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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Which bit of "please come for 3 nights" do they not get?

72 replies

threebob · 14/10/2006 17:22

Dh's sister is coming over for New Year (to NZ from UK). She will stay with PIL for first week, then we are taking her away to a 3 bedroom holiday home - which we have booked for a week. She is staying a week and then meeting a friend and going on for another week somewhere else with friend.

We invited PIL to visit for "a weekend", saying we wanted some time with SIL on her own as well.

Then they start talking about coming for a week - and I patiently (and bluntly) say "you are welcome (to come)for 3 nights".

We are staying for a fortnight and no way am I spending half of that with FIL and his favourite bible.

OP posts:

bababoo · 23/10/2006 10:26

aaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh why are inlaws so difficult??? You can never say no and when you do they don't listen! Do they know the power they hold?

sorry for rant....

Original poster

threebob · 26/10/2006 08:54

FIL had to have it spelt out for him that BIL is not invited - where did he think we were going to put him?

OP posts:

Sophiev73 · 26/10/2006 09:02

What is it about NZ , relatives and Bibles??? I've just ranted on about a similar situation on another thread... Some advice I got there was to agree in advance, in writing, what was going to happen, print it out and stick it on the wall and send everyone a copy... A bit hyper-organised for me, but it does have the advantage of being crystal clear!!

Hope your holiday is indeed that and not just waiting around for the crap to start...

bloodysideup · 26/10/2006 09:34

threebob, just had to post as I am in exactly the same situation when we visit my in-laws....you have described it SO spookily well "endless pointless sitting around" and a young child desperate to get their attention!

My in-laws must be clones for yours...they will give DS about five minutes of attention then basically what they want to do is sit on the sofa and talk about themselves.

My advice for what it's worth - cancel the whole bloomin holiday.

Original poster

threebob · 26/10/2006 18:52

My PIL sit around and talk about dead people and nearly dead people.

OP posts:

RoxyNotFoxy · 27/10/2006 16:29

From the bible incident it looks like FIL likes to sleep late. Solution lies with ds. If he's only 3 he'll be up for anything. Buy him toy drum and bugle. Tell PILS he needs to "express himself". Get him up at 6.00 every morning and encourage him to practise, not forgetting to provide yourselves with ear-plugs. Do this every day without fail... If PILS stay more than two nights I'm a monkey's uncle.

Original poster

threebob · 27/10/2006 18:53

FIL is around 40% deaf! And his selective deafness is boundless.

OP posts:

RoxyNotFoxy · 28/10/2006 09:36

Well, he must have some phobias or other, some things he really loathes. Just find out from dh what they are and make sure you provide him with plenty of it.

CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack · 28/10/2006 09:48

is it your FIL who also has problems aiming correctly for the loo?

Original poster

threebob · 28/10/2006 19:01

Thanks for that MrsJC.

There are 2 bathrooms, and I fully intend giving MIL a bottle of bleach and instructions to clean the loo.

In fact the whole rota thing sounds like a plan. A big chart with the days and the money to be paid and who is cooking.

I am now having problems with my own parents who expect us to visit them in the UK, pay for the flights ourselves - but here's the kicker - go on the airline they say, stay with them all the time etc.

I've told my mum that as far as I was concerned they were paying for the flights (this has always been the deal) but if they didn't, we would - but would also do a grand tour of the UK instead and they would get the same 3 night visit as everyone else. I'm not paying 7 grand to sit around pointlessly drinking cups of tea in the UK either.

Actually I would just leave the money in the bank and go to Australia for a couple of weeks.

OP posts:

CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack · 28/10/2006 22:42

blimey

I'm sure I'll return to this thread thoughtfully for advice when my in-laws visit NZ right after this baby is born....and expect hot and cold running hospitality and constant merry smiles (on my part that is - they needn't bother)

that's if MIL has run out of excuses not to come (dog can't be left, can't fit in the seat, it's too far, DVT, money etc. etc.) and actually makes it. My breath will be bated.

anyway - er, good luck !?

Original poster

threebob · 29/10/2006 07:51

Have provided spread sheet for them. Claimed I was getting confused and didn't want to double book anyone or take too much money!

OP posts:

NurseyJo · 29/10/2006 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

spinaspook · 29/10/2006 11:16

good luck threebob! I'm spending Christmas week with my ILs and lazy BIL and SIL (and not my peeps due to family Spin having other responsibilities) in a cottage we've booked.

......oh and I'm due to give birth on Xmas day. Have a history of overdueness. Could be fun in our little cottage!

I've read your thread with interest!

Original poster

threebob · 29/10/2006 17:59

They are down for three days and you can clearly see that someone is in their room the very next day.

OP posts:

Original poster

threebob · 01/12/2006 17:42

MIL and FIL have now announced they are ignoring that piece of paper I gave them and staying for 4 nights.

I have announced to Dh that I am going to forget to give them the address.

My reasoning is that even if I put my foot down for 3 nights FIL will find some excuse to stay longer - so we'll not only have them, but we'll have him pretending to be ill.

Dh has been told to cancel them totally.

OP posts:

NotAnOtter · 01/12/2006 17:58

they sound torture!!!

KimiTheChristmasCracker · 01/12/2006 18:46

I think your DH really needs to talk to them
They sound hellish

Original poster

threebob · 02/12/2006 03:33

See "FIL causes trouble at Christmas Concert" thread for more details on how bad things are.

OP posts:

welliemum · 02/12/2006 06:37

Arsenic in his tea. It's the kindest thing, you know. Put him out of his misery.

for you.

KTreePee · 02/12/2006 07:53

Have you ever thought of emigrating?!

Original poster

threebob · 02/12/2006 08:59

LOL I did emigrate - to the same bloomin' town.

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