What do you do about differing amounts of presents for cousins?

[reddaisy]

We are contemplating spending Christmas Day with my SIL, her DH and their DC. Our DC love their cousins and they have a huge house with arcade games and enough space for us all to stay including Mil and Fil who live near to them.

We live four hours drive away and our only reservation is that we will probably spend £100 each on our DC but SIL and her DH are very wealthy so they will probably spend lots more on their children like they have in previous years. Obviously their choice. But what would we do about Christmas morning? It would be awful for our DC to sit through their cousins getting far more presents than them and I can't think of a solution.

We have thought about waking up at home and then doing the four hour drive on Christmas Day but it doesn't sound like much fun for us or the DC who will have to leave their new toys behind. We don't fancy staying in a hotel nearby and doing it there so not sure where that leaves us. What do you all do?

Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of asking her to spend less on her children that is why I started this thread, the onus is on me to find a solution that works for us not for her to change their way of doing things. Think I said I would get DH to find out how they do presents, not ask him to get her to spend less.

The cousins are not spoilt, they are lovely, lovely children who, if anything, crave a bit more time with their v successful parents. I am sure that we will have a lovely day, the DH is a great cook too so DH and I will be happy.

Ask her what she is thinking of getting the dcs, she may be getting them an expensive gadget which is actually one small present in terms of 'size'.

We had a little of that last year with my dsis, but we bought all the kids a shared gift (a secondhand wii) and they were so excited that they didn't notice their cousin got more stuff from her parents. I think at 7 and 5, they probably wouldn't know how much things cost, more the quantity and size, so perhaps check that out with SIL. Perhaps you could agree on 5 presents each, and if hers are more expensive the kids won't really know.

Could you pick up a fairly large but cheap wow factor thing for when they get home e.g. 2nd hand trampoline or a swing set or something and you could tell them that Santa has left their big surprise at home? I'm sure you could pick up something great for the price a hotel would have cost you and it will be obvious that it wasn't something Santa would leave at a place you were only visiting.

How old are the cousins?

I would just buy yours a lot of cheap things they'll really like. Maybe second hand stuff in there? Presumably at that age they won't know that much about the price of stuff - they would more just be comparing the number of gifts? I see you are concerned about cluttering up your space at home, but in reality if you don't buy huge things how bad can it be? Some could be consumable stuff, like craft things, if they're in to it?
I understand the point made by a previous poster - Christmas isn't all about the presents, of course it's not, but as a five year old, presents are an exciting element of the day, and if you get five and your cousin gets fifty five, of course you might feel a bit miffed.