, along with an individual bottle of Babycham and a 99p pack of wooden craft duck card toppers from Hobbycraft.... We had bought MIL an electronic photo frame she'd requested and a big Sanctuary star gift set. I don't even drink Babycham.... )

If they are all getting a half price bottle of prosecco and some M&S chocs then they can hardly complain; and more of my headspace is freed up to think up lovely Christmassy surprises for DD who is always delighted and really does appreciate her gifts (as small children do!) Might suggest kids only next year....

I am the same we buy that aunt zilch.

I also used to make effort with DH family, no more. They get same things every year child based, simple and cheap. I am sick of handing over gifts esp to mil and cousins to either get disparaging remarks or a grunt.

When I have cooed and thanked over gifts like - last years christmas cracker innards .

wine, books and thats it

I spend about 300 pounds on each child...two of them.

About 50 pounds on my Mum and the same on DH.

For me, starting early is a mistake - I just go off the things that I have bought and end up buying twice or three times So these days I wait until November pay day.

I budget quite tightly. We told all our relatives some years ago that we would prefer not to exchange presents with adults any more. Most seemed relieved. Having said that, we do exchange presents with anyone we are spending Christmas Day with, and in many families that would be most adults anyway - in our case it's usually only 2.

DH and I spend £10 on each other, I spend up to £80 on one present for ds and another £30 on stocking presents for him - that's the one I find really hard to control, I loved my stocking as a child. I spend about £15 each on my four nieces and nephews, and £10 on my godchild. I have stopped joining in the Secret Santa at work. If we are seeing adults on Christmas Day I will spend about another £15 on each of them.

I spend about £30 on cards and the same on postage - I like cards and have quite a few overseas relatives, though fewer and fewer people are sending them.

I spend a total of £10 on wrapping paper, a pack of curling ribbon and sellotape (I think the really cheap stuff from the market is a false economy, but reuse wrap where I can, and always for the stocking presents).

I buy a tree for £20 - 30 and decorate the house with holly, ivy and the curling ribbon. Most years I buy a new bauble for £6 or so.

We have a food budget f £100 a week anyway - I try not to go too much over that, maybe another £40.

Last year we went to see a show in London and took nieces and nephews out - that all cost about £200 - can't afford it this year couldn't afford it last year either which I'm really sad about.

We do a Christmas charity donation of about £25.

Total £385. I'm leaving out cost of fuel though - usually travel to see at least one lot of relatives at Christmas - call that another £20.

annandale that sounds pretty similar to what we normally do - if we're at home (as opposed to spending the day with relatives), then I try not to go too much over our normal food shop. I also like to send cards, though I'm reducing down the number I send this year. I stocked up on cards cheaply in the sales last year but will spend about £30 on postage, I think.

I have some wrap stashed from sale purchases, too, so I'm currently using that up (John Lewis in particular often reduce their wrap down to about 50p a roll after Christmas, which is fab for stashing away). Plus my family often use gift bags but recycle them - it's routine to get a gift bag back that you bought for someone else five years ago and I've got quite a few to put back into circulation....

We spend quite a bit:
Adults- £30-40 each x 8= £280
Neice and nephews- £40 x4=£160
Ds and dd- £100 each=£200
Other dc I buy for- £15×5=£75
So that comes to £715 on presents. It's ds's birthday just before Christmas too so that's another expense. Last year we hosted ds's birthday (he was only two so just family but still 11 plus us to cater for), Christmas Day, get together for dp's family between Christmas and new year (that was 15 adult and 3 dc) and then there was 6 adults + 3 dc for New Year (so 3 days of entertaining). Hosting cost us a lot last year and I suspect it will be the same again this year too.

Dh & 5dcs - £100 each
Family £10 per adult (9 of them)
Dniece - £20

So total budget is £810 (including the £100 that dh spends on me). It sounds like loads but with 5 dc it will obviously be a bit higher then someone with only 1 or 2 dc.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned but I do plan extensively.

