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Original poster

Do you know anyone who WOULD'NT appreciate an Oxfam gift?

127 replies

Spagblogganing · 14/12/2006 12:42

You know, those gifts of goats, medicines etc.

I am wondering whether to send a gift of 25 trees to my aunt and uncle. We never meet up with them, and I don't know them very well...

What do you think?
Anyone brave enough to admit on here that they wouldn't like it as a gift themselves?

OP posts:
WigWamBahhumbug · 14/12/2006 12:45

I'd be happy with it, but I know people who wouldn't.

If I sent it to my sister, she'd be OK with it but my mother would never speak to me again. If I sent it to my MIL she would never speak to me again (now there's a thought ... )

I've sent Oxfam Unwrapped gifts to people before, but only those I know would appreciate the sentiment. That said, for someone you don't know and never meet, I don't think I'd worry too much!

choosyfloosy · 14/12/2006 12:47

OK, this is me, in a way. But it depends on circs and the people involved. For inst, if I got one of these from my brother, I'd be fine with that because he is the most unbelievably unmaterialistic, religious and financially virtuous person I know (in a good way - hard to imagine, I know) so if he sent me one it would almost be like he was putting me on his own level, which would be quite flattering.

But this year i feel so broke (not really that terrible, just an awful lot less than ever before) and a nice pressie like a book people thought i might like, or a lippie (i have NO lipsticks at all left) or a few bath pearls or stuff that would seem not that wonderful maybe a few years ago would suddenly seem really thoughtful and lovely because life is a bit grey and full of lentils atm.

So it depends on their political beliefs (what's their attitude to organised charities? are you close? will they take it as a subtle insult?), their circumstances and your relationship.

TBH if you're not sure I'd go for Fairtrade chocolates. The gift that gives in so many ways.

PinkTinsel · 14/12/2006 12:48

i love one but most people i know wouldn't. dp's family especially.

if you don't know them too well though go for it, at least you'll feel good about the gift nd someeone will appreciate it

PinkTinsel · 14/12/2006 12:49

i'd!

LorinaLovesSprouts · 14/12/2006 13:08

Hmm I do have reservations about it.

My BIL loves oxfam unwrapped and asks for it but I wouldnt ever get it for anyone who hadnt expressed an interest .

Ideally if you are donating to charity on someones behalf perhaps you should find out which charity they want the money to go to. Otherwise its more of a present for you than for them.

EniDeepMidwinter · 14/12/2006 13:08

yes

me

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 14/12/2006 13:13

Right I think for someone you don't meet up with this is a fantastic gift. If it is a close relative/friend and you know their tastes/needs/desires then yes buy them an appropriate gift but if not this is a good idea IMO.

In our families we circulate lists of what we would like (yes I know this is cringeworthy etc) and on my Dad's list was anything from the Christian Aid equivalent of this. So I bought him a USB hub for his computer, some socks and a basketball for some African children. I have made my Aunt and Uncle a jar of chutney and bought them a can of worms off the same site.

DesperatelyUpset · 14/12/2006 13:18

I'm not really sure how I'd feel. I think I would be flattered that someone thought I would like to give to charity, but I think it is a bit of a minefield. I wouldn't give it to someone I didn't know well enough, if that makes sense.

trixymalixy · 14/12/2006 13:29

I would love this as a gift, but am happy to admit that I think if it was all I was getting for Xmas I would be a bit disappointed.

But I would much prefer it as a gift than getting chocolates or bath stuff or the usual things you buy when you don't have a clue what to get someone.

If they are the kind of people who have everything then I'm sure they would appreciate it. If they don't have a lot then maybe not.

Glitterygookwithchocsonthetree · 14/12/2006 13:31

Honestly, I wouldn't be bothered as I'm not that fussed about getting presents for myself. I'd think it was a bit odd though - I'd expect a person to suggest you do that for them instead of gifts rather than the giver just assuming.

I know my ILs would think it was odd and my Dad probably wouldn't be that chuffed either.

We all give to charity, so it's not that we are not charitable. I just think it's a bit of an odd concept.

