do you get the kids anything they want for xmas

[babyonbord]

i don't want to start a massive argument, i appreciate that everyone has different opinions but i am wondering if there are any likeminded people out there when it comes to buying your kids presents at christmas. My feeling is that as long as i can afford it (i understand some people cannot and that's different) the kids will get whatever they ask for regardless of how "overpriced" it is or whether they have 50 similar toys. i remember growing up how horrible it was being dissapointed on christmas day (which only happened when i didn't get the barbie mall i wanted but didn't actually exist) so i've got my ds1 everything he wanted and then some, as far as me and my dh are concerned the kids get what they want as long as it is physically doable regardless of how we feel about the toy.

So jealous, it's just cold and wet here or rather cold and icy lol. I remember one year my parents took us to this hotel in the lake district for christmas and the snow was so deep we had to get towed up the drive it was magical. I went into the disney store yesterday and was reminded so much of how exciting a trip there was when i was a child at christmas. I miss being a child, i miss getting excited over santa claus, and i look at my boys and know they have all that to look forward to.

My DCs don't get necessarily get everything they want (in theory

• in practice they'll get that and more because they've only asked for one large-ish present each and nothing else). However, at Christmas and birthdays I tend to buy things that I wouldn't buy at other times of the year due to being overpriced etc. For example, DS1 got a Nerf gun as part of his birthday which was £60. I think that's crazy money for what it is, but it fell within budget, he desperately wanted it and he loves it. Any other time of year he'd have had no chance!

On the other hand , DS1 asked for an XBox for Christmas and was told no. He has a PS3, a PSP and a DSi XL, plus we have a Wii. I think he knew before he asked what the answer would be!

I always find it a fine line between children appreciating the value/cost of things and being worried about things they needn't be a such a young age. I recently lost my job due to redundancy and my children have assumed of their own accord that we're now poor, which I suspect is why they've kept their Christmas lists very short. Unbeknown to them, it's business as usual this Christmas do hopefully they'll be pleasantly surprised :)

I agree with that, i think you do have to play the adult steer them away from pointless toys, an xbox is pointless if he has a ps3 given that the games are all the same anyway. I think there is a line and i do agree about buying things for them that i wouldn't buy during the year. Christmas to me is a free pass, i don't spoil my children all year round, christmas and birthdays are an exception to the rule.

My DD isn't getting what she really wants for xmas this year because that would be a tank of Madagascan Hissing Cockroaches and DH has vetoed it, the meanie. We have also vetoed her next suggestion of a second dachshund!

Apart from that, as ever what she unhelpfully requests is 'some suprises'.

BabyonBord weren't you on someone else's thread the other day, bragging about spending £2k on your kids presents? That should cover most things they ask for, no?

My parents didn't have a lot of money so we didn't get everything we asked for but they did try to get at least one thing that we actually wanted, usually the most robust, least rubbishy type of present.

I will mostly do the same for DS. He is only just 4, so he hasn't quite got the hang of Christmas lists yet, but he did ask for one thing (and only one) - so he will get that in his stocking. It's a blue unicorn - goodness only knows where he got the idea from but that's all he says when I ask him, so that's what he'll get.

He does ask if he can have stuff when he sees it advertised, or when he sees it in the shop - but that's in the moment. He forgets it soon enough when I say no - so I work on the principle that anything he remembers and still asks for after a while may be something that he would really like and play with.

I don't agree that a child's every whim should be satisfied though - disappointment is a part of life and learning how to deal with it in an appropriate manner is an enormously valuable life skill that needs to be learnt early, IMO.

absolutely not. They get a small toy (about £20 to £40) from us under the tree. I get them something I think they will like. They get some smaller presents in their stockings too. Again, things I know they will like. If they've asked for something, and it's in this price bracket or near it, and it's not the devil's own doodlepad, they can have it. But generally, I am the adult and I know what will be a waste of space and a waste of money, and which electronic toys will make their brains turn to peanut butter and ooze out of their ears.

Perhaps a little disappointment in childhood is no bad thing, to avoid raising a brood of "entitled" young adults. We could, if we chose, spend more, but the children have a lot of toys and don't need vast amounts more.

Really 2k? Although to be honest with the cost of most kids toys i can easily see how you could end up spending that much. My 2 are only young and i bet if i tallied it all up i'd be halfway there. If your kids are asking for games consoles and games and all the other billion and one gadgets you can buy nowadays 2k wouldn't stretch too far if you had 3 or 4 kids.

It's a tricky balance isn't it. Xmas brings up a lot of complicated feelings for me, and I've had depression for several years which is always worse in winter anyway.

My Christmases (and my December birthdays) were crap, not really because of the lack of money or presents, but because my parents put no effort in at all. Mum was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness, but 'left' as soon as she was old enough, and never really believed at all. She has often bemoaned the fact that she wasn't allowed to celebrate, and now it feels like I was being punished for it. Whereas IMO as a parent if there's something you didn't like about your own childhood, you try and fix it for your own child, right?

So, that coupled with mum never actually thinking "what would my DD like" - I've lost count of the times I've been given a scarf with mum saying "if you don't like it I'll keep it" - has built up a lot of resentment. It's not about 'stuff'.

I am desperate to give my DCs a wonderful Xmas no matter what presents they have. I have gone overboard this year and I am a tad ashamed of that, because I don't want them to be spoilt. I just like giving them stuff that they will love and get lots of use out of, and ATM they are too young to ask anyway. I got lots of board games for us to use as a family, as that is another thing that never happened as a kid, even now getting my parents to join in a game is like pulling teeth! But what I really want is to build up lots of traditions, like making decorations/food together, reading a new book on Xmas eve in new jammies, that sort of thing. I hope they'll remember that more than the presents.

