Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Do you still spend Christmas at your parents'?

62 replies

Bonywasawarriorwayayix · 29/09/2015 19:43

I'm curious and daren't post this on general Chat yet.
DH and I have been alternating Christmas at respective parents' houses for the last 12 years. Now we have DS and I'm pregnant with DC2 I've had enough of it and really want to spend it in my own home and start our own Christmas traditions.
It doesn't help that we have to travel 6 hours to see my lot. DSis seems happy with it (she has a DP and DS) but I think after this Christmas I'm going to suggest other arrangements e.g. they come to us some years.
So, what do other people do? I'm basically after reassurance that I'm not being a horrible person for wanting a change

OP posts:

Septembersunrays · 29/09/2015 20:55

its totally natural to want to start your own family xmas in your own home.

its been said tons of times on these boards.

its not possible to make such long jounreys when have small dc.

Secondtimeround75 · 29/09/2015 21:00

We stopped travelling once kids were old enough for Santa.

We do Christmas at home and have someone every second year.

tictactoad · 29/09/2015 21:02

We used to alternate Christmas Day and Boxing Day with my parents and MIL. We are now NC with MIL so don't have to factor her in. My parents living nearby have come to us for years now but they cook the turkey/sausages/gravy and we do the rest.

They're not allowed to cross the threshold before 1pm and they leave around 7/8pm so we get a fair whack of the day and evening to ourselves.

Should add DBro has never had them and never offers

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/09/2015 21:12

Yeah always with the parents. Lots of siblings + parents have a big house + I'm a lone parent with one DC + ex doesn't celebrate Christmas so doesn't mind = always at the parents! One db alternates ours and his ILs but they don't have kids yet. I suspect they will carry on as usual when they do as we all love it as it is. Another bro has a DP and baby but her family are not in the uk so they come too, and the last db is young and unattached so obviously.

PesoPenguin · 29/09/2015 21:17

We do a bit of everything as we all live close together. We're having a Christmas Eve party at ours this year with my sis, bil, sil and all the kids. Then we'll go to sil's on Xmas morning for breakfast ( mil & fil will be there too). We'll have Xmas dinner just the 3 of us at tea time then on Boxing Day all my family are coming to us.

elQuintoConyo · 29/09/2015 21:23

We would go to our own parents' for Christmas before we got married, mine are in a different country, DH's in the next village.

Then we had DS and stayed. He is a December baby. DF came 4 days after he was born for a long weekend. DM came for 3 weeks, all through Christmas into January and didn't lift a frickin finger. Needless yo say she hasn't been back.

The following year, DMil was unexpectedly in hospital, so we stretched our food to feed DFil, DSil and DBil, too. Otherwise they were going to go for a Chinese

Since then those ILs have always come to us, DSil brings dessert. It is very laid back and friendly, and we all go for a big walk as well. DS loves it!

My other DSil could host, she lives in the same town, but her DP is an asshat, so ILs prefer coming to us

goblinhat · 29/09/2015 21:34

Not since having kids.

I wanted my own christmas traditions in my own home.

Hanging their stocking up on christmas eve, and being at home on christmas morning.
Kids don't want to be travelling on christmas day- leaving most of their new toya at home.

For me christmas is all about the kids. Grown uo have to fit around that.

Misty9 · 29/09/2015 21:46

We stayed at home last year for our first Christmas as a family of four - and it was incredibly hard work! With only dh and I to do the cooking and occupy the kids, inevitably it meant that neither of us got a break, and ds struggles with days like Xmas and birthdays so has at least a couple of meltdowns. For us, more adults = more people to play with the kids and more likelihood we'll get a breather

That said, we've got two sets of divorced parents so the logistics of where to go are complicated; we're trying my dads this year but it will no doubt be problematic in a different way thanks to his wife
I'm looking forward to what the dc are a bit older and Christmas can be at home and a chill out day!

derektheladyhamster · 29/09/2015 21:56

We travel 100 miles on Xmas morning to either my mum's or Mil's. We've done it every year since we were married. All the family live close to them so it makes sense. Plus the fact we have no room to put anyone up on our house. We love Xmas, and the kids don't mind opening presents & leaving about 10am to travel.

goblinhat · 29/09/2015 22:00

You travel 100 miles on xmas morning with kids?

Sounds like hell.

Ragwort · 30/09/2015 07:32

The saddest thing I ever read was when the DH and DW went 'home' separately to their own parents because neither of them could face Christmas without their own parents or the idea of hosting it themselves . I sincerely hope I don't become one of 'those' mothers who expects her grown up child to come 'home' at Christmas. I am looking forward to all sorts of different experiences when DS has left .

ArthurChristmas · 30/09/2015 08:09

I'm so glad it's not just me. We used to do both sets of parents, travel to one for a few days and then move to the next. It was very hard work and DD was very ill so we agreed to change to alternate Christmas at alternate parents. Last year DMIL came to us and it was brilliant.

