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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Does everyone buy Christmas presents for their toddler ?

81 replies

pigwitch · 18/12/2014 17:18

I have always bought presents for my dc at Christmas, even when they've been too young to understand etc. Not a huge amount but a few presents to open even though they're more interested in the paper.
My friend however isn't getting anything for her 2 year old -says she's too young to understand etc. It isn't a money issue as they're financially fine and she buys for her older dc's.

Does anyone else do this?

OP posts:

TarnishdWithAshAndSootgremlin · 18/12/2014 21:07

Well, secret, that's fine if that's the stage he's at, but I guess the way to get him to enjoy and anticipate celebrations (if it something you celebrate as a family) is to include him in it and one day it will click and the rest will follow.

We've gone though the rituals every year since ds was a baby, he doesn't remember the specifics but he's getting the idea more year on year, and this year he is leading it more and getting into it. I think his expectations of what presents he might get are actually very low though, the excitement of the idea of it is the main thing.

dashoflime · 18/12/2014 21:09

"At that age, it doesn't have to be much, but getting them presents isn't just about 'stuff', it's about involving them and making them feel part of the day."

Exactly my thoughts! Its part of their socialisation.
My D's is 2.5 and doesn't understand Christmas. I could totally get away with not buying anything and if we were very skint I would do that without guilt- needs must. Thankfully we are OK for money so D's is getting some presents and will see DH and me open presents from each other. Its a cultural experience, why would we deny him that unless we had absolutely no choice.

catsofa · 18/12/2014 21:12

I buy for my cat, so I'm going to have to buy for baby (when he arrives) really. It's more for my own amusement/xmas ritual than for the cat/baby though.

And when I say I "buy" for the cat, I mean I wrap something like a valerian teabag (cat crack cocaine) in loose wrapping paper just because I know she will spend a happy hour trying to get into the wrapping to kill it or eat it, and drooling all over it. I'm sure my baby's first presents will be similarly cheap and suffer a similar fate.

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 21:14

He does have presents to open, they just aren't from me! Although at this rate he'll still have birthday presents to open. And about 20 doors on his advent calendar - another thing he doesn't seem bothered about

BathshebaDarkstone · 18/12/2014 21:23

I think it's mean. DS was 2.4 last Christmas and went to see Father Christmas once with us and once with pre-school. He was convinced that Father Christmas only brought books, so that was what I got him!

NancyJones · 18/12/2014 21:33

Secretblack, are you genuinely worried about developmental delay? (I'm asking genuinely) Is he your eldest and does he give you any other cause to consider dd?
Did he point, show and share around 1yr old then almost fanatically point from about 13 mths-18mths, at bloody everything. Is his speech varied and full of wonder like, 'wow, a duck!!!' Type of thing? This probably isn't the right thread but I have 4kids, one of whom was similar with his lack of interest in birthday and Christmas when other 2/3yr olds were buzzing with excitement and he has very mild autism. The paed asked about it at assessment.
I am categorically not in any way diagnosing your child or even suggesting that asd is the issue. Just wanted to share in case you had other lurking worries and your worry was perhaps manifesting itself as anger (mine did).
I'm only sticking my neck out because if it was the issue then diagnosis at 2.5 rather than 4.5 can make an absolute massive difference to a child's outcome.

Mousefinkle · 18/12/2014 21:35

I'd feel fucking cruel if I didn't buy DC even one present... . DC1 was 9 months his first Christmas and he got a fair few presents even though he had absolutely no idea what was going on, he was pretty happy with the Fisherprice train my DGM bought him . Always bought them presents, even DC3 who was 4 months. It's mean not to really...

Artandco · 18/12/2014 21:43

Re 20 advent doors, you need to actually show him and help open each day and explain what day it now is/ look at the picture. He's unlikely to just automatically remember and do all of this himself!

The birthday presents I also wouldn't have left half wrapped, but opened with him/ myself and show him so he gets the concept of presents are for occasions, otherwise he has no idea and thinks they appear weekly. Explain who brought each gift, remind when he plays with it, and encourage him to draw a thank you card ( ie scribble on paper for granny), and he can take pride in giving it as a thank you.

They won't know how to do anything if you don't initiate

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 21:51

Thanks Nancy - I have been concerned about his language development so we are getting some hearing tests done very soon. But as for rest of your points - no he gets very excited and says 'wow!' And points (started pointing around age one, like you say) but very much in the moment IYSWIM. So he'll go 'wow! Stars!' (Christmas lights on someone's tree) but be just as excited by a cat or a 'big van' two seconds later. On his birthday I got him a helium balloon in a box and he went nuts, shrieking with excitement. But I just don't think he understands 'looking forward' to things if that makes sense.

bambinibop · 18/12/2014 21:53

My dd is 10 months and we've got her one present to open which only cost about 5 quid. And we've done her a stocking which has some toys in but also handy things we needed anyway like socks and bibs. I think she'll enjoy pulling it all out though, she certainly likes pulling things out of my handbag!

