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Original poster

Would you be offended if I bought your DS a coat?

35 replies

WitchOfEndor · 14/12/2012 13:56

Background is DF is a bit strapped for cash, her DS has a coat she bought from eBay but it is a size too big and swamps him. her DS doesn't really play with toys so I was scratching my head for present ideas anyway. If it was you, would you be offended if I bought your DS a coat? (I would put the gift receipt in just in case)

OP posts:
mamij · 14/12/2012 13:58

It's a lovely thought! I'm sure your friend would really appreciate it.

HarlettHoHoHoScara · 14/12/2012 13:59

Not at all. If she's a bit strapped for cash, I'm sure she'll appreciate it and she can put the ill fitting coat away until he grows into it.

MadCap · 14/12/2012 14:00

Not at all Smile

WeAreSix · 14/12/2012 14:02

I wouldn't mind either. Although I tend to get together with my friend to chat about what we're getting each others DCs drinking coffee eating too much cake and that way we know its right. If you do something similar you could mention you've seen a coat her DC might like?

Original poster
WitchOfEndor · 14/12/2012 14:03

Good! I didn't know if I was over thinking it or not.

OP posts:
pateran · 14/12/2012 14:59

Not at all - unless she is funny she will see why you've done it and appreciate it.

reddwarf · 14/12/2012 15:05

How old is the ds?

I'm going to be the lone voice and think on balance not.

NaokHoHoHo · 14/12/2012 15:17

I don't have a DS, but if I did I wouldn't be offended by someone buying him a coat.

If I were buying someone else's DC a coat, though, I might make sure that it's a slightly more 'special' coat, to make it more present like. If that makes sense. Not necessarily more expensive, but in a colour/design the child really likes, or with a character they love, or something like that - rather than just 'it's warm, it's practical and it fits'.

MerylStrop · 14/12/2012 15:34

I'd be grateful
But I'd put a packet of match attax or a bag of chocolate buttons in the pocket (depending on age of DS)

LaTrucha · 14/12/2012 15:50

I think not unless it's really fab and you can spin an, 'I just couldn't resist it's so HIM,' kind of a line.

pollywollywoowah · 14/12/2012 15:55

I think if he is age 2/3/4 ish it's fine.

reddwarf · 14/12/2012 16:15

Do you have dc? DO you normally buy presents for her dc (and vice versa if applicable?)

You see I can see all sorts of problems, first obviously is her being offended. they she might feel obliged to buy you or your dc presents (which is going to force her to spend money she other wiese wouldn't and can't afford, thus defeating the object. Depending on age of kid they might be upset to get a 'necessity' as a present instead of something they would actually like (I bet the kid couldn't care less that the coat is too big)

I just wouldn't, although I really appreciate you are wanting to be kind and help I can just see it causing hurt, embarrassment, problems.

She might be chuffed. Only you know your friend, and whether it'll send the poor thing rushing off desperately spending money she doesn't have cos she feels obliged.

MAybe if you find a good one at a charity shop and give it anyway, saying ooh it was a bargain, next to nothing, and don't wrap it and give it as a Christmas gift.

fuzzpig · 14/12/2012 16:20

I'd be over the moon! You should ask her though, just in case somebody else is buying one (she may have already asked a relative)

Whistlingwaves · 14/12/2012 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 14/12/2012 16:26

Yes I'm afraid I would be offended if it was because my son had a scruffy or old coat. I know this isn't logical but it's how I would feel. It is a kind thought though and your friend might appreciate it.

BringUsSomePigleyPudding · 14/12/2012 16:37

No, my DD's quite often gets coats for Christmas from my aunty.

In fact DD1 is about due a new one but im holding out till xmas to see if she gets a new or not first.

chocolateicecream · 14/12/2012 17:11

OP, lovely people like you make the world go round Smile. How kind and thoughtful. Proud or not I imagine that your friend will still be touched by your thoughtfulness.

We3bunniesOfOrientAre · 14/12/2012 17:16

Tricky - dd1 and ds are both in coats which swamp them, but they love their coats, dd1 decided on the bigger one because she liked that style but wanted a long one, and it is just in the arms which it looks too big. Ds saw one come in a bag of hand me downs and he wanted to wear that one instead of the one he has. He grows quickly and by next year it may not fit him plus is a character one which might not be cool next year. I think if they were given coats they would probably still like their current ones. For the sake of no arguements I wouldn't make them wear a coat they didn't want to when trying to get out in the morning, but might feel embarrassed if I bumped into you and they had their old coats on.

If the mother has been commenting on it annoying her, or if the child is complaining then I would be more inclined to give one though. Definitely put in a reciept, you can often get gift ones, which don't specify the amount unless they take them back.

CheungFun · 14/12/2012 17:16

I wouldn't be offended at all! In fact a friend of DH's bought DS a new coat a couple of months ago (and gave us the gift receipt just in case) and I was really touched by the thoughtfulness and earlier that day I'd been looking for a second hand one at a nearly new sale with no joy!

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/12/2012 17:19

I wouldn't be offended either! It wouldn't even cross my mind that this would offend anyone!

BikingViking · 14/12/2012 17:22

My friend bought my dd a coat for a Christmas present one - I was really grateful (as I am every year when she buys presents for my dc's - she doesn't have any of her own).

reddwarf · 14/12/2012 17:23

I agree it would be a kind and lovely thing to do in principle, but I would keep it separate from Christmas. A neighbour last year bought my sil dc presents and while it was a nice neighbourly gesture, my sil just felt hassled, in that she had to rush out and buy the neighbours dcs presents to reciprocate, so it ended up just being a pain, and potentially forever until they move or sil has the guts to say not to buys presents. She found it really awkward!

If the OP does not normally buy presents for the friend, and the OP also has kids, it could just put the friend in an awkward position.

I would consider this carefully really. NAd if a rely usually buys your dc a coat, it's different to a firend out of the blue buying your dc a coat, just after you've bought one and it's not quite right.

But I really do think it's a kind thought of the OP, just concerned the friend will end up feeling she's got to buy the OP or her dc gifts in return and actually be more stressed and worse off!

scottishmummy · 14/12/2012 17:25

how thoughtful, of course shell not be offended

MrsDimples · 14/12/2012 18:37

I think it a lovely idea but check first.

I've always bought my DD clothes at least a size too big on purpose. She won't even wear a bulky coat the correct size - gilet thing correct size, yes. Waterproof fleece lined coat correct size, yes. Puffy warm, waterproof coat correct size, NO. Same coat bigger size, Yes.

My Dad clearly doesn't prove of her coat wear as he's bought her several coats. They've all been returned. ASK. That's at him, not you OP Xmas Smile

IslaValargeone · 14/12/2012 18:40

You sound really lovely, but honestly, I think I would be offended, because I'd be thinking it was a judgement on the one I'd bought not being right.
Also I would be stressing about reciprocating in some way.