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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

do you get the kids anything they want for xmas

151 replies

babyonbord · 08/12/2011 08:47

i don't want to start a massive argument, i appreciate that everyone has different opinions but i am wondering if there are any likeminded people out there when it comes to buying your kids presents at christmas. My feeling is that as long as i can afford it (i understand some people cannot and that's different) the kids will get whatever they ask for regardless of how "overpriced" it is or whether they have 50 similar toys. i remember growing up how horrible it was being dissapointed on christmas day (which only happened when i didn't get the barbie mall i wanted but didn't actually exist) so i've got my ds1 everything he wanted and then some, as far as me and my dh are concerned the kids get what they want as long as it is physically doable regardless of how we feel about the toy.

OP posts:

hmc · 10/12/2011 21:38

I believe Edward Lear used a similar sentence structure (what a beautiful pussy you are, you are) - but doubtless he doesn't pass muster either .

I can't bear people who pick others up on spelling and grammar - so rude and boorish. Can you really not see that?

ReshapeWhileDamp · 10/12/2011 23:42

Um, I wasn't that bothered myself by the OP's posting style, but her 'stream of consciousness' style perhaps isn't the easiest to understand. Anyway.

Not sure I'll get DSs everything they want, but at this innocent stage, DS1 isn't quite 4 and his scope extends to dinosaurs, new Thomas trains and maybe a dvd or two.

But I don't think I agree with getting a child everything they want. I don't like the 'feast:fast' thing where Christmas/birthdays are the be-all and end-all of present-giving - pile it high - and that's it for the rest of the year. Far more healthy to give them only what they can cope with at Christmas or on their birthday, but perhaps spring the odd surprise on them during the year. And what happens if a child gets absolutely everything they've asked for? Man's reach must exceed his grasp, etc.

Last year, what with extremely generous gifts from grandparents and aunties/uncles, and with what we'd got him, DS1 really would have had more presents than he could deal with. We doled them out over the whole Christmas period but still had a couple in summer, which he had then. I don't think it does young children a service to give them so much that they get jaded, or don't know what to play with first.

wangle99 · 11/12/2011 08:48

The children write a 'like' list but not for Father Christmas instead for me. I have many relatives who ask what they can get and so much easier to consult a list for ideas. Both do know they won't get everything but hopefully they'll get something

GeorgeEliot · 11/12/2011 08:52

Attitudes like the OP's are fuelling the consumerist culture which caused the riots this summer.

fivegomadindorset · 11/12/2011 08:52

No because then we would be buyiing everything that they see on TV. They are getting a Wii this year, second hand, DD has played on one and liked it and did ask but we were always going to get it anyway.

KinkyDoritoWithFairyLightsOn · 11/12/2011 08:54

Don't criticise how another person uses grammar and structure unless yours is meticulous.

mummakaz · 11/12/2011 19:14

No my dc's do not get everything they want but I do try and get the smaller things they want.

I bought my ds a second hand wii with 10 games, accessories and a wii fit board in the summer at a bargain price. He keeps going on and on about wanting a wii recently but has said he knows he won't be getting one as it's a lot of money.

I can't wait to see his face mas morning

hmc · 12/12/2011 16:49

That's lovely mammakaz

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 12/12/2011 21:44

I don't personally like the idea of getting DCs to look through a catalogue. I guess it makes some sense for teens who can really think about what they want, but DD would just circle everything and not really think about it.

A few people mentioned that they don't have any lists and just chat about it and listen for clues generally - that's what I'd like, TBH - how easy is that to stick to though, when children get older and presumably hear about others' lists? Do they feel left out?

goingmadinthecountry · 12/12/2011 22:24

This year my dcs will get everything they've asked for, but to be honest they haven't asked for much. Youngest has a bit of a list - couple of DVDs, making things kits, an annual. Dd2 wants a CD. Ds has asked for a bike but offered his birthday money towards it (we're not taking it - he needs a bike anyway) and all dd1 has asked for is a poster of Winston Churchill and a book about near death experiences! We can afford stuff but they seem to have grown up knowing we work hard for our money.