Sorry I've gone on so long. This thread is like therapy

Just tallied up. I'm only a quarter of the way there, thats good, its always good when you find out you have spent less than you thought.

I agree with you, i remember my mum used to go out of her way to make christmas extra special. We used to read the night before xmas on xmas eve. I loved decorating the xmas tree as a family, this year my mum and stepdad came round to help us decorate ours, we set up the video camera and have a lovey video of my children with their grandparents. I used to love baking and me and my son made snowman cookies at the weekend together and we always used to watch miracle on 34th street on xmas eve. It's funny because the things i remember most are the little things like the christmas my mum forgot to put gelatine in the icing for the cake and you could have paved a road with it, those funny memories overshadow what presents i got bought. Its not just about how much you spend or what you buy it's the lenghts you go to to make christmas special for your children, so this year i'll be doing the santa snow footprints in the living room and wrapping their santa presents in special paper, we will be watching toy story 3 on christmas day together and mircale on 34th street on xmas eve, i will be reading them the night before christmas and of course they will be opening a mountain of presents. What i'm trying to say is that toys are great but without all the other things they are just that, toys and christmas might as well just be any other day.

waitingforchristmas I hope it was glycerine not gelatine that they forgot in the cake icing....

Otherwise it'd come out chewy

maybe was glycerine lol I just remeber it being hard as rock lol. I mentioned it to my mum the other day and she couldn't believe i remembered it. Ask me what i got that year though and i've no idea.

Its not just about how much you spend or what you buy it's the lenghts you go to to make christmas special for your children

Thank you waitingforchristmas you just summed up my enormous waffly post in one sentence!

I try to get mine something they'll like and have asked for but certainly not everything they want, especially dd who wrote a huge long list of stuff her friends have but didn't actually know what half of it was

DD asked for various dressing up outfits this year and I couldn't have afforded them new but managed to find a bundle on ebay with all but one of them in

But I have to admit I have gone for a ridiculously expensive and not really age appropriate present as well between them...they asked for an ipad after playing on various friends ones and as we do A LOT of long train journeys and my laptop is on it's last legs I could see how it could be useful so together with xh and one of their aunties have got an android tablet (less than half price) for them. It will be used strictly under my supervision though.

Have spent a bit more than I should have (about £150 between them all in-including stockings) but they will love what they have and none of it is tat i've bought for the sake of it

Your post pear tree made me see exactly what was so special about christmas for me as a child and what i'm trying to capture for mine, so keep the long waffly posts coming. xx

We don't do "Christmas lists" - as I child I never wrote a list - my parents would get us surprises.

Neither of the DDs can write yet in any case, but I'm not planning on introducing Christmas lists in the future; as far as I'm concerned, the giver gets to choose the present, not the receiver, which is what makes giving gifts so much fun.

There is no way I would give the DDs a present that I thought was a pile of junk, however much it cost. But I try very hard to choose things that will be loved.

I know DD1 will really love what I have got her this year, but she has no idea what it is, which in our family is the way it should be :)

Aw thanks wfc
I love the Xmas threads on here - especially ones about traditions. I steal lots of ideas from them :o

My two get the majority of what they want, but I do draw a line at certain things.

No chocolate coin maker (DD wants one) as its a pile of crap, no playdoh icecream factory (I don't want to spend my life cleaning it out), and no age-inappropriate toys (esp anything like guns).

Christmas as a child was boring for me - only child, dad was a vicar (chaplain of a large psychiatric hosp for many years), mum a social worker. Often they'd go out to visit the wards leaving me alone and bored, or I was allowed to go with them to play my violin to the patients. A couple of times no decorations went up, once we had Christmas lunch in the staff canteen (queue up for it like a normal day, then melamine plates) because it was free. One year (I was about 10) I got a duvet for my main present - no cover though so I couldn't even use it.

These days, we have made a few Christmas traditions of our own and will be hopefully having rather more fun. I know it's not all about presents or money, but you really can't imagine the let down of getting a duvet then being left home alone while your parents go out to do something "charitable". She was a funny one, my mother.

goingmad - I worry that ds finds family gatherings rather boring as he is the only child in the family. Whilst they all adore him, and without realising they do it, he does get sidelined a little.

This year I am having everyone here for Christmas so at least he can slope off to his room if the grownups get too boring ...though I do make sure he is involved. I've got a fab board game for this year which I hope he'll love and we can all play after dinner.

A duvet without cover as a Christmas present is .

A friend of mine once got from her dad a pack of 3 blank video tapes and a bottle of shampoo .

I know it's not all about presents but sometimes people forget what it's like to be a child.

Mogs, I'm sure he enjoys being the centre of attention! I know my youngest loves being the only little one around (she's 7, other 3 are 18, 16, 15).

16 years ago I'd just had dd2 - her twin died at 24h of a congenital heart problem - and Christmas was spent in hospital as she had very severe bronchiolitis and nearly died. That year I decided never to plan too far in advance but to make sure I cherished my family always but especially on Christmas day. Occasionally I go a bit OTT but never buy rubbish and would never ever go into debt. I know that the older ones know they are lucky to have nice stuff, and they look after it.

Mogs, I totally get what you mean about being sidelined - I too was the only child in a small family, and was always just tagging along with the grow ups, I don't think they really understood children at all, and never particularly tried - Xmas just amplified that.

Heres to never forgetting what it was like to be a child.

I get my boys some things that they ask for (DS1 asked for Scalextric and DS2 a DS, they've got those) but I talk them out of other things. They know I won't spend £40 on some rubbishy Scooby Doo house for example.
It's good for children to learn the value of money sometimes, but mine are 7 and 5 so I have had years of buying overpriced tat now!