DH and I save £1000 over the course of the year and that covers all of our expenditure: presents, decorations (although we don't buy many as we've collected a lot over the years) food and a couple of nights out. The only thing it doesn't cover is our gifts to each other but we agree a budget and we stick to it.

I get cards and wrap in the January sales and if I see something in the January Sales which I have had my eye on I will snap it up - for example I bought a build it yourself stags head for a friend because I knew he'd love it, and it was half price.

I bought Christmas Jumpers and PJ's for DD - she won't care that it's last year's design

Speaking as someone who was still paying for Christmas when the next one rolled round I am less stressed nowadays because I plan. We set a budget, we stick to it, and we buy things which we know will be loved and well received.

I do wonder about people who say their adult family members will be upset if they don't get £300 worth of presents (saw that on another thread a couple of days ago) -giving a gift should be more about the thought and gesture rather than the monetary value IMHO.

DM and DF £50 each
DSIS x 2 £30 each
DNephews x 3 £40 each
DS £300
Ex's Parents £40 between then
Childminder £15
Friends kids £20 each.

Ugh no idea how I'm going to afford all this, this year 😆!

DD 250
DS 250
DH 50
Mum 15
Dad 15
Brother x2 15 each
Grandad 20
Nan and grandad 10 each
Best friends x5 £10 each
Friends kids x2 £15 between them
Teachers and ta x4 30 between them all

DH buys for his mum, 2x grandparents and brother. Don't really know what he spends on them, 50 each?

I'm sure I've forgotten someone.

I don't even want to add that all up! Never use credit cards or over draft though. I'd love to spend more on the family but can't afford to, so I don't.

I buy for 2 teenage DC's and partner....and spend about £400 on each.
I never send cards and my sole concession to decoration is a tree.
I would never get into debt......it's paid for upfront.
I hate 3 for 2 crap.

Me and DH has separate accounts plus a joint account

9 X £15 for each neice and nephew on my side = £135
£75 dm and Ddad = £150 so £285 for my side.

DH spends similar on his side but I have nothing to do with buying their gifts - he sorts them.

We buy kids stuff out of the joint account -
£20 each for Xmas hamper
£15 each stocking
£200 each approx for random gifts

Main present varies depending on what they want - it's been £80-£200 each usually but this year DD is getting a Mac computer ready for high school so it's an expensive one!!! Usually I spend £500 on each DD in total but that will inc some practical stuff too

Oh DH and I usually buy each other our Xmas day outfits 😁

I don't add it all up because I spend it in bits over a number of months.

Having said that, I try to buy things that are needed and will work out as good value for money. Dh and I don't buy for each other and I have agreements with siblings to do presents for kids only. Even then, I will check what the child may need so that what I've bought isn't wasteful.

I buy my mum and step father things that they actually need (pensioners) and don't buy random things. Have agreement with PILs that we don't get gifts other than photos which they like. They give £40 each to my kids with some chocolate which is great, given their ages now.

I have begun to dread Christmas due to the collossal waste and clutter. I know that sounds miserable but my kids are now of the age where they've received a decade's worth of toys and our house has too much stuff in it (they won't part with things easily). I see so many wasteful gift sets - packaging, only wanting some/none of the items in the set, stuff going to end up in drawers/cupboards money wasted, time wasted and each year after Christmas we tend to need to have a big clear out. The gift sets can sometimes be decent value for money but usually they aren't. I see my db and sil drowning in mountains of stuff that sil's mum gets with good intentions.

All decorations and tree are fake and therefore stored in cupboard so no cost. I take the kids out and if we see a really nice decoration or two that they like, we'll add it to the stuff we have but it will be less than a fiver so ok by me.

Am dreading it. Should be looking forward to everyone having time off and rest and being peaceful.

I love buying presents for family at Christmas. Sometimes I wonder if I should bother with the expense eg still buying for adult nieces and nephews when they don't buy for us. But there are around 28 for Christmas evening and its great giving out presents. I've decided that I get pleasure out of giving so I'm going to keep doing it. But half the fun is getting something they'll like at bargain prices. Obviously budget and get bargains throughout the year as other posters have suggested but if you enjoy it keep doing it.

