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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Anyone else have issues with GP's and presents?

57 replies

Pigleychez · 28/10/2011 11:21

My mum has asked for a list for the girls. I emailed her some links this morning and now is saying i'll have to see what Santa brings.

Why she cant give me an idea of what shes getting i dont know! Its not like im going to tell the kids. I just want an idea so I don't duplicate on anything plus the Inlaws have been asking so what she doesnt want to get I can suggest to them. But now I dont know what to suggest to them as I dont know what shes going to be getting.
Grr.

Next year I will just give her one toy and say buy them that!

Anyones elses family awkward about presents?

OP posts:

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 28/10/2011 11:23

You emailed this morning. You can't expect her to have decided what to buy already.

Original poster

Pigleychez · 28/10/2011 11:32

She was sat waiting for my email as she was going to do it all online this morning. She says she knows what shes getting just wont tell us.

OP posts:

ben5 · 28/10/2011 11:34

we dont let grandparents get anything. we ask them how much they would like to spend and then we go shopping. suits them and us!

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 28/10/2011 11:36

In that case she's just being awkward. Explain the situation and hope that she just tells you. Otherwise, keep the reciepts...

ScroobiousPip · 28/10/2011 11:42

Like FFFFs suggestion. How about 'well, if you won't tell me, can you please give me the receipt just in case she gets the same present from someone else?'

hophophippidtyhop · 28/10/2011 12:54

would she pass on the unused ideas directly to the other gps? That way they get the list and she's happy you haven't seen it. I know what you mean though about wanting to pass the unused ideas on - the pain of coming up with ideas, then not being used and having to rack your brains for more ideas as you don't know what's off the list! I did an amazon list last time and it still screwed up as people bought ' off the list'

Thzumbazombiewitch · 28/10/2011 13:03

So far, we have managed to keep MIL under "control" when it comes to presents, in that we suggest what DS might like from her. What pisses me off is that she suggests she'll come shopping with me for presents, and then when I find the thing I want to get DS for his birthday/Christmas, she tries to pay for it and gets upset if I refuse. I know she's only being nice, but it's our present for him - if she pays for every bloody thing, it won't feel like we have got him anything ourselves!

This year she did utterly piss me off though by producing a cheap and nasty bike (from Aldi, FFS!) in the middle of the year, nowhere near his birthday - it's a bike! A BIG present. Something I was looking forward to choosing for his birthday/Christmas this year (he'll be 4 in December). DH's brain went AWOL and he actually put the damn thing together instead of telling her to take it away and bring it back at birthday time - so DS saw it and now he goes on about his "bike in the garage". What annoyed me more is that last year he got a balance bike - but he won't use it now because the one MIL got him has stabilisers - so that was a waste of money :(.

As you can see, time hasn't diminished the annoyance over this one. And I'm even less happy that she has told him Santa is bringing him a trampoline for Christmas, because yes, that IS what we had planned to get him for Christmas - way to ruin the surprise, Grandma! and :(.

EVERYONE else is more than happy for me to ask them how much they want to spend and then allocate presents accordingly - but MIL is one of those people who equates spending money on someone to how much she loves them, or something like that - she got all emotional over the bike and went on about "she's allowed to buy her only grandson presents if she wants to" - failing completely to understand our point.

Ok, enough ranting.

BikeRunSki · 28/10/2011 13:08

i tell each set of gps different things.

Tinkerisdead · 28/10/2011 13:12

Ah i had this so now i write a list myself and allocate off it. So my mum has been suggested duplo, mil dolls cot. I know they look to spend about fifty quid and often they started bulking it out with random toys that were either duplicated or ignored so now i say clothes if they say they arent up to their limit. I dont even tell them what else is on the list now.

oreocrumbs · 28/10/2011 13:13

My MIL goes waaaaay OTT and really spends a fortune on not very suitable gifts so this year I gave her a massive list with plenty of very different things on - was then going to pass on to the rest of the family making it clear to all that 1 gift was more than sufficient DD is only 14MO. Well she has bought the lot. Everything. It's half of bloody ELC. Have no idea what I'm going to do with it all. It's very kind - please don't think I'm ungrateful but honestly shes a baby and would probably rather just have a cardboard box!

PrimaBallerina · 28/10/2011 13:13

zumbazombie you've made me laugh with that post. I love a good rant

TheRealMrsHannigan · 28/10/2011 13:24

I have the problem that in-laws ask for ideas, then take absolutely no notice and buy some obscure unrelated crap item that sits unplayed with for the next year. Last years gem was a pair of roller skates, labelled as age 4+ for my just turned 2 year old

Thzumbazombiewitch · 28/10/2011 13:29

Glad to have made you smile, Prima! I ranted away on FB as well and then my sis completely ruined it by coming on and saying "at least your son has a grandma who buys him things" because her MIL never buys anything for my nieces, she hasn't that much money and is extremely a bit selfish anyway. Really ruins a good rant when someone comes and does that to you!

