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Anyone else suffer from Irrational Fear Of Small Present Pile Panic?

51 replies

MistletoeAndFlump · 12/12/2011 14:02

Why do I do this every year?

We have three DC. They are all getting plenty for Christmas (without going into ££ spent, which I know isn't the point)...

But every year around now I start to worry that when the presents all get put under the tree on Christmas Eve, the pile won't be quite big enough.

I am always careful to only buy things the DC will actually like/use/keep, and manage to avoid most of the plastic tat. But my IFOSPPP leads me to compulsive crap buying like there's no tomorrow - usually just on the basis of how big a box the crap comes in. Somebody please give a me a stern talking to and hide my credit cards.

Xmas Sad
OP posts:
whatdoiknowanyway · 13/12/2011 08:11

We have a no tat rule even in stockings. Mine are teenagers but this year stockings will include chocolate coins, big tube of smarties, yaktrax(stop them slipping if it's icy), slipper socks ( they refuse to wear proper slippers), lip salve, mini photo book with special photos, Christmas ornament with their name and year on it, hand cream and a couple of other nice but useful things.

Under the tree they have their main present end then things they need which we have delayed getting them until Christmas (new dressing gown, winter boots). I try to make sure we spend about the same amount on each but it's all mingled under the tree so we don't even try to match size of piles.

I've never understood the mass purchase of toys they don't need with money we don't have. What's the point?

LadyMontdore · 13/12/2011 08:40

mrsm - if your son isn't pleased with that then he is an ungrateful boy! That is a serious present pile! Surely at 15 you could say - just the kindle this year as it is so expensive.

Also wondering if we are the only people who don't just rip open presents as soon as we get up. We do stockings in bed, then main presents at about 10 when breakfast etc is cleared up.

tiredfeet · 13/12/2011 08:40

Big boxes is the key Grin
I've only got ds a couple of toys and some books (plus stocking stuff) as he'll be spoilt by family, but by the time its been generously wrapped it looks like a lot

TheScarlettPimpernel · 13/12/2011 08:53

Ahem.

Some people do this without the excuse of wanting to provide a majickal Christmas experience for the little ones because after all it's about them really isn't it

DH and I have an annual pact. We must each give each other five gifts MINIMUM and this does NOT include stockings, which are compulsory.

We are not that well off. Last year I bulked out his pile with a copy of the Moro cookbook I found in a skip just off the Old Ford Road.

Came up a treat wiped with a damp sponge. I'd love to say he was none the wiser but I was so proud of my frugality I told him immediately Grin

LolaLadybird · 13/12/2011 09:03

MrsM - I also think your DS is doing well for presents. And I agree that at 15 he is old enough to understand the value of less is more and that Xmas is also more than the sum of its presents.

LadyM - how old are your DC's? I'd love to delay present opening until after breakfast - I remember doing this an older child - but as the DC's are 6 and (just turned) 4 I think that might be a bit ambitious. I will be making them wait until later in the day (when my parents arrive and we exchange presents with them) to open presents from relatives and friends. First thing will just be stockings in bed and then FC/our presents under the tree.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 13/12/2011 09:09

I so have this. And now I am worried, DD's presents fit in the top shelf of my single wardrobe Hmm. That's stocking stuff and the present I get her.
I console myself that it's because little girls toys are small and fiddly. But I feel I need to go shopping......

No. Must get grip. That's only the bits from me and FC, she will get things at her father's house and from GPs.

LadyMontdore · 13/12/2011 09:39

Lola - my dc's are very nearly 4 and 2. But I don't think the age is relevant, we've always done presents after brek etc and I can't see it changing. They will have their stockings in bed. We all sit down together for presents and the children pass the presents to every one, dc's don't get theirs all first. In fact often get the main one last so that they actually notice the ones from grandparents etc!

crazygracieuk · 13/12/2011 13:15

I totally know what you mean. I have 3 kids and find it hard to get a balance Ds1 is 10 and he has fewer presents than his siblings but some of the individual items cost more.
Dd is 8 and has the biggest number of presents but a lot of her presents are cheap.
Ds2 is 5 and has one expensive present and lots of cheap presents.

I've spent the same amount on each but my fingers are twitching and I feel like buying more. Stay string with me!

CointreauVersial · 13/12/2011 13:21

It's never to early for them to learn that size isn't everything. Wink

I don't put my FC presents under the tree, they are spirited away into the stockings. With my three DCs it is all about quantity as they very sweetly take it in turns to pull out a present and open it.

I have a vast box into the loft, into which I have been tossing items all year; in the next few days I will have to drag it out and count up the numbers then rush screaming to the shops to find 11 extra items for DS1 so he is in line with his sisters.

PeanutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 13/12/2011 15:23

Pimpernel I so feel your pain! I dont have DC yet but my DM and DB have a sack each I have bought them Xmas Blush
Only us reallly as DF died a couple of years ago and started off trying to compensate for missing family and now I cant stop Xmas Grin

Somebody please sit on me so I cant but anymore !

AngryFeet · 13/12/2011 15:44

Not guilty of this. My DC have never had a big pile of presents so they don't expect it in the first place. I used to get them one thing when they were babies and 3 things when they were toddlers. Now they are both at school they get 5 things each (two expensive things and 3 smaller things). I don't do a stocking either. To be honest my kids barely play with most of the stuff they have already and they only get stuff bought for them on birthdays and xmas anyway. The last thing I want to do is add to the mountain of crap. I have been quite careful this year to try and buy stuff they will actually play with but I might be wrong again Hmm.

