Competitive frugal present giving - for kids?!

[KERALA1]

Not come across this before - but several people when I ask what they are getting for their DC give a righteous look and reply "wellies" or "a new water bottle for school". Am slightly . Yes I get the wanting to be not commercialised, not spoiling DC etc of course. But this is too far the other way surely?!

None of these families are short of cash btw its not that. And actually all have really lovely DC who deserve decent presents. Seems rather a shame to me - surely ages 4 - 10 the really magical years still have happy memories of receiving a much wanted camera one year, pixie boots the next, game of Guess Who. Think I would have been gutted to receive a water bottle from my parents!

hilli likes to concentrate on other things over Christmas and will be buying limited gifts for her children.

Yes it seems because Chills can afford to as the rest of the huge gathering will be picking up the slack.

Gosh I would also sit back and buy the water bottle with a huge family buying!

that stuff doesn't spoil children and I think that is right enough.

Of course, the idea that once a year children get presents, is going to ruin them and turn them into self obsessed brats is so narrow minded.

Och I love seeing their faces when they open their stuff on Christmas Day!

It's all very commendable to teach your kids to be happy with a satsuma and some crayons, but my pleasure comes from seeing them enjoying the things that I have bought them.

So shoot me

I don't get why people care what others do. I think mostly it all comes out in the wash.

A) In our house, we give lots of presents at Christmas, but then Birthdays are about the celebration (will pay for a fairly expensive party, but the DC will be lucky if I spend £50 on their presents). And if they want anything else the rest of the year, they have to save their pocket money for it.

B) I have other friends who don't spend that much at Christmas but spend loads on their childrens birthdays.

C) I know other people who don't spend much on either, but buy lots for the children all year round. One such mum never goes to town (weekly) without bringing back a little something (item of clothing, toy, book, magazine etc) for her DC.

Of all the friends who do these different things, you cannot point to the child and say those in A) have more presents than C or vice versa. In fact if you look at the stuff the children own it's all pretty much the same, whether they get their presents at Christmas, on their birthday or throughout the year.

And no one method is better than the others. You could argue that it's better not to give at Christmas to avoid the over commercialisation of the event, but equally you could argue that the materialism of the other 364 days of the year has more of a stranglehold on society. It's pointless sneering about extravagant Christmas gifts if your child gets the same amount of stuff but they are simply distributed differently.

I also find that those that give more at Christmas tend to give more practical things too. Myself included. My DC get new underwear, pjs and so on at Christmas. Again, that's no more than any other child, just being given it at a different time. So it's all swings and roundabouts I think. I prefer the live and let live approach without the judging. Not nice and not necessary.

I find the competitive frugal Christmas thing odd,but who cares what others do?That's just missing out on the point of Christmas really,but so is the competitive attitude some have.

Makes me wonder how they think they are 'better' at doing Christmas with such attitudes tbh.And it's often them that criticise those who spend more,saying we don't get what it's about!!!

I buy loads for ds at Christmas.We're on our own and won't see anyone,my family don't bother with presents for us but I still get them presents.

Throughout the year deal will get odd bits but his main supply will be at Christmas with lots of new toys and things to do,including musical instruments.

His birthday is in April and he'll get less then,but his main present is often larger,he'll have his own party with other kids or a day out etc.Often gets more outdoorsy/sporty things then.

Then we have our two week hols in August where he is treated to masses of fun and a pile of character tatt from the gift shops!

I think it's fairly well balanced there tbh.The Christmas presents set off a new year with lots of new things to do/learn/try.

My daughter is getting a dressing gown, pyjamas and a jumper for her main Xmas present. You could argue that these are all 'boring' items which should have been provided as part of the normal run of things. They're all stuff she asked for. We are shelling out for a school trip to the States in Feb - well actually it's already paid for. And a bit later we'll get her a laptop which she'll need when she gets to university. So it's a 'small present year' from us. Relatives will be giving cash, vouchers etc. (She also has some spare cash following the sale of a musical instrument she stopped playing. We've said it's hers - but have recommended she keep it for the States trip.) This year our household income is actually a lot lower as well, as my partner has retired.

I buy dd lots however I'm well aware that some of her friends and family friends aren't able to do the same for their children. Therefore if asked I will always mention one of her smaller gifts because I'd feel uncomfortable if I was thought to be boasting. People who know me well would know that dd will have lots of gifts but I don't think there is any need to share exactly what she gets. Likewise if dd is asked by her friends after Christmas she will most likely mention having a game the same as her friend rather than listing all that she received because she is aware enough to be sensitive.