Pigley - your mum is being extremely childish not to tell you what she has bought. Tell her so. Remind her that it's not your present that she has bought and that you are no longer all dewy-eyed over what Father Christmas might have brought for you - you are well over that. And will give the list to everyone else as well, so if her presents are doubled up by another relative, hers will have to go back (for being so silly).

ChaosTrulyReigns · 28/10/2011 13:31

Erm.

What does she mean "wait and see what Santa brings"?

Whorulestheroost · 28/10/2011 13:37

We do the amazon wish list for our dcs so the gp buy from that and we can see what's left. We also have inlaws abroad and we do the same for each others children.

NatashaBee · 28/10/2011 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Pigleychez · 28/10/2011 14:05

Glad to hear its not just me!

Ive told her its not going to spoil my surprise as the presents arent for me! Its annoying as there a few things on the list that I know she would love and if she isnt going to get them then the Inlaws will. Dont want to have to come up with another list (of things for the sake of it) for the inlaws.

Yes.. she is childish... but thats her way.

The Amazon list sounds good but I know she will just go and buy it somewhere else and ruin the whole idea of the list.
The Inlaws ask for ideas, I give them 2 or 3 and they buy them... simple as!

With you too on the inappropriate gifts too.. I 'think' I heard something about Moondough for my DD2 who is 17mths! Im hoping she meant DD1 who is 3!

OP posts:

WhatWouldLeoDo · 28/10/2011 14:30

Both my parents and IL's ask for lists so I normally do two different ones. It's a pain though. Could you just give the same list to the IL's and tell her that you've done that? If the ILs tell you what they buy then you can tell your mum and if she's got the same thing then the onus would be on her to change it for something else?

hophophippidtyhop · 28/10/2011 19:10

realmrshannigan, yes, it usually went, ask me for some ideas, I spent some time looking for them, or giving some toy websites so they could pick and chose themselves. Gps then would leave it til a week or less before needed and go and buy something completley different! |I don't really like giving a list of presents, but pil like one. Did an amazon list to try and save future effort on my part, but they didn't reaslise about clicking on the wish list, hence my sister then doubles up on a present.

Sparklingbrook · 28/10/2011 19:19

I am new to Mumsnet. I have just proved it because I clicked on this thread thinking someone didn't know what to buy their Doctor for Christmas.

Moblem · 28/10/2011 20:19

Mrs Hannigan - My Ils do exactly that! It is so infuriating. I feel your pain.

To make things worse, they also refuse to buy things they don't like. For example, when my DD was 2, she loved the Teletubbies and so we asked lots of teletubby related items. But MIL refused to buy any on grounds that she didn't like the teletubbies. And there I was thinking it was a present for my DD. Silly me.

My mum also does the same as zombiewitch, but thankfully as she is my mum I can at least tell her off .

Christmas and parents can be a mare imho.

openerofjars · 28/10/2011 20:33

Oh God. One of my MILs buys age-inappropriate crap, usually months in advance, refuses to keep receipts etc. She got DS (2yo) a MASSIVE Halloween outfit age 3-4y and is going on about getting him a drum kit this year for Christmas. That'll go nicely in our terraced house with thin walls, especially when the new baby arrives. The baby will probably have to sleep in the snare drum because there won't be room for a cot.

Why do relatives who do this always get so offended when you protest that their present idea might need a rethink? I got told to take the trousers up on this bloody bat costume and that "Grandparents are for buying things that mean mums and dads won't buy".

I have told her I will bloody well eBay any drum kit that makes it over the threshold, and spend the proceeds on gin.

Rugbylovingmum · 28/10/2011 20:41

I would just tell your mum that if she doesn't tell you what she has you'll just have to pass the whole list on to your in-laws (and anyone else who wants to buy a pressie) and hope that they don't buy the same thing. I'm sure she'll want her pressie to be unique and tell you what she has bought .

neverever · 28/10/2011 20:41

Thzumbazombiewitch my mil does that too, comes shopping with me then whatever I want to buy for dc's she says oh no I will get that! Grr love her to bits really :) she drives me bonkers tho, a few years ago she knew we were buying a wooden dolls house for dd1 Xmas it was her big Santa present and a month before she bought some cheep nasty plastic one for her house and gave it to her, in bloody november I was seething!

ByThePowerOfGreyskullsOnIpad · 28/10/2011 21:39

send her an email or call her and let her know that you are concerned because you have given the il,s the smae list

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