Anyway they do actually spend time playing with everything they get this way. I remember my parents bought us mountains of presents - god knows if we even used half of it!

Maryz · 13/12/2011 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistletoeAndPinot · 13/12/2011 17:15

It was! Thanks Maryz.

CointreauVersial · 13/12/2011 17:16

Angryfeet - a lot of the stuff that goes into the kids stockings is probably stuff I'd have bought them through the year anyway - pens, books, magazines, socks, smellies, chocolate. Of course, there is frivolous crap in there too!

RomanChristingle · 13/12/2011 17:22

I don't but I have an entirely rational fear of small cash pile panic. They will be getting less next year.

sunnyday123 · 13/12/2011 20:23

i had this last night. DDs aged 4 and 6 are getting lots of things from us in addition to their bike and maxi scooter but still felt panicked when looking at their piles.

Last year they had a couple of big presents mixed in with their stuff e.g. baby bath or shopping trolley - both cheap but big boxes! And with kids its really about the size- quantity wise they have the same as last year and i've even done stocking which have previously never done.

I know in total they will get LOADS as they get spoilt rotten by other family members who they see later in the day but its all about their faces on xmas day for me. I have decided do go out and buy 2 space hoppers and wrap them blown up! :)

budgieshell · 13/12/2011 21:34

My problem is getting the balance right. This year my eldest DD is the easiest. I go shopping and see something and think oh she would like that and that and oh thats nice. Then when I look at one of my many lists discover she has much more than the youngest. This is not because I favour her because it's different each year.

mrsmplus3 · 13/12/2011 22:02

ladymontdore - youre right, im sure its more than enough. he's a lovely teen, its more my problem of wanting to shower him with gifts on christmas morning because i love him so much. not that we as a family equate love with material possessions but its just something i love to do once a year if i can, its just seeing them (all 3 kids) surprised and delighted. anyway....

chocolatespiders · 13/12/2011 22:12

Present pile def gets smaller as they get older. Teenage dd would like YMCMB Hoodie- £50.00 and Gucci perfume also £50 ish.. thats £100 on 2 tiny things Shock

Thankfully I have saved money on second hand BMX for dd 8. but was peeved recently when she said she preffered to be at her dads for christmas as she got more presents Hmm

makemineapinot · 13/12/2011 23:56

I have this syndrome - usually set off by 'The Guilt of Being a Single Parent Feeling the need to Make Up for Daddy Being an Arse' syndrome - I am a student and skint but have spent loads buying extra cos this is the first time it's... just us for Xmas.... They have way too much stuff now (all from Santa apart fom about £30 worth from me) but I know they'll get sod all from their dad and I just wanted them to be excited and happy and too busy to even think about what is really missing on Xmas morning. In my defence, some of the last min panic shopping was for board games the 3 of us can play together on Xmas day. Please help.... Xmas Grin

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 14/12/2011 08:54

Will their dad really not get them anything makemineapinot? Yikes :(

I definitely don't have IFOSPPP with my DCs this year. I've bought far too much, by starting early Xmas Blush especially as they would probably be happy with their stockings!

Those of you with young DCs could actually make those piles smaller (thus reducing the need to buy more for older siblings) - DS has lots of happyland stuff which I removed from the packaging and wrapped all together, so it looks more moderate than if they were individually wrapped in boxes IYSWIM!

I do have IFOSPPP for my DSCs though! 3 presents each. But considering DH got his DS a PDA with satnav, and laptops for his DDs (all 2nd hand from eBay), it should be ok

They get loads from the rest of their family anyway, so they will not be without at all. And they aren't here on Xmas (they always spend it with their mum, and have a 2nd - or in this case 1st - Xmas with us at another time in the holidays) so won't have the piles to compare as the DCs' stuff doesn't go out until 24th.

reckoner · 14/12/2011 08:59

Big box with tissue paper (or whatever filling you can find) and fill it with small presents to find. My uncle did this and put some joke presents in too. A bit like a lucky dip.

TheChristmasCountessOlenska · 14/12/2011 09:04

LadyMontdore famously didn't give presents at all, not even to her beloved Polly . . . until Cedric arrived on the scene that is. My favourite book!

TheFrogs · 14/12/2011 09:09

I have this too, along with a nice side order of pinot's 'The Guilt of Being a Single Parent Feeling the need to Make Up for Daddy Being an Arse'.

Ds is 14 and all he really asked for was ps3 games and a cube thing, pathetic little pile. I've bought him smellies, a calendar, sweets etc to try and give him Stuff To Open.

Dd's pile is much bigger because she's much younger and I can get lots more crap for the same amount of money, I always think how it looks like i'm spoiling the baby!

ChristinedePizanne · 14/12/2011 09:16

I have the opposite problem. I start buying stuff for DS in September (little bits), I got his main present in October (2 big boxes) and then have carried on buying little things because I forget I've already got him stuff. And I don't remember until I open the cupboard and find them. So the rest of my family will be arriving on Xmas morning and have about one present to open each and DS will have about 10, looking like a completely spoiled brat Xmas Blush

I might put most of it in his stocking so that they don't know