DS - about £300
DD - about £150
DM - about £50
Neices/Nephews x4 - £20 each
Secret Santa - £10
DB & SIL about £50 between them

Im a SP and really need to budget, I save £20 a week into a christmas menage and it works out about £900. I absolutely love christmas, so whatever's leftover will be spent on christmas outfits for the kids and a treat for me

Hmm, this will be good for me as I've never totaled my spend!

(Aust total $)

Presents to my dh and me $100
Presents for 4 dcs $200 (but this year one will get an iPad he needs for school so don't know if that counts- we bought it already but seemed too extravagant to give without a 'reason'.
Secret Santa for two of my family members $100
2x nephews $100
Dh's patents, brother and sister $200
Ex husband and partner $50
Ex husband's ds $50
Charity drive $20
Voucher for struggling friend $100
Food for day BBQ and booze $100

Total: just over $1000. I get a holiday bonus which covers this, seems like a lot for one day but it's probably about 500 pounds so less than most spend!

I order every gift online at the beginning of December and adults get vouchers or consumables.

Oh gifts for teachers are an extra. Probably about $20 each and a shareable gift like a tray of mangos for daycare staff as there are heaps of them with a little extra gift for the main teachers.

Children £250/300ish x 3

Nephews and niece £20 x 3

Parents £10ish x3

Siblings and wives x 4 £0

Friends children £10/15 x 4

Dh and i £0

I do go slightly loopy with decorations probably a couple of hundred pounds and things like christmas eve boxes and boxing day presents which is why the childrens money is on the high side

Oh i forgot

Present for friend £20

Teachers bottle of wine x3

Hairdresser some chocolate and a bottle of wine

Think thats it

Too much tbh,

DC's - about £400 - £500 total
Parents - about £250 - £300 total
DH - agree a budget of £50 or less to try and save a bit!
Sister - £50
Nieces/nephews - £20 per child x 4
Friend's child - £10
Best friend - £30
Other friend - £20
Grandparents - £80 total
Aunties etc - £60 total
Teacher - £15

So yeah, over a grand just on presents.

i make a list on my phone of who I'm buying for, with a ball park amount of what I'd spend on them, then I add it all up and give myself a heart attack readjust a few figures. And then I work out how much I can afford to spend each month and figure out when I need to start shopping.

Underneath each name I make a list of potential gifts, and if I think of something suitable while listening to someone I pop it on my list.

I love bargain hunting but it requires a lot of discipline or it will end up very expensive. Each time I buy something I just put a bullet point beside that item and note the price. Up on top beside each persons name is the total I want to spend and in brackets beside that I put the total I've actually spent.

When I reach my limit or have bought enough I write DONE in capitals.

Because it's all in one place, and I have to keep updating it, it helps keep me on track. I find that when I buy something for, say my MIL, I keep seeing other things she would like but if I know her present is done, it stops me buying more.

I think it's also important to bear in mind that being very generous to someone can be placing them under obligation, and that it can be more genuinely generous to choose a gift that costs less to match the recipient's means iyswim. I actually kind of like the challenge of finding a thoughtful appropriate gift for less money.

I have a dear friend who sends me about £100-£150 worth of gifts each year and I know she puts time and effort and love into it, and feels very badly when other people don't make the same effort with her. I struggle to afford to reciprocate and I really wish she wouldn't be so generous. but it has made me aware that not everyone wants to exchange gifts and that's ok too. My SIL adores Christmas shopping and giving gifts and blocks all attempts by the rest of the family to scale back, and I honestly think that this isn't generosity but insensitive self-indulgence and it costs the rest of the family £££

Kids x 3 £50 each
Husband £30
Parents £20 each
SIL £20
Secret Santa £10 begrudgingly
Neighbours £10

Not much really, but I bargain hunt and make things myself so none of us miss out.