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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

noticeable present inequality

60 replies

sliceofsoup · 01/12/2014 12:24

DD1 (5) has asked for a tablet. DD2 is only 2 so Santa has decided for her and is bringing a kitchen, new pram for her baby, play food etc. We have actually spent £30 less on DD2. We could afford to make it up, but we feel she will be overwhelmed and we would rather put the extra into her savings.

We have explained to DD1 that DD2 will probably have more gifts because tablets are expensive and anything Santa brings DD2 won't cost as much.

However, DD1 is only going to have 4 actual gifts to open, and her stocking. Compared to DD2s 15 or so presents, I am not sure that a 5 year old can actually ever be fully prepared for that.

Has anyone else had a situation like this? How did DC cope? For me the Santa experience is mainly the WOW factor when they first see all the gifts and I don't think DD1 will have that this year. :(

OP posts:

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 01/12/2014 18:06

I would do what another poster suggested and put the kitchen accessories etc. in the kitchen. It'll also reduce the chance of the 2 year old being overwhelmed or having lots of presents still to open when the 5 year old is finished. Have you got things like headphones and a sturdy case to go with the tablet?

DS is 6 and got a pillow pet last year - he still loves it!

306235388 · 01/12/2014 18:10

Do you take it in turns to open presents?

I'd buy a selection box and wrap it, some stuff for the bath, maybe a new lunch box or pencil case and a duvet cover if it'd come in handy.

SixToesLeft · 01/12/2014 18:15

Wtf are you doing getting a 5 yrs old a tablet?

However, if you are going to buy her a ridiculously expensive gift then she must be old enough to learn that she won't get as many parcels as a two year old.

Ragwort · 01/12/2014 18:18

I agree that a tablet for a 5 year old is crazy, but so is 15 presents for a two year old. My 13 year old would love a tablet but understands that it is a very expensive item and not something he would expect for Christmas.

Original poster

sliceofsoup · 01/12/2014 18:33

She is almost 6. We are getting her a tablet because she wanted a DS. I really don't like them and thought that a tablet would work out cheaper and would be multi functional. Next year she will be using iPads in school and it does no harm to be ahead of the curve sometimes. We have a sturdy case, screen protector and headphones for it, and its a hudl 2 which we bought specifically because it has the child safety features.

And as I said, the 15 presents for the two year old is because she hasn't had anything bought all year, so she has grown out of all the toys she has. Those 15 presents will be doing her until next xmas.

Though not sure why I am having to defend our present choices. Some people buy £30 worth, others £300 worth. We are somewhere in the middle, we aren't getting into debt for it, we don't have holidays at all throughout the year and our DCs don't get toys bought a lot.

OP posts:

Mrscog · 01/12/2014 18:35

Slice ignore, I think a tablet for a 5 year old is a good present :) I think a lot of parents underestimate how prevalent they are going to become in school settings over the next decade. My nearly 3 year old gets a lot out of my iPad already.

atticusclaw · 01/12/2014 18:42

Lots of people will think an iPad for a 5 year old is madness (me included actually) but that isn't the point of the thread.

I think the idea of wrapping some of DS2's presents up together is a good one. She gets the same amount of stuff but fewer parcels to unwrap.

Skyland · 01/12/2014 18:42

I am not sure why people seem so against tablets. It is technology and they will need to learn how to use these at school. It can be used for educational programmes too and there are lots of art apps etc which are great. They have iPads in my child's nursery.

atticusclaw · 01/12/2014 18:53

People are against their children having open access to that sort of technology so young for many valid reasons, not least because there are other things they should be doing at that age, but again, its another thread.

AdventCaroline · 01/12/2014 19:02

Can't you just give some of DD2's presents to DD1 to unwrap? Won't they share them anyway afterwards? My DC are given different things, but they mostly play with everything together, same age gap.

At 2, DD2 is unlikely to really notice - and if DD1 doesn't play with toys much, it might be a way to encourage her to play with DD2's play kitchen?

And if she doesn't play with them, well, it doesn't matter. She will still have enjoyed opening them, won't have felt disappointed that DD2 seemed to get more, and will be enjoying playing with her tablet.

You won't have spent any more.

DD2 will still be able to play with all her presents, and maybe will have been less overwhelmed by having fewer to open.

Win win win .

Lucy61 · 01/12/2014 19:07

Am I the only one who thinks that 15 presents is too much?!

SixToesLeft · 01/12/2014 19:20

Of course it's a bit much. But frankly I think I must be a bit of a grinch.

