Good Lord, I've just received an e-mail from a friend with a link to her Christmas present wishlist

[WhizzBangCaligula]

Is this normal? Is the mania for control-freakery about presents extending from weddings to christmas and birthdays? Will it one day be bad manners to buy a gift spontaneously for someone, without checking their wishlist first?

FFS, am I just a terrible old fart who ought to get over it?

Cheeky!I am over 10 and love xmas but have no interest in presents for myself and think they are for children.I just love the decorations and holly and lights and the parties etc.Buying stuff is the worst thing about it.

WelshBoris - shouldn't that be 'Hee bloody haw'?

Hee Haw Hee Haw

I used to think lists were really cheeky, but having amassed more and more un-needed stuff at Christmas over the years (mostly from my mum, admittedly), I would prefer to use a list to get/give something which is wanted and needed, rather than contribute any more to the glut of spending for spending's sake.

That said I would only send the list to family or friends I'd talked about it with - and if I do discuss it with friends it tends to be an agreement that we just won't buy for each other at all.

my sil is a bitch and shops for food at m&s

for christmas i used to spend bout £20 on her and gift would be in the charity shop by new year

so only buy her kids now (last year got my niece polly pocket fair ground £50 it was in charity shop in feb cause sil said it had too many bits)

got them a book each this year and i'm taking them to the panto

dmo - sounds like my sil! Mind you, I sometimes food shop at M&S and I'm a very nice person, honest! Great idea to take her kids for a treat - that keeps everyone happy.

Thats just soooo tacky!!! Is a copy of Debrett's on it?

Only usually buy her a present because we spend some part of christmas together either at mine or hers (christmas day or boxing day)

Reply saying "thank you for the list but I'm not sure I will be able to buy for friends this year due to unforeseen financial obligations."

Make her feel guilty without being nasty!

I just so WOULD NOT be able stop myself from responding in some way to make her realise that you just can't to this.. it's not appropriate behaviour!!

A friend of mine, godmother to one of my DTs asked me what the DTs would like for Christmas, didn't want to be too specific so I gave her a list of books and emailed her my Letterbox wishlist for them, which was set up for family/friends who kept asking. I found it v convenient tbh

But that's a million miles away from what Caligula's friend has done EarlyBird! Wish lists of children for relatives and friends are a good idea! Sending out one for yourself to your adult friends is not!!

fortyplus
i shop at m&s sometimes but not all the time

dh comes from a wealthy family and sil married into family as i did but she came off a council esaste (nothing wrong with that btw) to a single parent familt and her mum was 15yr old

she is pretending to be something is isnt thats what gets my goat

I had a massive fall our with my db last year after he sent me an Xmas list. Personally I think its hardly the spirit of the thing is it. he took offence and told me he was trying to stop me wasting the cash, but i still think its not on....

It's ok to write a list when you are 10 years old, but when you are an adult...and for friends....WTF!!??

We all get Tat that we don't want every year, but should just learn to be enthusiastic, smile sweetly and say thank you.

Personally I have a rule of no xmas presentw with my sibilings now. I buy for my nieces and nephews and they buy for my kiddies, but I don't think that at our age we need to be exchanging presents...

everyone's different though...