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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Do you and DH agree on how many presents you give your DC?

81 replies

mootime · 09/12/2015 18:54

Dh and I had very different childhoods and very different Christmases.
My parents gave us literally likes of presents ( not all big, probably 1/2 big, 3/4 medium and tons of small as well as stocking)
Dh got stocking and 1 present from his parents (but more from other people than we did it appears.

Every year, I feel I'm being restrained and DH thinks I've over done it.
This year I'm planning on stocking plus a main present, plus 3/4 smaller presents present. Id love to then buy various other bits that are too big for stocking, but I know he will go mad ...
Does anyone else have this problem?

OP posts:

Alfieisnoisy · 10/12/2015 07:46

It's difficult as my DS has a birthday on 20the December so every year he usually gets a main present on his birthday and smaller gifts but an inexpensive main oressie for Christmas.

This year being 13 lots of the family have clubbed together with us to buy him an XBox One which he really wanted. He'd also really like a Wii U and says he will begin saving for that after Cmas. What he doesn't know is that we have bought him one. The fact that so many people have contributed to the XBox One meant there was enough in the kitty to be able to do it for him. We can never usually do two such big presents as his birthday and Xmas are so close.

I can't wait to see his face on Xmas Day.

Normally we buy him around 5-7 smaller and much less expensive gifts. And DH will usually moan that he is getting too much.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 10/12/2015 08:27

Dh always moans that they get too much and it costs too much but lots of the presents are things they need (pj, duvet covers etc), generally I spend £100 per child. I will gather bits throughout the year. However he will think nothing of randomly buying stuff throughout the year and giving them stuff. He just doesn't really do delayed gratification. Last weekend he wanted to go and buy a board game just because he wanted it there and then. I persuaded him to bump it onto dd1's Christmas pile.

LibidinousTurkey · 10/12/2015 08:31

Our gifts are labelled "Love from Mum & Papa" spider despite our somewhat unequal input.

TBH DH is quite badly dyslexic and seriously struggles with online shopping- we had an issue last weekend where he (aided and abetted by DS) tried to buy some Jo Malone perfume for my birthday. It was only after twenty minutes of huffing and puffing that they conceded defeat and asked for help

CakeNinja · 10/12/2015 08:36

Spider, I will tell dp a few of the things we've got them, the dc sit and write their Christmas list together and we both read them, so he has a rough idea.
But regarding the actual buying of presents, I do it all, I'm in when the deliveries come, I store them while everyone is out and then usually wrap when they're all out of the house too.
Much easier as they get older to just sort it all when there's an empty house.
They are all labelled from mum and dad of course.
FC does stockings and one main present here.
Then there's one main present and 10 or so tree presents from us.

It works for us, I'm a SAHM so am flexible about when I can get things done. Dp is SE and his busiest time of year is between October-Christmas so spare time when he's at home is for fun not chores! He does make a few suggestions for presents, and he takes the dc out to do shopping for me, and he goes out on his own to choose for me too, he just doesn't do the bulk of the boring bits.

Cressandra · 10/12/2015 10:43

I am familiar with that difference of opinions! However I think it's more relevant how much they get from others, than how much you both got as children. My parents spend about a tenner max on our DC, for example, my ILs tend to give them a cardi or something, and they don't have many uncles and aunties. So I feel it is up to us to provide 90%.

I do tend to think they need more, and DH thinks less, but it means he is a good devil's advocate. If I can't persuade him they "need" something, fair enough, maybe they don't. It helps that we don't have a set budget, it's more about giving them enough to see them through another year of playing & growing. Eg DD "needs" various things - a watch, a bike (second hand, offset by her old one being sold), some less babyish toys. I don't think it's spoiling her to tick all those boxes, even if together they cost close to £100. If I wanted to spunk £100 on just barbie clothes, that would be very different. I'm far too boring and sensible with my buying choices to wind DH up too much, and he is not so curmudgeonly (or strapped for cash) that he would expect her to go without toys because she's outgrown her bike and needs a watch. So we muddle through ok, near enough.

Obviously I'm not using "need" in the true sense of the word, but I hope you know what I mean.

Spidertracker · 10/12/2015 12:32

I just spoke to my mum about this thread, apparently my dad was always just as surprised on Christmas day as we were.
I had always assumed they chose together like me and DH. I've been informed that it's only us that have this obsession with doing everything together. I consider myself told.

RiverTam · 10/12/2015 12:37

We agree. Find it odd that parents buy separately for their children, how weird, don't you discuss it at all? How do you know what the other is getting? As for 'it's my money, I'll spend it how I like' there was me thinking that MN was the home of 'family money'. Bizarre.