I know other relatives will get her presents too. We have got her a wheelie bug too but think we'll save it until her birthday

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 21:53

Erm yes Art, I have been helping him with the doors on the advent calendar. And helping him unwrap the presents. He'd just rather be doing other things and barely stops playing to take a look at the calendar/present.

NancyJones · 18/12/2014 22:16

That's ok! I didn't want it to be taken the wrong way but I thought it best to mention just in case you have similar concerns. Some autistic children do point (my DS does) but not as early as 1yr and not with vigour and excited exclamations like those you mentioned.
Just one other thing to keep in mind if hearing is ok is dyspraxia. It's also a huge spectrum although it's not autism. Kids can have speech delay, be slightly uncoordinated, struggle to ride a bike or walk up stairs in a left then right alternate rather than up then join with other foot way of an 18mth old. But also, interestingly, children with dyspraxia sometimes 'see' things differently or view things in a particular way-sometime having a negative impact but sometimes it's a valuable skill. Just something to consider if hearing is ok.

dashoflime · 18/12/2014 22:28

My DS (2.5) is similarly clueless about Christmas. I think he will enjoy the day but he doesn't really get the idea of looking forward to things in the future. Plus he probably doesn't remember last year so its all a bit abstract until it happens.

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 22:32

That's interesting about dyspraxia although doesn't seem to quite fit with DS (he's very co-ordinated for eg). But I've got synesthesia and I know that changes how I perceive things so who knows!

PeggaPip · 18/12/2014 22:34

How very sad so did they not get him presents for his 2nd birthday either??

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 22:36

Phew, that's good to hear dashoflime. I'm thinking things will fall into place for him more next year.

NancyJones · 18/12/2014 22:41

I'm sure you're right and I didn't at all mean to scare you. Interesting what you say about synesthesia as I'm sure you know all those things are linked from a brain development pov. Being different is only an issue if it affects a persons quality of life.

PurplePidjingThroughTheSnow · 18/12/2014 22:41

my 2yo mentioned earlier has grasped the concept that Santa brings presents for children who behave well

I'll probably spend about a tenner on him (hurrah for second hand bikes!) but if he got nothing he'd be upset - not because he had no presents but because that would make him think he was naughty

Phalenopsisgirl · 18/12/2014 22:45

Haha I have done this, as your friend rightly says the child hardly understands the entire thing anyway, and will receive gluts of gifts from other family members and then take weeks to open them all as each gift takes half a day to open and play with before you can coax interest in further presents. (long after older children have opened all their gifts). I think your friend has learned from experience and isn't spending just because she thinks she should.

cherubimandseraphim · 18/12/2014 22:54

Just turned 2yo DD already has a gimlet eye for a "pwesent" and definitely would notice! She isn't a fan of Santa, but after reading a few Christmas books like Mog's Christmas and so on she has certainly grasped the concept that everyone gets a present. Very mean of your friend, and I'm sure her DS will notice even if he isn't talking much - toddlers are sharp as knives!

snappybadger · 18/12/2014 22:57

Secret I'm no expert but I think it's perfectly normal for a 2-3 year old to have no concept of the future, or be able to look forward to things. How can they because they can't remember it from last year! Last year ds was 2.10 and enjoyed christmas things but didn't really understand what it was about! On Christmas morning he didn't notice his stocking on his bedroom door handle and when we went downstairs he didn't even comment at the pile of presents...instead going to check whether Santa had eaten the cookie we'd left out for him!

A year on and he definitely gets it more...helped massively by watching videos from last Christmas. This year he is super excited about receiving presents! Advent calendar I would have to remind him about if it wasn't for the fact it has chocolate in - which he loves.

So don't worry I'm sure your LO is perfectly normal!

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 18/12/2014 23:10

Ah, that's where I've gone wrong snappy - advent calendar isn't a chocolate one!

What Phalen describes is what my DS is like - you have to persuade him for ages to come and open a present, he eventually does, looks at whatever it is for a second, then he's off playing again. If we had a stack of presents for him the whole thing would take days.

MrsRhettButler · 18/12/2014 23:19

But this is a younger sibling we're talking about, she will see her siblings getting things given to them but no one will give her one???
Dd2 was just 2 last xmas and she waited her turn expectantly, followed what her older sister did and joined in giving and receiving. I think it's actually quite cruel.

MrsRhettButler · 18/12/2014 23:21

Fwiw dd1 didn't get a 1st bday present from us in the end so I'm not one for wasting money on dc who really don't understand but surely as a younger sibling she is not daft, she will notice what she's missing

SetTheWorldOnFire · 18/12/2014 23:28

For a baby/young toddler, you quite often need to get stuff anyway, so it's easy enough to wrap it up and call it a present, regardless of how aware of it they are.

Even for a younger sibling where finances are tight, something discarded by the older DC can be wrapped and presented, so the little one isn't completely left out.

I'm not a huge believer in 'presents' for the sake of it (me and DP don't get anything for each other), but it's different for children.

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