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Original poster

Make up for a 12 year old? dh say's no :(

40 replies

Marne · 30/11/2011 11:09

Dsd is 12 (going on 16), she's the youngest of my step children so is quite grown up, i have noticed she has started wearing make up but dh thinks she's too young to be wearing it. I have bought her a small make up set (eye shadow, lip gloss type things) but dh is not that happy about it. Is 12 too young for make up? i think dh is being a bit silly as she's going to wear it if he likes it or not, i would rather she had some nice make up rather than borrowing her mums nasty stuff.

OP posts:
WTFlike · 30/11/2011 11:11

YABU. Too young.

WTFlike · 30/11/2011 11:12

And I like the little dig you got in at his ex there!

Original poster
Marne · 30/11/2011 11:16

It wasn't a dig at all, i am actually friends with the ex (well i talk to her more than dh), i'm not a make up person (hardly ever wear it), i prefer pale colours rather than bright blue and green eye shadow from poundland and i know dsd has sensitive skin so will need better make up.

OP posts:
HeidiHole · 30/11/2011 11:18

YABU much too young

Sevenfold · 30/11/2011 11:29

not too young to experiment, I think fine if it is just light make up.
never a good idea to borrow someones make up as aan older person would wear more iynwim.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 30/11/2011 11:33

Nope, 12 isn't too young at all, so long as she isn't caking it on.

Get her some nice, decent quality stuff in tasteful colours.

bananamam · 30/11/2011 11:33

I don't think it's a bad thing. My dd is only 2 and likes to muck around with it, as does my DS. They view it in the same way as paint and crafts. 12 is a different thing. My niece is 11 and I got her makeup last year. She wants to learn how to use it, mostly she plays with her friends, doing each others hair and makeup etc. I think if it's kept fun and light and she knows she is beautiful without it more than she is with it, no harm at all.

If you ban it she will only do it at friends anyway surely?...note I do not have a 12 year old yet! Grin

colditz · 30/11/2011 11:37

YANBU not too young at all.

IDontDoIroning · 30/11/2011 11:41

I think it could be the forbidden fruit type of thing if you forbid it entirely. She is growing up whether your dh likes it or not and will probably want this to be recognised.

I think it's very niaive (sp) to think a 12 year old won't be beginning to be interested in make up she's probably in secondary school and is mixing with older girls also you don't know about her friends and what they are having bought for them. She will probably be feeling left out.
I have a 12yo and have bought her make up which I have chosen like a lightly tinted moisturiser clear lip gloss, pale eyeshadows etc. I monitor how much she wears and when but I don't forbid it totally ( obviously none to school but a bit on a weekend if out with friends).
You can get some really nice sets aimed at girls her age and I'm sure she would be thrilled with it.
The alternative is she spends her pocket money, on it borrows friends or her mums and slaps it on when you or dh isn't around.

PinkFondantFancy · 30/11/2011 11:43

Too young in my opinion

Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast · 30/11/2011 11:46

YANbU, i don't think it's too young for a little make-up, nothing heavy mind, god i was putting it on at that age on the way to school on the bus :)

Maryz · 30/11/2011 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 30/11/2011 11:46

Crikey - people where buying my DD make up kits from about age 7 - only for messing about with at home.

She is also 12 now and for some unknown reason likes to wear face powder (something I have never done) and a hint of mascara and lipstick when she is going out. Very subtle.

YANBU

ExitPursuedByaBear · 30/11/2011 11:49

Thanks for the tip Maryz - have just ordered the book for DD.

Original poster
Marne · 30/11/2011 11:54

Thank you Maryz that looks perfect.

I think she has been wearing it for a few months (sinse she started high school), she's not very confident as she has weight issues so i guess the make up helps her feel better about herself. She's quite grown up for her age (has had to grow up fast due to issues at home) and she has 2 adult sisters so see's them wearing make up.

OP posts:
Listzilla · 30/11/2011 11:55

I don't think whether or not she's too young is the point here. I think this decision is for her parents to make, and if they can't agree about it, you're probably better off staying out of it and getting her something that won't cause friction.

reckoner · 30/11/2011 11:57

I (and most of the girls in my class) wore mascara at 12 in 1990. Nothing else. This is what DD will be allowed at that age.

Theas18 · 30/11/2011 12:05

Buy her something lovely and suitable (and subtle) and teach her how to use it. Sharing make up with mates is the way to spread infections- esp conjuncitvitis and cold sores so she's better off with her own.

My 12 yr has a bit of make up and wears powder (they are just paranoid about "shiny " noses!) mascara and lip gloss when not at school. Its all very natural (if you are really worried then clear mascara is a good start, browny black rather than black is subtle too). Can't say her lip gloss is v subtle when it goes on, but it doesn't last 2 minutes (I don't tell her that bit!).

EnjoyResponsibly · 30/11/2011 12:12

I'd do it. But I'd also take her to Clinique or Bobby Brown in your nearest department store for a demo. She'll learn how to apply and to buy less of better quality stuff.

KinkyDoritoWithFairyLightsOn · 30/11/2011 12:26

I don't think she's too young in the respect that girls 'play' with it at that age and some of the suggestions here about going for demos, etc, are lovely. Also, if her Mum lets her wear it I don't understand why it should be an issue.

However, ultimately, you are with your DH and it's your relationship with him that matters. If he isn't comfortable with it, then I think that's his decision to make. You can point out why you disagree, but I wouldn't push it. There's so many other things you can treat her to without causing upset. Is it really worth the stress? If you want something girly and nice to do with her/treat her to, take her shopping for some clothes or accessories.

KinkyDoritoWithFairyLightsOn · 30/11/2011 12:29

I might order that book for my DD now... curses, I was supposed to STOP BUYING THINGS Grin.

upatdawn · 30/11/2011 12:56

I would agree with you in this instance. My 12yo DD is allowed to wear mascara (because she wants to) and concealer (because she is sporty and therefore is getting quite prone to having outbreaks already). She also chooses to wear eyeshadow and lipgloss for special occasions such as friends birthday parties etc. Tbh DH doesn't actually notice when she just has concealer and mascara as she wears so little! So maybe getting her something like that would be a bit of a comprimise?

Bonsoir · 30/11/2011 12:58

I think that a little mascara and tinted lipgloss is fine for 12 year olds, with perhaps some toenail varnish with summer sandals.

misdee · 30/11/2011 13:12

YANBU

i bought my dd1 her own make up sets last year to stop her raiding mine. i pointed out to dh that the risk of sharing germs and bugs through make up is high and i would prefer her to have her own stuff to experiemnt with.

toutlemonde · 30/11/2011 13:17

I'm with Listzilla - you're a step parent, if her dad says no, then don't do it!

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