DD gets two main presents and a load of gumf in her stocking.

bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 10/12/2015 13:03

My dds get one big present (about £60) and a couple of smaller presents plus a stocking, DH will moan about the number of presents but he will have had similar when he was a child so he can get lost :) he likes the surprises as much as the kids! We do have very generous family so they get tons but small birthday presents and nothing else the rest of the year

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 10/12/2015 16:41

River, we have joint money so it makes no odds who shops. We both like the satisfaction from retail therapy so both shop. I like it, most families I know it's only the mums who do it.

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter · 10/12/2015 16:54

We save a budget together, I spend it. DH isn't interested in what I get the DC so long as they are happy on Christmas Day (and I stay within budget ).

aprilanne · 10/12/2015 17:02

to be honest we discuss budget roughly and he just lets me get on with it .if say budget £200 per child i spend way over this but hubby has never bought a pressie in 27 years .so obviously does,nt care what i spend .i used to love seeing there faces when santa brought lots .but they only got easter birthdays and christmas .so i felt that was ok because they didnt get at any other time

lunar1 · 10/12/2015 17:12

I shop, dh discovers what everyone has got on Christmas Day!

As long as everything will fit when put away he's happy. He doesn't like clutter so I do a few eBay days in November to make sure I've space.

Grumpyoldblonde · 10/12/2015 17:23

We discuss what we are getting dd as her main present, I then choose all the stocking fillers as I have more time and I love doing it. DH will then twitch a couple of days before Christmas and go out and add a few imaginative bits and pieces I would never think of.

MTWTFSS · 10/12/2015 17:31

No! DH is a complete grinch!

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 10/12/2015 17:38

We agree. We all get 4 presents each. A main, a smaller, a book, some clothes. 4 parcels each.

oobedobe · 10/12/2015 19:41

We have a unspoken agreement not to discuss it! DH is not that into shopping, Christmas or buying the kids stuff (though he likes to see them happy on Christmas morning). Whereas I love shopping, researching presents/toys and getting a good deal. I tell him the most expensive things we are getting, but definitely don't discuss everything I have got them. He usually comments on what a lot they have got, but knows it is once a year, I feel we are generous but not OTT extravagant.

Some gifts are labelled from Santa and some from Mummy & Daddy.

I don't think DH has as fond memories as Christmas as I do (no santa etc) so maybe he just doesn't get into the spirit, we mostly do my family's traditions.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 10/12/2015 19:44

My husband has literally no idea what they are getting till the morning of Christmas. I reckon we probably both got similar amounts. He not too fussed and has never said they don't have enough or they have too much etc. All he said ever wss this year he said don't get them toys that are loads of little bits that end up all over the place and never get played with.

RiverTam · 10/12/2015 19:45

Who on earth are these men who don't buy for their children or have a clue what they're getting? Are they always so detached?

Other people are just baffling!

pretend · 10/12/2015 19:47

I do what I want.

Love being divorced

lunar1 · 10/12/2015 19:51

That's rude river, there are different ways families can do things. Dh doesn't get a massive amount of time off work. The time he's at home we prefer to do family things. Why spend that time shopping when he can take them to the park or on a bike ride.

Not being involved in present shopping does not make someone detached.

RiverTam · 10/12/2015 19:59

Not going shopping is one thing. Not even getting involved in discussing what to get your own DC is something else. I do a lot of the actual shopping but not all and of course DH is involved! She's his daughter!! He spends lots of time with her in the evenings and weekends so of course he has ideas about what to get her.

MrsDiesel · 10/12/2015 20:09

They are all from santa in our house so no labels.

mamaduckbone · 10/12/2015 20:21

My Dh buys the big presents - 1 each - and I'm responsible for stockings and the rest. I don't go overboard because we have quite a big family and Pil always bring a stack as Mil buys throughout the year. Dh usually tells me off a bit for twitching at the last minute but doesn't interfere apart from that!

VoldemortsBaubles · 11/12/2015 08:34

rivertam If Christmas was left to my DH, the dcs would receive their presents in the carrier bag they were brought home in. Either that or he would just put money in an envelope. He didn't experience the same magic of Christmas which I did so the special touches or finding a perfect little gift based on the dc interests would be lost. It doesn't make him detached. He's just better in other situations like having a jamming session with DD or watching the match with Ds.

Sharonkh76 · 11/12/2015 08:53

I start buying early. Some things he sees, some things he doesn't. It depends if I have get them out to have a look at them when he's around.
He will have a moan in mid-December about how he wanted to be involved and how I have left him out of it. However, as he is only now thinking about gifts for his older DC (DS21 and DD16) he'd have left it a bit late. (He always done his son, and I've normally done most of his DD, but she started making a statement by leaving things I'd obviously chosen at our house so he's doing her this year and I've done most of his other relatives instead to take the financial pressure off him.)

It's my savings I'm spending. However they all appear on Christmas morning from Santa. DS4 and DD2 get nothing off mum or dad (Although I tell them Santa sends me the bill).

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