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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

noticeable present inequality

60 replies

sliceofsoup · 01/12/2014 12:24

DD1 (5) has asked for a tablet. DD2 is only 2 so Santa has decided for her and is bringing a kitchen, new pram for her baby, play food etc. We have actually spent £30 less on DD2. We could afford to make it up, but we feel she will be overwhelmed and we would rather put the extra into her savings.

We have explained to DD1 that DD2 will probably have more gifts because tablets are expensive and anything Santa brings DD2 won't cost as much.

However, DD1 is only going to have 4 actual gifts to open, and her stocking. Compared to DD2s 15 or so presents, I am not sure that a 5 year old can actually ever be fully prepared for that.

Has anyone else had a situation like this? How did DC cope? For me the Santa experience is mainly the WOW factor when they first see all the gifts and I don't think DD1 will have that this year. :(

OP posts:

wizzler · 01/12/2014 21:01

My DC have huge ( bought by SIL!) christmas sacks... DD will have lots of chunky presents, but DS is getting much smaller presents and I am concerned that he will be a little on christmas day, when his sack seems comparatively empty.. so I plan to top up the sacks for both the DC with balloons... would this approach work for you ?

TchaikovskyForTea · 01/12/2014 21:12

Could the kitchen be for both of them? At 5yrs she a perfect age for it and it's a fun shared toy.

Original poster

sliceofsoup · 01/12/2014 21:45

The kitchen will be for both of them in reality, because it will be in the living room and they will both play with it.

But as has been said, she is already getting more than DD2 so I don't think its fair on DD2. Also, DD1 has already had a play kitchen that was all hers, before DD2 was born. She completely trashed it one day so it was binned. She doesn't play with toys and never did, but she has already had a kitchen and a pram with a baby born doll etc. Its DD2s turn to have these things now.

Yes we always treat them equally even though DD1 will be getting the same again at her dads. In this house they are never treated differently. DH treats DD1 exactly the same as DD2.

I have had great suggestions on this thread. I feel better now that there will be a big thing for DD1 and another present on her pile.

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 01/12/2014 22:11

I always bulk up with a big bag of popcorn and a dressing gown. Also this year I bought huge gingerbread men.

I am also getting my 5 year old a tablet btw.

MaryWestmacott · 01/12/2014 22:19

i definately agree to set up the kitchen and put all the bits on it and wrap it all set up, so it's one gift rather than lots of bits. Actually, having bought DC1 a shop for his 3rd Christmas, I definately would recommend doing that anyway, because he just wanted to play straight away at that stage, best if toys are set up ready to play straight away, rather than lots of packages to be opened.

For DD1, can you get new slippers and PJs, even better if themed for something she'll like and wrap those?

BatCrapCrazy · 01/12/2014 23:31

I got all DCs presents out earlier and because they are all hidden away in random places, I didn't realise how much we had. DDs pile seems bigger because a lot of her stuff comes in big boxes where as DS' stuff is more compactly packaged. DP thought we should put some of DDs things away for her birthday but it's not till march and all her presents are interlinked (e.g doc mcstuffins clinic and the plush toys to go with it, baby annabell and pram and changing bag).
This evening, we passed a boy holding 3 helium balloons. DS said "me wish bobo Christmas (don't ask) would bring me a balloon like those". So I'm going to put 3 helium balloons in a big box and that should even it up.

GinIsCalling · 03/12/2014 03:14

Hi Slice. There is nothing wrong with buying a child a tablet, it sounds like it's a very considered present.
It's easy to sneer at other people's present choices, but I wonder how many of the people saying it's 'excessive' would want their child to grow up without any home access to a computer? Nowadays schools just assume children have access, and yours does not sound like a technology heavy household.
Oh and I saw you mention you feel guilty about your daughter having two families. Please don't feel that way. While I'm sure it's not what you hoped for, it sounds as though your daughter has a happy family at home. I had a similar family set up but with an absent father, and I certainly never felt unhappy about it.
I hope you have a very merry Christmas.

BikeRunSki · 03/12/2014 04:04

A 5 year old with a tablet will be so absorbed, she is unlikely to notice that the house is on fire, let alone that her sister has more presents.

If the kitchen etc is for both of them, can't you give the food to dd1, then name a big deal of how clever father Christmas is, and wouldn't it be brilliant to share the food with dd2 and her kitchen?

BikeRunSki · 03/12/2014 04:06

I speak from experience btw. My dc are just 6 and just 3. DS got a tablet for his 6th birthday.

HowsTheSerenity · 03/12/2014 04:50

Until we learnt the value of money and how much things actually cost we got the same number of gifts. It's quantity not quality at a young age.

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