DD announced wants an Ipod-touch for Christmas most of all, and she won't be getting it

[Earlybird]

I've mostly finished shopping for dd's Christmas presents, with only a few small bits left to purchase.

Over the weekend, she gave me her Christmas list and at the top (with a big star for emphasis) is an Ipod-touch. She then went on earnestly for several minutes about how it is what she wants most of all. She has talked about wanting this in the past (several of her friends have them), but never in the same 'must have' sort of way.

I haven't bought her an ipod-touch. She will have a generous selection of really lovely gifts that I know she'll enjoy. And I will probably seriously consider getting the I-touch for her birthday pressie (in Feb).

But I feel slightly anxious that she is going to be disappointed on Christmas Day.

How can I avoid that happening? What can I say to her? Instead of feeling excited about her gifts, I now feel a bit anxious that she'll be unhappy.

I would tell her you're not getting it for xmas but you will give her some money towards it for her birthday. If she saves up for it herself, she will value it more and look after it better.

Good advice.

I think it will be wise to manage expectations (ie, have a conversation in advance) so she is not disappointed on the day.

Could I say though, obviously its totally up to you what you get her, but if you were thinking of getting one for her birthday, last year the best deals on ipods were all before Christmas, you could get free docks etc, so you might want to look and see about it now anyway?

Personally Id get her it, but thats why I'm always skint because I am a big softy.

I'd tell her that's she's not getting one for Christmas. My son is the same age and I've previously told him before hand if he's not getting something, often with a simple explanation.

If you decide you're happy in principle for her to have one, and can afford it, then then say that if she's still desperate by her birthday she can have one then. You could give her a reason? You want to make certain she really wants one, not just peer pressure. You want it to be really special and not when everyone else is getting pressies. She has to prove herself to you that she can look after her stuff.

My 10 year old has one and he loves it, I'm getting my other son one when he turns 7 in March. We do quite a few very long drives and find the movies useful!

We have friends looking for a decent 2nd hand one of these for their DD - no way could they afford a new one. They are now looking at a Samsung Galaxy - does the same stuff but on Android (but still 2nd hand needed). Their DD is 12.

Littlestlightonthetree - will have to look into that aspect. Thanks for getting me to think this through carefully.

For those thinking of buying one but unsure because of Internet access/ cost of iTunes and apps I just wanted to let you know that you can restrict everything on an iPod touch. iTunes, App Store and the Internet icons won't even show on the screen if you don't want your DC to have access unless you are supervising. You set a 4 digit passcode so your DC can't access the settings and change it back. It is very easy to set this up.

I feel a bit bad now - got one for dd3 and she hasn't even asked for it. Know she'll love it though.

I must say, none of my 4 are particularly attached to gadgets - even ds (15) has never done gaming as a hobby - much prefers a game of tennis or a bike ride. I think it's probably because we don't really restrict anything. We just encourage them to be sociable and not boring. That way comes balanced kids.