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Christmas

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Original poster

DD announced wants an Ipod-touch for Christmas most of all, and she won't be getting it

33 replies

Earlybird · 12/12/2011 15:27

I've mostly finished shopping for dd's Christmas presents, with only a few small bits left to purchase.

Over the weekend, she gave me her Christmas list and at the top (with a big star for emphasis) is an Ipod-touch. She then went on earnestly for several minutes about how it is what she wants most of all. She has talked about wanting this in the past (several of her friends have them), but never in the same 'must have' sort of way.

I haven't bought her an ipod-touch. She will have a generous selection of really lovely gifts that I know she'll enjoy. And I will probably seriously consider getting the I-touch for her birthday pressie (in Feb).

But I feel slightly anxious that she is going to be disappointed on Christmas Day.

How can I avoid that happening? What can I say to her? Instead of feeling excited about her gifts, I now feel a bit anxious that she'll be unhappy.

OP posts:

MamaMaiasaura · 12/12/2011 15:29

I would say she hasn't got it as you've already done Christmas shopping and shell have to wait and see for her birthday x

GypsyMoth · 12/12/2011 15:32

How old is she?

Original poster

Earlybird · 12/12/2011 15:34

Should say that dd is 10.8, and I haven't seriously considered an ipod touch in the past because:

I'm a bit old fashioned and don't want her to be glued to electronic gadgets for hours a day She can be absent-minded about keeping up with her possessions, and she needs to be more responsible before having her an expensive item that, if mis-placed/left behind, will probably be gone for good (i.e not* retrievable)

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 12/12/2011 15:35

If you took some of her other stuff back could you get the iPod instead?

If she's old enough to not believe in father Xmas can you just tell her she will get it for her birthday. You have my sympathy, dd was nagged tomwrite a letter to father Xmas and didn't, then wrote a letter last weekend with stuff I hadn't got her. She still believes so I was worried. Luckily two of the things she wanted were on offer for £3 in toysrus so I got those as well as her other stuff.

wahwahwah · 12/12/2011 15:36

Yes - nip it in the bud now. If you are happy for her to get it for a birthday gift (and its not that far away) then let her know that it's not under the tree (and you are NOT joking).

GypsyMoth · 12/12/2011 15:38

Cheapest I have seen is £147 but at age 10, I think it's too much. Especially as she isn't careful with her stuff.

How do you monitor settings for Internet on them effectively? My son borrowed mine and found a search for 'Cheryl cole with no clothes on' he's 13.

stuffthenonsense · 12/12/2011 15:43

Wow, that seems quite an extravagant gift for a 10 year old who, like you say, probably doesnt understand the value and so wont care for it as well you would like.

That aside, at 10 i am sure she will cope with a little disappointment, especially if you prime her with hints that it wont be happening. Remind her that it is VERY close to christmas and Santa/Mummy needs a little more notice for some things, and that not to fret, her birthday is very close.

Original poster

Earlybird · 12/12/2011 15:48

I agree that it is extravagant - but I am in the minority.

Many of her friends already have them (some for as long as a year). To be fair, some have acquired them when Mum/Dad or older siblings upgraded and passed the older model 'down the line'.

OP posts:

wahwahwah · 12/12/2011 15:48

I have seen some advertised with £35 cashback. Cheapest nano at John Lewis is £105. Maybe check out e-bay (very carefully) after christmas. There could be some 'unwanted presents' on there!

Original poster

Earlybird · 12/12/2011 15:54

VivalaBeaver - I could 'bump' some of the already purchased pressies from Christmas to birthday, and go get the i-pod Touch so that it is under the tree. But for reasons given above (below?), I hesitate to do that.

But if i'm honest, I think my logic is flawed. Is dd really going to be much more mature (and able to handle it responsibly) 3 months from now when she turns 11?

OP posts:

macsaid · 12/12/2011 15:58

please, please get it for her with a warning about having to look after it...please

VivaLeBeaver · 12/12/2011 16:00

If you don't think she's responsible enough then no don't get her one either now or for her birthday. Or could you have rules such as its not allowed out the house unless she is with you on a day out and you can keep an eye on it?

And that it has a certain place in her bedroom where it must live when not being used - and do spot checks and nag like mad. I've had to do this with dd's dsi. It has to live in her desk drawer and if I go and look for it and its not there she's in trouble unless she's playing on it. Its worked.

MamaMaiasaura · 12/12/2011 16:04

Agree vivalabeaver- I do same with ds1 (11£ as he inherited my iPhone 3G.