MrsBadger · 14/12/2006 13:32

the only people I know who really wouldn't appreciate it are mates who work for NGOs and whose job it is to administer the goat etc distribution at the other end - bit of a busman's holiday for them...

Ideal for distant aunts though.

Glitterygookwithchocsonthetree · 14/12/2006 13:35

I don't see it as ideal for anyone really.

Either buy them a gift for them, or don't buy them a gift at all. There is nothing stopping you giving to charity whenever you want to but to do it on someone's behalf, especially if they haven't asked you to, is a bit off imo.

I agree with whoever else said about asking the person for the charity they'd prefer, because tbh, I'd pick a different one if I was donating.

MadamePlatypus · 14/12/2006 13:39

I think you have to know the person quite well. The problem is that the recipient is doing the 'giving' by exchanging the present they would have got for a charity donation, whereas the giver just swaps the money they would have spent on presents for money given to the charity, and gets the added benefit of choosing the charity. I think the concept would be better if it worked the other way round - if people told their nearest and dearest that this year rather than presents they would like an oxfam goat/a donation to their favourite charity.

DesperatelyUpset · 14/12/2006 13:41

Yes, if I'm honest I would think it was a bit off. Just because you don't know how much they might give to charity themselves anyway.

I really think that asking people to buy them for you is the right way to do these presents.

silverbirch · 14/12/2006 14:04

I agree with desparatelyupset - I like the idea if someone asks me what I want, and there is nothing in particular, then I can suggest they buy some trees or school books or whatever, but I don?t think it is on to give it to someone who hasn?t asked, or without consulting them first.

When I donate to charity I like to have some say over which charities I donate too. After all, as someone else said, it is the receiver of the gift who is donating, not the giver of the gift. It is like saying ?I couldn?t think what to get you so I gave a present to someone else instead without consulting you? ? ? thanks ? actually in that case I think I would prefer it if they just donated to charity on their own behalf without involving me and just sent me a standard Christmas card without worrying about presents.

It is different if someone says ?I can?t think of what to get you, would you appreciate an oxfam alpacca??, then I can say that I would prefer an oxfam goat, or twenty-five trees, or whatever, and everyone can be happy.

oranges · 14/12/2006 20:22

I agree with choosy. i'd be happy getting fair trade chocs, but think that if someone wants to give to charity, they should do so directly, not through me. but i never mind if people don't get me presents.

Mercy · 14/12/2006 20:39

My PILs.

Apparently it went down like a lead balloon. Great .

I would be absolutely fine with a gift like that. If you hardly see someone you have virtually no idea of what they would like.

I can't believe this line about they may already donate to their own favourite charity blah blah.

It's the thought that counts. Season of goodwill and all that eh? Christmas is about giving, not receiving imo.

Good choice Splagblog

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 14/12/2006 20:50

I think I'm with DU - If I wanted this, then I would ask for someone to do it for me, but to do it for someone because you want too is a bit different iyswim.

Mercy · 14/12/2006 21:01

But she hardly knows her Aunt & Uncle - it's a perfectly neutral gift.

And there's still that element of surprise.

It's a bit different if you are talking re close family or friends.

DeckTheHallsWithFRAUsOfHolly · 14/12/2006 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shazredredrobinbobbobbobbing · 14/12/2006 21:06

I wouldn't like it; it's like saying "I've given your pressie to someone else."

But perhaps I'm mean?

Seriously I wouldn't unless the person had requested you do such a thing.

WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad · 14/12/2006 21:07

However, if I didn't like someone, I would be tempted to do it just to see the look on their face. And I would make sure there was a video camera rolling somewhere to record the priceless moment. Actually that gives me ideas about some of the people in the family that I haven't bought for yet

Don't mean to make light of your dilemma though. Only you know the answer really.

oranges · 14/12/2006 21:08

Why do you need to send anything more than a card to an aunt and uncle you've never met and don't know well?

WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad · 14/12/2006 21:09

Gosh, deckthehalls, X posted you. Might have known posting something a bit cheeky would somehow end up being that tactless!

I'm sure that isn't EMIL's intention, but I totally see your point about the kids. How can they get it at that age???

oranges · 14/12/2006 21:09

meant - you never meet