Do you still spend Christmas at your parents'?

[Bonywasawarriorwayayix]

I'm curious and daren't post this on general Chat yet.
DH and I have been alternating Christmas at respective parents' houses for the last 12 years. Now we have DS and I'm pregnant with DC2 I've had enough of it and really want to spend it in my own home and start our own Christmas traditions.
It doesn't help that we have to travel 6 hours to see my lot. DSis seems happy with it (she has a DP and DS) but I think after this Christmas I'm going to suggest other arrangements e.g. they come to us some years.
So, what do other people do? I'm basically after reassurance that I'm not being a horrible person for wanting a change

We alternate between my DM's house (10 hour flight, so usually about two weeks there) with my sisters and staying home and hosting MIL, BIL, SIL and family. At home we do morning and presents on our own, then the ILs descend on us for lunch.

This year is DM's year and MIL is coming too.

Everyone comes to me, parents, siblings, siblings in laws, aunts uncles cousins and their families (not as bad as it sounds as it's not a massive family), if things change and people for any reason can't make it as is the case this Christmas then it's understood and there is no pressure put on them. Christmas is about family, being together, celebrating. We've not always done it this way, Christmas in the past has been celebrated in various ways but for now this works for us, for the wider family and for the children, though there is only 1 now who is young enough for the whole magic of Santa the others seem to enjoy making it as magical for her as they can. I think my children would riot if I suggested christmas on our own as they enjoy seeing the rest of the family.

We go to my parents every year (ils live in Australia, my lot live down the road)
Parents get to us for 6am on christmas morning to open presents with DD they go home and then we go round to them at about 12
Brother also comes round for dinner but he doesn't do the 6am stuff!
My parents love cooking/hosting and we always have a lovely time.

I have spent Christmas at home and with family and last year spent it at home so my family came.

I live in the same city as my family and in laws so this is relatively easy for me to say but Christmas is about family and I don't just mean your own family. Its one day a year when having children around adds such joy and I just can't imagine leaving grandparents on their own.

We always take quite an Italian type of approach to these things - all generations together, lots of cousins and the oldest are generally treated like absolute royalty - feet up, drinks on a tray etc. We find that this brings great joy and is in the absolute spirit of the season.

With regards to playing with toys for the day, toys dont go off and find that they are more interested in them in the days between Xmas and New Year.

Well we have always alternated between my dad's and my inlaws. At my dad's my brother and his kids would be there, my grandad (mums ex stepfather) and my other brother every second year which coincided with when we went and initially my stepmum. She sadly passed away almost six years ago and so it kind of changed things and my inlaws came to my dad's one year when he was going to be alone as my brothers weren't there.

Hes got a new partner now and we hardly see him. Every weekend is spent with her family. She also got rid of his big massive dining table that fitted us all and her adult kids will be there (were last year) which would mean our kids would need to go in another room which is rubbish. Iv not even met her son and only met her daughter once so don't particularly want to spend xmas with strangers. One of my brothers went last year and hated it and said he didn't feel like he was in his childhood home as they took over and he felt out of place. So he isn't going again. My other brothers just had his first baby and wants to spend it at home as he stays two hours away. My mil has been very ill for two years now and is just going through radiotherapy in a couple of weeks which will hopefully help her so we want to spend it with her either way. Think we will just spend it with them every year from now on. They are much older and my DH understandably wants to be with them. My dad will be happy without us there.

I'd actually quite like to spend it at home just us one year but can't see that happening soon.

We used to travel yearly, and still did our first 2 as a married couple. But we live 250 miles from "home" - which are 15 miles apart. PIL eat at lunch on Christmas Day, and my DPs in the evening. So we had pressure to stay in both and eat in both constantly. We got over the staying (eventually got on to renting a cottage for ourselves, and now including DD, any Christmas we go down - although we stay in PILs most times during the year, my DPs house tends to be full usually). But really struggled with being forced to eat 2 turkey dinners on the day (and it was always "we know you're eating elsewhere, but have a small bit to keep us company" while the plates were piled high!!).

So even before DD was on the scene, we were having some years just ourselves in our own house. Nowadays, we almost always stay here. We were last "down home" 2 years ago, but have already made the decision to stay put again this year. We do visit both houses over the Christmas break (often my DPs at their holiday house for their traditional New Year gathering, and to PIL before or after that as a long trip around the country).

Most of my siblings still go home. One lives abroad and doesn't come for Christmas (small DCs). The others who were abroad over the years were still mobile and tended to come home. Last year, 1 had a relatively new DC so didn;'t travel transatlantic and won't again this year (they did travel the previous year as 1st of married life).

We have another newly married couple this year - will be interesting to see what happens. And another wedding due next year but the 2 families are further apart (so can't quite do what we did - but could potentially visit both on the day).

On ILs side, there is a 2nd DC living right next door with DGCs, and the 3rd lives away also (newly married and no DCs yet) but does go "home" for Christmas. And an elderly DB of MIL to be cared for living in Granny flat on PIL house.

I keep hoping that we can host some year - but there is no chance of either family coming to us at the moment. Maybe in another few years.

We alternate between both sets of parents. Oh keeps threatening to invite people to us, but I can't think of anything worse. There's too many and muggings here will end up doing all the work while he 'hosts' with the bottle of wine.

We had it at ours for the first time last year and will continue to do so now. Mum was delighted not to have to cook for the first time in years!

Yes. But mum lives around the corner, so she comes mid morning to open her presents with the children and dinner. Then she will go home when she had enough of us .

We see Dh family on Boxing day as I refuse to cart our children around, but also he now prefers our christmas as we have a very relaxed day. We get when we do, lunch is done when it's cooked and presents our opened when they are opened.

His mum is very more regimented lunch is at 2pm (we are not to arrive before 1pm) we will all sit and eat for at least 2 1/2 hours then all the clearing must be done before presents can be opened. By which time all the young children are tired/bored and not interested at all.

clutter I feel your pain, the regimented thing is such a bore!

In a prev relationship we alternated but we never had kids. In this relationship we have a very elderly parent on his side MIL and whilst she annoys the wotnot out of me I couldn't not invite her for Christmas as if she didn't come to us then she would be on her own eating a chicken leg for Christmas dinner! She is as def as a post, hogs the best seat in the house and the telly and brings weird gifts for me and her Son but generally just about OK ones for DD. We do feel tied - this year we would like to go away but don't think it will happen, my parents I see usually before hand, but I have 5 siblings with various nieces and nephews and partners etc so they aren't lonely but I do feel they have missed out on having DD over for Christmas Day itself. But you can't please all the people all the time

This will be my first year of not spending Christmas at my parents' house. Even last year, we did Christmas morning at home but then went to my parents in the evening. This year, we're spending the whole Christmas period at home, DP, DD and I, and family are coming to visit us instead a few days after Christmas. I think it'll be harder on my parents than on us, the first time in 21 years without me there at Christmas!