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Original poster

How much do you spend on (young) nieces and nephews?

35 replies

Pobspits · 05/10/2015 23:08

We have 2 nephews and 4 nieces ranging in age from 2-9. Our own kids are just 5 and 8.

Every year I spend a different amount to my sister in law and brother - one year they spend about £8 and look aghast at us spending more so the next year we spend about that and they buy our kids loads! We've got into a vicious circle I think!

There are 4 sets of parents across the 8 (including ours) kids and tbh we are probably the least 'rich' (ie not rich at all!!) but none of us are really struggling.

I'm thinking of suggesting a budget to everyone??? Would that be a faux pas? How much do you spend on your nieces and nephews?

OP posts:
scarlets · 05/10/2015 23:21

£8-£10. The little ones get a gift, but from age 8/9 they get a cheque for a tenner (I don't like posting cash). We stop at age 18.

Pico2 · 05/10/2015 23:24

We spend £10-20, but there are only 2 of them. I'd suggest a budget and you have the advantage of being the one suggesting it, so can pitch it to your preferred amount.

Original poster
Pobspits · 05/10/2015 23:30

Hmmm see my sister and I already do £25 per child but its my brother and dh's brother who we aRe struggling with. Feel weird not giving all same amount...

OP posts:
NewLife4Me · 05/10/2015 23:31

Call them and agree an amount or type of gift.

from new bike to board game. etc.

elQuintoConyo · 05/10/2015 23:38

Last year, about £10 each on my niece and nephew (plus postage to downunder).
DH's side, about the same, and to godson. They're quite young, so usually a little Playmobil something or a Lego Star Wars figure etc.

So far this year, I have made my nephew a rucksack with hus name on it and have found a very cute pink tote for my niece for £3 with a horse picture (from Decathon; whatsapped a pic to my sister, she said niece will be beside herself Grin).

But if I were you, I'd get in contact and set a budget.

Pico2 · 05/10/2015 23:40

£25 seems loads.

ThomasRichard · 05/10/2015 23:42

£10 each, tops. Otherwise it gets ridiculous.

The little ones won't know or care about how much their gifts cost in comparison to everyone else.

attheendoftheday · 06/10/2015 01:06

We spend £10-20. Bil and sil spend a bit less on ours, but it's never felt particularly wierd to me. Everyone spends what they can afford.

Why not just decide your budget and ignore what others do?

NeverNic · 06/10/2015 07:30

We spend 20-25 for birthdays and 10-15 at Christmas on my husband's family. It's the same for godchildren and we spend c5-8 on the few friend's of the family we buy for. We also normally agree a budget for adults presents doing secret santa for ohs family and shared couple presents for mine. I don't think you need to be embarrassed. It needs to be sensible.

SWFARMER · 06/10/2015 07:32

Used to spend £30 each but only have 3 nephews. Also ones birthday Xmas eve so that made it pricey.

Just bought my first house so now lowering to £20 each

Sadik · 06/10/2015 08:36

I'd say £10 to £20 depending - so generally more like £10, but if I saw something perfect I'd spend more.

TBH I'm cautious mostly I don't want to set a precedent the other way round - SiL/BiL have two littlies, childcare costs, just got a mortgage etc whereas we're older & lucky that we're past that stage.

SideOrderofChips · 06/10/2015 08:38

£10-15 RRP range but it never costs me that much

NewMrsX · 06/10/2015 08:42

£25 for the nephew on my side, £10 for the niece on dhs side. Just different expectations from each side of the family. Dhs do more token gifts to each other, my family do bigger gifts.

fieldfare · 06/10/2015 08:42

I don't buy for my older niece and nephew as rarely see them.
Dh's side there are 4 nieces ranging from 10 down to due any day newborn. I spend about £25 each on them. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less if I see something perfect.

LikeSilver · 06/10/2015 08:43

£15. The older ones get a £15 gift card so I spend the same on the little ones.

PurpleDaisies · 06/10/2015 08:43

Usually about £10. We had a chat and agreed an upper limit a few years ago and it was a bit uncomfortable but really worth it because everyone knows where they are and don't feel under pressure to spend too much.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 06/10/2015 09:27

Nothing really. I only have three nieces and nephews and one of them is my godchild. I send her a present and two token joke presents to her siblings.
I send all of them decent individual presents for their birthdays.

My whole family does this and has done so from when I was a small child. We have a huge extended family and it would have cost a small fortune for my parents to send gifts out to everyone. So they sent gifts to their godchildren only and a box of biscuits or similar to the family. I can remember the year of Live Aid when the adults got together and put a stop to it with a group consensus on policy rather than budget. Luck of the draw if you had a well off god parent Grin, though they usually kept it moderate.

Kids get presents from Santa, godparents, parents and grandparents as it is. That's more than enough for any child.

I am Shock when I hear people talking about spending literally hundreds of pounds on what amounts to tat [£10 or so a pop]. What a total waste of money. though I suppose it keeps Boots in business at Christmas We did a secret santa as soon as we all hit our teens so I only ever had to buy a present for one of my immediate family which was brilliant. Can't persuade DH's family to do it so still have one pressie to buy for my family and one each for his but I make it his problem.

Good friends with kids of a similar age have started to send gifts to ours for Christmas. Need to nip that in the bud this year Grin I just don't think its right, whatever the respective incomes [which vary wildly] of the gift giver. Our kids just don't know who gave them what and there are so many children who get nothing at all. The contrast is just obscene especially when you consider the situation in Syria

Original poster
Pobspits · 06/10/2015 09:45

attheendoftheday maybe I will just buy what I want and leave everyone else to do what they want - I mean it doesn't really matter if what they buy is more or less value to what I buy does it or we may as well just keep the money ourselves!

We only buy for one other child who isn't technically our Godson but basically that's how we think of him or as an extra nephew.

I agree I'm not buying for friends kids generally. We had kids first amongst our friends so quite. Few bought for them when they were tiny but now they're starting to have their own kids that it's starting to stop iyswim?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pobspits · 06/10/2015 09:46

That last sentence made no sense sorry

OP posts:
AndLeavesthatweregreenturnedto · 06/10/2015 10:00

My girls are only N and N in family on both sides.

They have had zilch to about £5 from aunts on both sides.

My own DSIL who lives abroad over years has sent more ( not loads)

ShesAStar · 06/10/2015 10:07

I only have one niece and one nephew and we are a close family, I spend about £45 on each. Some years it might be a bit or or a bit less but around that amount. I spend about £10 on my cousins children.

CurrerBell · 06/10/2015 10:14

I have one niece and one nephew, on DH's side - we spend £25 each on them for birthdays and Christmas, and SIL and BIL do the same for our two kids. This was agreed a few years ago and works well.

We don't buy presents for the adults at Christmas though - DH's family have a 'secret santa' type thing. We all have wish lists so no money is wasted on unwanted tat, thankfully!

PatriciaHolm · 06/10/2015 10:16

About £15-20; we have 10 nieces and nephews!

Datschi · 06/10/2015 12:01

We spend around £8-£10 on nieces, nephews and Godchildren, but I would perhaps spend a bit more if I saw something perfect. Probably not more than £15.

£5-ish on a couple of close friends' children.

I've no idea what the others spend on us, I think it is roughly similar though.

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 06/10/2015 12:04

I have one DNeph (DSis DS) who's almost 6. He'll get about £40 spent on him, and I'm taking him and DDs to Build A Bear.

DNiece (SILs DD) is 3 and she gets around £40. We'll be taking her to Build A Bear from next year.

We have 4DCs and they get £10-15 each spent on them by DSis and SIL so we feel it evens it out.