In truth they'll all get more than they've asked for.

BUT I worry about the "can't afford it" line if you can afford it - I bought ds (15) a coat today - he needed one - and he was seriously concerned that he'd persuaded me to buy one that was more expensive than I could afford. I also remember dd1 (now 18) being very concerned as a toddler after I avoided buying a Happy Meal saying I couldn't afford it. Now I just say no it's overpriced junk if they ask for something I don't want to buy.

My kids have far less stuff than some of their friends whose parents I know struggle to buy things they don't even appreciate.

serin · 12/12/2011 23:05

Goingmadinthecountry, I am in total agreement with you!

My DC's will all be getting far more than they have asked for (they have asked for hardly anything at all).

I grew up knowing that my parents would go into debt over the Christmas period and that is not something I ever want our children to be stressed about.

For our family Christmas is not all about giving gifts but then we are Christians

Haziedoll · 12/12/2011 23:09

No. I was fairly spoilt as a child but there were still things that I asked for but didn't get.

Ds1 has asked for a hotwheels track, he
won't be getting one as he already has loads that he doesn't play with. He also
won't be getting an x box kinnect because we already have a wii. He is getting lots of other things that he has asked for.

befuzzled · 12/12/2011 23:23

Try and tread the middle ground. They get quite a lot - not massively expensive things but a generally one of all the type of things they would like (the dont ask for very much, I still decide what they would like & and 4). 7y old asked for an ipad and I was pretty firm about telling him Father Christmas would not consider that appropriate for a 7y old. They have lots of lower value things to open on Christmas Day though. Spend too much on Lego and Wii games though .....

waitingforchristmas · 14/12/2011 11:08

I think it's a bit harsh to moan about someones' grammer on a forum, people are often busy and don't have time or can't be bothered to edit it. It's pedantic and silly, if it's giving you a headache maybe go read a different thread, pfft.
Anyway my 2 boys are only young. I've bought my baby a lot this year but it's toys i want him to have as he is too young to have an opinion. My eldest child doesn't quite understand the concept yet so hasn't specifically asked for anything, however he does point at things he wants in adverts or the catalogues we have and say mine. I have bought him everything he has indicted a desire for and a lot of things he hasn't. I don't think there is anything wrong with spoiling your children at christmas if you can afford to do so. I'd never get into masses of debt over christmas just to give the kids what they want. So long as i can afford to do so the kids will get whatever they ask for.
I don't think the ops opinion has anything to do with the riots, spoiling your children a little bit at certain times of the year does not mean they are going to behave in such a disgusting way. I was spoilt rotten as a child, i got everything i wanted, which meant my parents had more to take off me when i misbehaved. I think it taught me to appreciate that i was lucky and that not everyone had the same advantges that i had. I know my parents worked hard to give me what i wanted and they must have made a few sacrifices. They taught me that if you behave and treat people and their property with proper respect and consideration you will get what you want in life. I still hold to that. I'm more interested in teaching my children to respect themselves and other people than saying no all the time.

CMOTdibbler · 14/12/2011 11:15

No. But my ds has asked for a puppy and a baby brother. He will get neither. He also had to understand that as theres not much family (he'll get presents from 4 people), that he can't expect a huge number of things

waitingforchristmas · 14/12/2011 11:32

Me and my dh can't wait for my sons to ask for a puppy, we have 2 dogs already and want a third but have decided to wait till the kids ask for a puppy before we get one.

PickledHegg · 14/12/2011 11:35

My DD who is 5 and DSS who is 12 haven't asked for much this year. What they have asked for, I got for them. I would be torn apart on MN if I reveal what presents they do have this year, but I am not ashamed of buting them what I know will be appriciated.

We have spent an awful lot on them both, but, we can afford it and have certainly not gotten into any debt for Christmas.

