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Christmas

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Original poster

How do you deal with birthdays close to christmas?

75 replies

tinytotmummy · 12/11/2006 20:33

My dd will be 2 on New Years Day, and although this year I know she won't completely understand, I just wondered how to manage the whole present thing with so much in one week? Is there anyone with any good tips as to what I could do in the future, and also is it a terrible thing to buy a joint birthday and xmas present? What happens with parties when they get older? Any tips/advice would be great

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VanillaMilkshake · 12/11/2006 20:48

My DC2 is due December 9th. my Friends son is Dec 12. We both feel two clearly defined lots of gifts celebrations are needed, and certainly no using Christmas wrapping for birthday presents.

Slightly easier before Christmas is that friend doesnt put up the decorations until after her DS b'day. Am planning to do the same, but depends just when my bump decides to make an appearance

Frizbe · 12/11/2006 20:58

BIL's Bday is on Xmas Day, we have to say happy birthday 1st and do birthday things 1st

Bienchen · 12/11/2006 20:59

My DS birthday is 4th Jan. For the last few years, we have had just a small family party on his birthday and than a party for his friends a bit later - usually end of month or about a week before half term. It has worked out very well, as there's no present overkill, he still feels special on his birthday (balloons, his favourite dinner, a cake, etc). What's good enough for the Queen ....

noonar · 12/11/2006 21:01

my 2 nieces have december bdays. always give sep present and travel down 2hrs each way for 2 sep parties within 2 weeks of xmas. bloody nightmare, and the worse thing is, its the same every year...lol

jan 2 seems quite convenient by comparison!

noonar · 12/11/2006 21:03

ps this year they are having a joint party for the first time ever. they'll be 3 and 6.

jan is ok, cos once LO is at school, you could have a party in the second week of jan, once the schools go back. this would guarantee sep pressies and brighten up the start to the new term.

softmusk · 12/11/2006 21:04

thanks i was about to start a thread like this my dd2 will be one on xmas day feel bad we wont do the big 1st birthday thing on the day like did with dd1 but rest off family busy as xmas day really not sure how to handle it want to make it special cus its xmas but want her to feel special cus it her 1st birthday

Olihan · 12/11/2006 21:23

Ds's b'day is New Year's Eve (he'll be 3), my b'day is 23rd Dec and dh's b'day is 6th Jan. Dc3 is due 26th Dec so it's going to be fun and games for our family for that fortnight .

We take the view that birthdays are more important than Christmas so major presents are given for birthdays and more token presents for christmas. I don't think joint presents are a bad thing, but it's more difficult when the b'day comes after christmas as they end up with fewer birthday presents but I guess that depends on which day you see as more significant!

Ds had his 1st and 2nd birthday parties on the first weekend after new year with just family for the actual day itself. This year we're doing it at the beginning of dec because of dc3's arrival.

One really good tip that I read on here was to ask people to give money or vouchers for one or other present so that you can buy things that they need in the middle of the year, and avoid the huge present influx at Christmas. I think when they're little it's a really good way of spreading it out.

Original poster
tinytotmummy · 12/11/2006 21:26

Thankyou for all the suggestions Like the idea of having a party when term starts - don't think think I could ever deal with a kids party on new years day! Softmusk, difficult to seperate the two when they land on the same day - I hope you can find something that works. You just want it to be special for them and for them not to feel as if they've missed out, don't you? Also find friends and family tend to treat birthdays around xmas as a second thought, as too busy with xmas itself - for instance MIL asked me what dd would like for xmas, but didn't mention her birthday!

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aweebitgross · 12/11/2006 21:30

My dd's is xmas eve and ds's is 27th dec! dd will be 5 and ds will be 2. For the past few years dd got a lot of stuff on xmas eve for her birthday and then more on xmas day for xmas... all far far too much at once, and was very overwhelming for her. This yr my sister asked me if I minded her buying my children their borthday gifts in October as they must feel like they miss out throughout the year, she give them their gifts on a day she came over for a visit and my dd was delighted.. and she understand that was her birthday gift, only it wasn't her birthday!
This yr also MIL has asked if we would mind if she just give dd and ds clothes for their birhtday and a small toy for xmas, and then they want to buy them a bog thing for outside in the summertime for their birthday... Why would I mind??? lol It's hard all at once, and maybe unfair as some people tend to give them one gift and say "Happy xmas and birthday".. which isn't fair seeing as all the cousins have xmas and birthday gifts.. not that it's about gifts, well not for me, but for 5yr old dd it really is

aweebitgross · 12/11/2006 21:32

Last yr we had a joint 1st and 4th bday party for our kids, a week before xmas. Also will be handy to have a joint 18th and 21st

sleepfinder · 12/11/2006 21:32

My birthday is 6 days before xmas, my mother's 5 days and my father's New Yr's Day.