TeWiharaMeriKirihimete · 12/12/2011 16:15

If you don't think she is resposible enough then don't get it. If she has a sulk on boxing day you will have to be honest, explain why and give her a chance to prove herself.

There is no magic rule that says children must get what they ask for. It would be nice if you could get it for her in Feb (it is after all - lovely to give your DC want they really want sometimes).

Marne · 12/12/2011 16:22

Dsd asked for a i-pod tounch, she's 12 and i said 'no' as a) its too expensive and b) she's wont look after it, she was happy to chose something else and will save up for the i-pod with any money she gets for christmas and her next birthday. I'm sure she will be happy with what you have got her.

4madboys · 12/12/2011 16:28

my 12yr old ds1 also asked for one and i said no as its expenisve and yet another electrical gadget that he doesnt really need and we would have to ration his use of it and i dont want to be having to do that.

forkful · 12/12/2011 16:34

OP - (and others with DC's with ipod-touch) just wondering how you plan (if at all) to monitor her internet usage if you have wifi at home etc?

DS 4.3 uses my ipod touch at home and out and about to play games but doesn't know how to get onto the internet etc.

I am unsure whether you can "nanny net" it etc.

MadameCholetWasMyFavourite · 12/12/2011 16:44

Hi EarlyBird, looks like there are two issues here. 1 - do you give in and change what you have already bought and 2 - is your DD responsible enough for this gadget. I had exactly the same dilemma when my DD1 was 9. She suddenly decided 2 weeks before Christmas that she wanted a Nintendo DS. After a similar internal debate to yours, I bought her one and bumped her christmas present to her April Birthday. Similarily she was the most of responsible of children with her possessions but doesn't ask for much. Looking back she now says that was one of her best Christmasses ever as she had realised that she had probably left it too late and so it was a lovely surpise and she has looked after it. Incidently, two years later (last year) I realised (in time) that she was hankering after an IPOD touch. Again, this was a bit out of my normal price range but she has had lots of value out of it, doesn't use it for the internet (she can use the computer for that) and has looked after it. I never regretted my choice.

GypsyMoth · 12/12/2011 16:52

And bear in mind the hidden costs of buying apps and iTunes!!

I asked early on about nanny net type of stuff. If she is savvy enough she will be able to google adult material

3duracellbunnies · 12/12/2011 17:24

My girls' birthdays are in feb too, and things do get bumped, it is only 2 months, might be different for ds in sept. However it is up to you whether you think she should have ipod touch. I guess also depends if she still believes or likes to pretend to still. Might be harder to impose restrictions if given by fc than from you. I guess if I had the money and decided would give it for b'day I would bump it for christmas, but bit scary that my dd might want that in 4yrs time!

bigTillyMincepie · 12/12/2011 17:31

If you definitely are not going to give her one at Christmas, I think you need to have a clear conversation with her about it (that she has left it too late!) but that she may be able to have one for her birthday.

Lots of D's friends (all 10+) have them. I have one which DS can use, but he virtually never thinks to ask for it!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 12/12/2011 17:39

Well my dd is 16 and also asked for one but won't be getting it. I think children are perfectly capable of coping with the idea that they will get some things and not others, however much they may 'want/need' them. I'm sure my dd will be v happy with the things we have bought her and if she wants an i-pod THAT much she will start to save up for it instead of frittering all her money away in coffee shops etc! :)

I think it is v extravagant for a ten year old tbh, especially one who is absent minded.

inchoccyheaven · 12/12/2011 17:59

I am sure that even if she doesn't get the Ipod touch she will like the other things you hve got her, it isn't the end of the world. :)

I think the closer to Christmas it gets the more we panic that we have bought the right thing and then it can get a bit out of control when we try and fulfil their every wish at a drop of a hat.

I wouldn't buy either of my sons one ( 9 and 11 ) because they are expensive and they have never asked for one anyway. They do suddenly say ooh I'd like such and such for christmas and I just say, they will have to wait to see what they get at Christmas and if they don't get it then maybe it can go on birthday or next years list.

birdsofshoreandsea · 12/12/2011 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryBeWaiting · 12/12/2011 18:10

I bought DD (12) a refurbished one for her birthday. I was concerned about getting it lost/stolen. Said she could either have a new one and not be allowed to take it anywhere or a refurbed one and she would be allowed to take it to school. She opted for the refurbed one, is really happy with it too!

In this scenario though, I would make it clear NOT for Christmas, but if she still wanted it by then, for her birthday.

www.studentcomputers.co.uk

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