Kids at school told ds about Santa :-(

[jenni75]

Hi, wonder if you can me your advice, ds (7) came home from school and said he knew the truth about santa because kids in his class had told him, I was shocked
I said that was an awful thing that they said and of course there is a santa, and that santa would only come if he was a beleiver.
Last nite i said to ds at bedtime, ' come on now, bedtime, santa will be watching' to which he replied, ' i don't beleive in him'

Help needed to keep the dream alive , i have 2 other children 9 and 10 who do beleive still

My Dd is10 and still firmly believes as do the majority of her friends. I find it odd that younger children dont to be honest.

We have never really discussed the how and why really. She did ask me if i thought the tooth fairy was real the other day, i just asked why she was asking? and she said she didnt know she just wondered. Then she said i hope she is as ive only one little tooth left and it would be nice if she got the whole lot for a new castle!

What was i supposed to do, tell her the truth? I dont think so! Its lovely that she still believes i think. If she asks me outright i will tell her the truth obviously, and tell her that its a secret for big girls, and not to tell her little cousins the truth. I think it helps that she and a lot of her friends are only children or the youngest in their families.

"I think it's cruel to keep a 10 year old believing." wtf? I think it's one of those things that most children figure out for themselves or which they are told by other children. I don't see why there needs to be a sitting down and telling of the truth - who are we to decide at what age children should and shouldn't believe..? it doesn't harm anyone.

My 10 yr old nephew still believes!!

"Grow up and let your children grow up too." whatdoiknowanyway why on earth should a seven year old need to grow up? Get your festive hat out and sod growing up!! It's overrate

Overrated even

Me too vivalebeaver

Yes cruel is a silly thing to say. It is not cruel, if i could believe in santa again i blinking well would, i love it and you know what i think it is the most selfless thing most parents do, you give your children gifts and go to all these huge lenghts for them and take no credit. Good on you op for trying to keep the magic alive, and as for telling him santa will visit if he believes i'm with you on that if you watch 90% of christmas films santa claus can only function if people believe in him, elf and miracle on 34th street being two of them. I'm fairly certain jesus didn't exist and people still try and convince their children he is real, is that cruel?

Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional :)

wait til they are at secondary asking their mates what Santa will be bringing them then! Kids can be cruel alright!

Jenni, don't worry about it - just pick it up in a more lighthearted way from now on, re Christmas Fun, and leave a stoocking out without making any ref to actually believing.

It took you by surprise, that's all.

I told ds1 when he was 7 that people who don't believe don't get presents from Santa. In our house we have presents from each other and other family/friends and we have a few special presents from Santa. It is these presents that the non-believers miss out on.

Ps. It gave me at least 2 more Christmases. I think this year he has sussed it

Why is santa not cool these days lol. I don't remember anyone getting bullied for believing in santa and it wasn't that long ago i was a teenager.

Google PNP.

That is all

Besides santa is real, he might look a lot like mummy but he's real i tell you real.

When my DD began to look a little bit about it all, I just insist...I beleive in him and I do! I believe in the myth...which creaes the magic that is tangible...he IS real he IS!

Bananamam - my festive hat is firmly in place thank you. You've misunderstood my post. I don't believe you should tell a 7 year old who is happy believing and if I was the OP I would be very cross that this had happened. But it has happened and if doubt has been planted in the child's mind then I think you should respect their intelligence and answer their questions properly instead of fobbing them off and telling them Santa is watching them. Parents continuing to insist something whimsical is true when their children know it is not can be distressing for the child. The 'what do you think?' response helped mine to keep believing for a while longer as they came up with their own reasons.

AWESOME KOVA

dunrovin - yes, that's it completley, and that's what i intend to do from now on

OP - Just don't give the little blighter any presents this Christmas. Let your other kids have them though. He'll soon start believing all over again.

Pnp is fab!! I think we just disagree whatdoiknowanyway and that's cool!....I will handle it my own way when my kids get there...as it stands they are only 2&4 and well into the whole idea

My ten year old DDs both completely still believe it all. I did doubt it this year, wondering if they were going along with it for me and DH. Recently though I overhead one of them talking to our neighbours daughter who is nearly 14, who mine think is the coolest teenager ever, and they were asking her what she wanted from Father Christmas. There is just no way they would mention it if there was any doubt in their heads.

And yes, they are bright girls, in mainstream school, not home educated, and they mix with all sorts . I will be having a chat next year though if they still believe, not sure they can be at secondary school and be 'believers'.

Kids at school are meant to put younger kids straight.

When I was very small, our elderly neighbour on one side insisted that he had tigers living in his hedge. I knew perfectly well that the small furry black & yellow things were in fact wasps, but he kept on with his story. Even at 3 or 4 I felt insulted that an adult insisted their made-up story was real when I knew it wasn't.

I don't think you do children any favours by insisting that santa is real once they know the truth - and I'm sorry but at 7 what he hears from his school friends is more likely to be accepted as true than what you tell him.

So, while there's no harm in continuing with the story while they believe (or even choose to half-believe) it, I think it is silly and pointless to insist on them pretending to believe to placate their parents. And hurtful to make presents conditional on their pretence at belief.

But I do think everyone should be sure their children know the truth by the time they start secondary school, as being seen as "a baby" is not a good way to feel good about yourself in a new environment.

just to add there's nothing wrong with Christmas magic... I still get a stocking from my mum, and dp, and I am 40 something