They used to buy a bunch of things and split the pile in two - half for birthday, half for xmas.

now that I'm over 30 I'm grateful that my birthday is near Xmas as people are prone to forget it...

flibbertyjibbet · 12/11/2006 21:33

I was just about to start a thread on this very subject! DS1 birthday 18th Dec. Had a party last year that lots cried off from as they were 'xmas shopping' or visiting relatives. Not having a party this year but next year when he is 3 the guests will be old enough for their mums to leave them for a while so we will be very popular as the xmas shopping chreche... Did very separate xmas and birthday last year and intend to do the same always. DPs brother is same day and fil 26th dec so their side are used to it. Am racked with guilt as for years I gave my sister (14th Dec) joint birthday and xmas pressie . My cousins birthday is 25 Dec we always give separate pressies, the family do her birthday thing in the morning with cake and birthday type things, xmas pressies in the eveing, then do the full xmas dinner on boxing day. I think my auntie likes to do that as it avoids any arguments over where they will be spending xmas day!

flibbertyjibbet · 12/11/2006 21:35

Bit of a hijack I know, but what a pain trying to find nice birthday cards in December. Or birthday invitations. Not to mention the trauma that DP had knowing he would have to come to the hospital for visiting and tell me that he couldnt' find any birth announcement cards in our card shop!!!!!

noonar · 12/11/2006 21:35

awe, yours sound like my nieces' situation. they are the 10th- not so bad- and 28th. they no have a new babt, born in june, to balance it out1 it's not easy, is it!

noonar · 12/11/2006 21:37

baby, i meant. sorry for typos!

Toothyboy · 12/11/2006 21:37

Mine is 21st Dec - have always expected separate presents! Except for the teenage years when I wanted expensive things so asked for joint presents! You might find this useful in years to come.

Also, buy birthday cards much earlier in the year - 90% of birthday card stock is put away to make room for the Christmas stuff - I always get crap cards! And as VanillaMilkshake said - no Christmas wrapping paper for birthday pressies!

brimfull · 12/11/2006 21:41

my dd birthday is on new years eve.She will be 15 .It's a crap time to have a birthday,but for years we've been telling her it'll be good when you're old enough to go to a party as there will always be one on your birthday.Only a few more years to go!
We always give seperate presents.I think she does get a load of crap gifts from people ie.things they have been given that they don't want.People definately forget .On the other hand the sales are usually on so that's a plus.
I have a friend whose dd has a december b'dy and they celebrate it in june.We thought about this but decided against as we couldn't just ignore her real b'day.I suppose you could have a friends party in summer and family on real day.But age would get confusing then.
One good thing is that dd is always off school on her b'day.She enjoys that now but not so much when younger .

Original poster
tinytotmummy · 12/11/2006 21:43

I bought cards for dd in september, as according to the card shops you're not supposed to have birthdays over the xmas period, or indeed to expect to receive a nice card!!

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softmusk · 12/11/2006 21:44

yeh i have gone and brought dd2 cards and wrapping paper as it hard to buy near xmas alway have problem getting dh a nice one and his is on the 15th of dec

trying2bgood · 12/11/2006 21:46

My birthday is on xmas eve! And I have to say that until I was about 21 I really resented the fact I got joint gifts esp when it was obvious they spent no more than if it was just for xmas! I would definitely not give joint presents unless like someone else mentioned it is an expensive item they want, I always preferred two 'cheap' presents as it felt like my birthday was being acknowledged and not overlooked by xmas! So I guess what I am saying is that make sure you make a clear distinction between birthday and xmas! I am now older and don't bother with my birthday very much which has solved the whole presents issue!!!!

granarybeck · 12/11/2006 21:46

Ds went to his friend's birthday party today even though his actual birthday is 21 dec. Apparently the friend's birthday is also week before christmas.

rustybear · 12/11/2006 21:47

Ds was born 28th December & we have only once given a joint present, when DS specifically asked for a very expensive item. We celebrate the the birthday as normal except that we usually had his party later, as so many of his friends went away for christmas.

rustybear · 12/11/2006 21:49

I have the card problem too, only double as DD's birthday is 17th feb - so the xmas cards have been replaced by Valentine's!

Original poster
tinytotmummy · 12/11/2006 21:51

I had bought dd a kitchen as a joint pressie, but after all your posts, have just realised I have only spent same on that as ds is getting just for xmas (his birthday is in sept). Obviously I have more shopping to do....and I hate shopping

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Steppy1 · 12/11/2006 21:53

DS is on 4th January, so still within 12th night...funny really it kind of rolls on from christmas, we put the decorations up, have christmas, then big birthday party to celebrate his birthday, then take the decorations down..He loves it...... DD is just a month lady (i was obviously receptive to conecpetion during the summer !!!)

Funny that when I was pregnant with DS it didn't seem so on top of Christmas at all........