However, a tablet is madness for a 5, nearly 6 year old.

Original poster

sliceofsoup · 01/12/2014 19:23

Why does having a tablet automatically mean she won't be doing the other things that 5 year olds should be doing? We have rules in this house, its not like the tablet will be rule exempt.

She is a very funny, clever and witty child. She has a wonderful imagination, is very thoughtful and inquisitive about the world and is very physically active. I can't see how having a tablet will change that because it will be restricted, both in time, and in what she is able to access.

I just don't understand where the assumption that I am a shit parent that will cease to bring up a well rounded individual as soon as a tablet arrives comes from. Who said she would have open access?

And Lucy, you probably aren't the only one who thinks 15 presents is too much. But if you rtft you will see that those 15 presents are all she will get for a year.

Oh and this isn't in AIBU. Just in case anyone needs reminding.

OP posts:

Whereisegg · 01/12/2014 19:27

Have a lovely Christmas op

MonoNoAware · 01/12/2014 19:32

I have no idea why so many other posters think it's appropriate to criticise your Christmas gifts and traditions. I'm always surprised how much hostility Christmas manages to evoke on here.

How about the MN fall back present of a hellium balloon (or big box of regular balloons)?

I do agree with others, that you could probably get away with giving the kitchen as a joint present if you are still worried.

atticusclaw · 01/12/2014 19:36

I did say it wasn't the point of the thread but was just responding to another poster when I explained why some might have an issue with a tablet for a 5 year old.

I didn't say you were a shit parent

Mitchymatchy · 01/12/2014 20:33

I wouldn't present the kitchen, or any of DD2's presents, as joint ones. DD1 is already getting more in reality, plus the trampoline etc that DD2 won't get.

marne2 · 01/12/2014 20:41

Don't take any notice of them op, it's your choice if you want to buy her a tablet, I can't see how spending a hour on a tablet is any more harmful than sticking your kids in front a Disney DVD for an hour , there are times when tablets are a god send ( when you need to get on with housework, when you have a poorly child or when your stuck in the car for a while ), both my dd's have spent a lot of time on computers and tablets, they also play with toys, play outside and go out with friends. Sadly tablets, phones and laptops are a big part of most people's life's now, when used correctly they are a great toy.

I'm sure your dd will be more than happy with what she's getting, she will love the trampoline too.

marne2 · 01/12/2014 20:43

And I don't think 15 gifts are too much, mine have always had quite a few but we include clothes and other things they need, they have never been overwhelmed and never got bored of opening things, they don't have to open them quickly, they can spread it out during the day or even the next day.

Purpleroxy · 01/12/2014 20:45

I would have a couple of dd2s presents as sharing presents and make up dd1s pile with some cheap items. Eg a lego mini fig, a my little pony, choc coins, hair bands/clips.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 01/12/2014 20:49

You don't have to justify your present choices OP. DS is 6 and has a tablet. He still swims, rides his bike,plays with toys, uses his imagination, reads books, draws, goes to the park. I hope you've found some useful suggestions to the actual dilemma you posted about.

Darquesse · 01/12/2014 20:55

I have bought a tablet for my two year old. It cost me £20 on Groupon, if 4 or 5 inches and will be reserved for him to watch fireman Sam in the car or when I am cooking. I don't give a stuff what anyone else thinks of that.

I would put the kitchen bits into the kitchen and the doll in the pram with the changing bag if that's what you have bought, on the handle.

Then I would pad out DD1's pike with pj's books, pillow pet it whatever so that there isn't such a big difference in the piles.

My dsd has a full Christmas with her mum and gets tons from her nan. That doesn't stop us from giving her a full Christmas with us too. When in my house all children are treated equally regardless if what they get elsewhere. Unfortunatley that means that she gets much more than my own dc who don't get as much from their father and they all get far more than the baby who literally gets just from us. However I can't control what happens outside of my home, I can only make sure they all feel equal whilst they are in it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 01/12/2014 20:57

Try and "bundle together" DD2s gifts - stock the Play Kitchen with all the food and utensils and wrap the kitchen whole - one gift (albeit a large one!)

Dolls and prams built and wrapped as one.

etc

Darquesse · 01/12/2014 20:57

Sorry that last bit was in response to people who said that your dd1 doesn't need as much as dd2 because she gets presents at her dads. Not in response to anything you have said.

Shakey1500 · 01/12/2014 21:01

I have nothing to add but just wanted to say I love the thread title

It has a naice ring to it and I've found myself saying a few times in a Miranda-esque fashion

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