On paper it's my parents turn this year. We have been fighting this year that we only see my family if we travel, no-one ever comes to us. We have the youngest children, the busiest jobs. I am thinking of suggesting they come to us but I reckon it will be rejected. I'm left accused as the one that ruins Christmas.

ShowOfHands · 30/09/2015 09:11

goblinhat

*Kids don't want to be travelling on christmas day- leaving most of their new toya at home.

For me christmas is all about the kids. Grown uo have to fit around that*

I think you make the classic mistake of assuming what you think or do applies to everybody. I don't doubt that what you do is right for you. My children absolutely love travelling on Christmas Day. We pack up the car with lovely smelling food and a couple of their favourite toys. We sing carols and tell stories and they look forward to seeing a whole host of people who absolutely love them. They then get to come home to the other presents and play with them. It works perfectly for us.

For me, Christmas is all about family. Nobody has to fit around anybody else here.

goblinhat · 30/09/2015 09:13

I still would rather have a family day at home than sitting in a car for 200 miles on christmas day.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 30/09/2015 09:16

No. Once we had our second we stayed at home. We are happy to welcome pretty much as many as want to come to us, but we ain't going anywhere!

ShowOfHands · 30/09/2015 09:17

Of course goblin.

Nobody is disputing that. That's what is right for you and your family. You just have to be careful when you say that children don't want to do certain things or that they're not enjoyable.

FWIW, I probably wouldn't travel that far on Christmas Day either. I'm lucky that my family is closer. When we were further apart, I made the journey the day before and stayed until Boxing Day.

JustRosieHere · 30/09/2015 09:18

We used to alternate between ILs and DMs. Once DD was 3 we started having it at home but traveling to parents in the morning to swap presents. Now we have two DCs we stay at home all day. People are welcome to pop round if they like but they usually don't. We live about 20 miles from parents so we would have to drive and I don't want to rush the kids to open their gifts then leave them all so we can get there and back in time for lunch.

goblinhat · 30/09/2015 09:19

Nothing can convince me that travelling 200 miles on christmas day with kids is a fun idea- however many carols you may sing.

contractor6 · 30/09/2015 09:19

Patents live 4 hours away. I go every other year to coincide with db and family, then the other year my parents come to me, dh parents dont tend to-do a big Christmas so makes it easier. I have invited pil for the alternate years anyhow.

derektheladyhamster · 30/09/2015 09:19

It only take 1.5 hrs and we stay the night before traveling to the next set of parents. It spreads the presents out, so some first thing in the morning, some at midday with g parents & aunts/uncles & cousins, the rest on boxing day with more extended family. We don't have the room to accommodate the family, this way we get to see everyone. I can't think of anything sadder, personally, than being on our own at xmas. Plus I'd rather travel and rock up to a lovely meal than have to cook it myself!

BrandNewAndImproved · 30/09/2015 09:20

The one Christmas I stayed at home with the dc and didn't visit anyone was shit. The day was great with the dc, it was so nice not rushing everywhere and dc could play with all their presents with no pressure as we had to be at whoevers by 12oclock but the evening once they had gone to bed was rubbish. I felt so lonely on my own. If I had a dh to finish off the baileys with while watching Christmas telly I would of probably loved it.

ShowOfHands · 30/09/2015 09:22

goblinhat, it's your choice to be disparaging about somebody else's Christmas. It's quite rude though. Not particularly, um, Christmassy shall we say? Do you make a habit of calling people liars? You don't need to be 'convinced' anyway. Easier to accept that other people do things differently.

derek, I agree. I would feel very sad not to see my family at Christmas and we don't have the room either.

Septembersunrays · 30/09/2015 09:26

You just have to be careful when you say that children don't want to do certain things or that they're not enjoyable

Agree, you also have to be careful that dc can simply be programmed to expect things, so for instance, if all they have ever known is being packed in a car on xmas day its disingenuous to say they love it.

To truly say they love it they would have had to have equal experience of both, staying at home and traveling to then see which they prefer!

Septembersunrays · 30/09/2015 09:28

I can't think of anything sadder, personally, than being on our own at xmas

Thats wonderful but one has to remember not everyone has a lovely family to visit, which is ideal.

Christmas for many is fraught with family problems, tensions, people who have deeply hurt people but feel obliged to see at xmas.

Snausage · 30/09/2015 09:29

I moved out of mum's place 4 years ago. Christmas has always been "at home" (mum, 2 brothers and me) since GPs on both sides, and my dad died when we were kids. Last year was the first year that was different, and they came to me! DS was 3 months old, so packing everything up would've been a nightmare. Mum's place is too small for us to stay.

This year I have booked a room for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the local pub, just a 5 minute walk away. DP, DS and I will head down on Christmas Eve and head home on Boxing Day. Oldest brother is terminally ill and on oxygen and it would be too much for them to cart oxygen cylinders over (we leave 45 minutes away. Not far, but far enough). I'm sure DP's mum would love us to go there for Christmas, but my brother is a priority. Also, I don't like her.

Flip

1 2 3