"Secure" delivery locations-shall we compare?

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I opened my bedroom curtains yesterday morning at 6.30am and was delighted that my M&S delivery had arrived and been carefully secured by the delivery person, who had gone to great lengths to ensure the goods were going to reach me in tip too condition.

Now click on my photos for the reality

That gate is locked from the inside BTW.

Ha - not as bad as one delivery I had where they put a parcel of clothes in our wheely bin - which was half full if nappy sacks - gross!!

Yodel left a parcel for us on the door step. They then sent in not one but two delivery reports, one saying it had been signed for by a non existent neighbour and one saying they'd left it in our porch, that we don't have!

ours have a tendency of putting packages in the food waste bin :( so so grim and we have complained a few times now!

Yodel left mine in "the outhouse"
As we do not have an outhouse I was slightly bemused. Even more so when it transpired they had actually left it in the meter box where it had been rained on for two days

We get thing left in the wheely bin. Luckily each time it has not been a collection day, and everything's contained, but it's still weird. A thief could make loads by just going along and checking wheely bins!

Behind the wheely bin, in torrential rain. Thanks Hermes.

Our postie seems to think that the best idea is to chuck it over a locked 6ft gate. It is certainly secure but thankfully nothing has been broken or rained on. Considering moving the toddler trampoline there to break the fall!

In the 'secure porch' (front door step in full view of road).

3bunnies. place the trampoline just so and leave an upstairs window open and, fingers crossed, your Lalique will land on a soft bed.

We had a microwave chucked over a fence, I was absolutely fucking fuming considering it wasn't wrapped in another box iyswim it just had an address label stuck on the microwave box so the idiot knew what he was doing. We've also had a couple of things left in the wheelie bin.

Our next delivery guy put about £250 worth of clothes for DS in the blue recycling bin. His huge fail though was to put a calling card through the door. DH put the bin out.....including all of the clothes and off they went to the recycling centre.

Our secure place is apparently the door step with a really big stone (dinner plate size) placed on top of it if the Hermes woman can make it stay there. I have complained, she now doesn't speak unless she has to, so I guess she lost her bonus from next that month.

Yodel left a note saying my parcel (£50 gift for husband) had been left "under the brush". They'd left under the bush outside. It was tipping down but thankfully the product was vacuum packed so no damage.

Chucked over 6ft side gate (fine when package of clothes, less advisable when DH's brand-new Xbox!)

Oooh I have had a few in a "secure porch" which have actually been sat outside my front door for all and sundry to see... Not a porch insight, let alone a secure one!

My best one was whoever delivers for Debenhams, who left a large dining table outside the front door of a flat I didn't live in anymore, which happened to be directly on a busy high street, as the flat was above a shop. At least that's what they told me they'd done - I was waiting in for the delivery in my new house several miles away.

I used to work at a call Center for a large international retail company and heard all sorts- in the dog kennel, up a tree, under a flowerpot, and in the uk in recycling boxes are popular places. My most favourite was " in the pool house" ( in the USA) on day before xmas eve where they had neatly covered the boxes with towels, and folded one, origami style into a swan!. I thought it was weird but quite thoughtful ( as did the customer who had called to get the delivery drivers details to thank him personally for care and attention)

my postie just brings them back to the sorting office despite my "delivery instructions" re v secure place to leave parcel 10 steps from front door... Argh!

I ordered some football boots from sports direct for my son earlier this year. No parcel arrived and I called them to find out where it was. Apparently my parcel had been signed for by myself which was obviously an outrageous lie. Not sure if he'd left it in the garden to be stolen or that he had had away with then himself. After much wrangling I got my money back and will never buy from them again.

We are really lucky, our delivery people are great, apart from the postman who tends to put a card through saying he tried to deliver but I was out even when I was in and know he hasn't rung the doorbell

Our delivery guys and postie are fab, they always leave things somewhere sensible and our postie will even pop back on on his way back to the depot to see if I'm in if he hasn't been able to deliver a parcel that he knows I'm desperate for. :) that's Yorkshire friendliness at work that is!

If something was letter-boxed sized we used to get "signed for by driver" and the item+card popped through the letter box.

Very helpful, but not really the point...

Totally excited, I have a Hermes delivery tomorrow.

Where will it land?

Photos at the ready.

A friend had a parcel chucked over her back gate yesterday... Cue staffie tearing packet to shreds, removing contents and running round garden with stuffed toy

Oh and this morning I came home to a very bulgy doormat... I mean seriously! I was like another step to get into the house!

I think a photo mood board of secure locations in the run up to Christmas is essential.

On the back of the shoes delivery, where the Jeff will my turkey crown end up checks Pear trees anxiously