I totally agree with everything OP has stated, I would not want my children to worry about money at their age, even though they both know the value and save most, if not all of their pocket money/gifts of money throughout the year. My mum had a particularly tough time when my sisters and I were little and always got in debt, even just for one small present each. Although she never told us how hard she found it, it was pretty obvious and made us all worry.

Same for DP's childhood. So now we are in a position to make our childrens christmas magical, we enjoy the opportunity. They are both very good children and we tell them all year that if they are good year round and have excellent school reports, they will be rewarded at Christmas.

waitingforchristmas · 14/12/2011 11:46

I agree wholeheartdly with pickledhegg. I know it's materialistic but for children the magic of christmas is in the presents, there is nothing wrong with that. I used to be present mad as a child and now i don't even care that my dh has not yet wrapped any of my gifts, i'm more interested in making my children and my dh, the biggest kid of all happy.
I don't dare say what i have bought for mine either it is somewhat excessive but i don't care it's my money and i can spend it how i like.
There are things i can't give my ds1, i can't give him the perfect family like his brother will have, but i can give him a magical christmas with an obscene amount of gifts. There is plenty of time for my children to grow up and become an adult with all the stress and worry that brings, i don't want them to have that as a child. You don't get a very long childhood so i want to make it as special for them as i can while i can.

PickledHegg · 14/12/2011 11:51

Awwwww waitingforchristmas that is so sweet, I feel exactly the same. I just love December and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of the year (its even snowing as I write this! Eeeeeeek!). I agree, I couldn't care less what I have, so long as the kids are happy and buzzing with excitement.

I love spoiling DP too, even though I don't spend much on him, I still make sure he gets a magical time too.

Ragwort · 14/12/2011 11:54

I love Christmas too but to me the magical times are about so much more than the presents, I find it really sad if children think Christmas is just about what they get under the tree .

waitingforchristmas · 14/12/2011 12:06

I'm not saying that's all christmas is about, it's about more than that, but for a young child gifts are a big part. I'm not religous or spiritual, i like the nativity story and have bought my ds1 a book about the birth of jesus, but to me that's all it is a story.
I love christmas though, i love the smell of the tree and the lights and the cold and the snow. (So jealous of you pickledhegg we have no snow yet :() I love being around family and the food, especially the food. At the moment my children are too young to understand so much, but to me the excitment was in all the little traditions our family had as much as the presents, and that's what i've tried to do for my 2 boys this year. But christmas is about the spirit of giving and as a mother there is no one else in the world i would rather give to than my children. I don't think anyone has a right to criticise a mother for that, i give them as much as i can afford to. They won't always get everything they want, i think my eldest would like a dragon, unfortunatly that is beyond my means lol, but if i can physically get them what they want then i will do.

waitingforchristmas · 14/12/2011 12:07

Plus santa if it's possible can we please have some snow, please please please, please i want snow.

PickledHegg · 14/12/2011 12:16

Totally agree waitingforchristmas. I love all things that mean Christmas, chilling out with the family, cheesy DVDs, long walks after Christmas dinner, making a snowman.

But, ragwort, as an extremely family orientated person (mine and DPs entire family all live within 15mins of each other) all those things, we do on a weekly basis. I too am not religious. The magic for my 5yr old is Santa, his reindeer and snow. This all falls back to presents. I can wholehartedly say, everything I but my children, I can afford. Why does it make you sad that children think the magic of christmas is in the presents/santa?

PickledHegg · 14/12/2011 12:17

waitingforchristmas it has been snowing here since yeasterday (on and off) LUSH

An0therName · 14/12/2011 12:24

I think it does really depend how you were brought up. My parents don't spend loads on xmas - and my mum is truly an awful present buyer - she has many many good qualitie but present buying is not one of them. I try and do the middle ground - get them things they want - I know they will enjoy but not loads and loads - my DS1's birthday is also just before xmas whic complicates things a bit - so I do get him a few things during the year - sofor instance when he needed a new bike we just bought it - its wasn't expensive but it was approx june and we didn't want to wait till xmas

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