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Original poster

Anyone else not doing xmas gifts this year?

26 replies

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 19:46

We have had some big bills, and need some major lifestyle adjustments to get through the next 18 months. I have always put money aside for xmas, but that has now been wiped out by unexpected problems.

DH and I have agreed that we'll buy small gifts for our DC (1&3) and that's it. No-one else. Nada.

We let all our siblings and parents know. Everyone has been fine. Fully understands our predicament. We'll contribute food and drink and have a lovely time, but I feel a huge weight off our shoulders.

Luckily the DCs are too young to understand, and we should get back on our feet before they do!

Anyone else doing the same?

OP posts:
Overtiredmum · 06/09/2011 19:57

We are doing similar, only buy for our DCs and other children within the family, i.e. nieces, nephews etc. but certainly no presents for adults or each other. We did it last year and it was much better and saves so much worrying about money and what to buy etc. DS and DD are 6 and 2 respectively, luckily DD still of an age to receive a cardboard box and be ecstatic about it, DS probably slightly more difficult.

We told everyone we were doing this and that we wouldn't be buying any adults a present and that we did not expect anything.

In all honesty, it seems to have set a precedent in our house now, and something we will continue with for the coming years.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 20:25

I felt a bit bad about not buying for nieces/nephews but they always get loads of stuff from other family members, so they won't miss it. (They're also little too). I did debate doing homemade shit gifts, but I did truffles last year, and I still spent loads on the ingredients. Then I worried about looking cheap.

OP posts:
LordOfTheFlies · 06/09/2011 21:41

We buy for DC , DH and I get a present from each other ( I buy mine from QVC, he buys his from Amazon, so we get what we want. Grin )

We don't buy for adults, but I send my mum and MIL flowers or a florist table arrangement.
We've done this by mutual consent for years.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 21:47

QVC? Prey tell, what is your gift of choice? is it this? I hope so Envy

Grin
OP posts:
butterscotch · 06/09/2011 22:07

We only buy for kids in family my side and do secret santa for the adults £20 last year....

This year dropping to £10 preferred option is home-made....

This is because my cousins n partners are students and my bro n SIL are skint (she doesn't work)......

I suggested it xmas before last year.... I organise it all, I get everyone to send me a list of at least three things they would like (on the understanding its SS so they might not get - might be a jokey pressie - especially for my uncle!) last year everyone was really happy with it so we are doing it again this year but droppping to £10 because of my cousin and his gf mainly...... but tbh she will make something (very arty)

For school teachers I make home made gingerbread (dance teachers as well) and some wooden xmas decs (tescos in sale box of 12 for £3 then 2 for 3!) put in some tissue paper and cellofane wrap with ribbon, job done! Did that for a few friends that buy for DC as well as us....God DC to make gingerbread....

Loads of stuff can be done homemade and cheaper!

I make xmas cakes for family as presents as well...

Original poster
sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 22:16

That does sound nice. It's the effort people appreciate I'm sure.

We did do secret santa amongst adult siblings last year, but as DH and I both have a few siblings it just all added up.

My DS has been diagnosed with some food allergies (nice addition to the grocery bill Hmm) so although he's young, I don't think I could bring myself to start wafting wheat based treats around!

I keep telling myself we have years ahead of us to do more, but this year we need our cash more than anyone else

OP posts:
KinkyDorito · 07/09/2011 08:23

We do adult secret santa too as the cost was getting ridiculous. However, if I was in your situation I would absolutely do what you are doing (and there is a possibility I soon might be). I hope things turn around for you soon.

LordOfTheFlies · 07/09/2011 12:17

sneakybeak no Grin I'm not that bad (yet).
I own no Kirks Folly. Or Butler and Wilson, some of that is cack

At least QVC do the 30 day money back guarentee Wink

MrsRobertDuvall · 07/09/2011 12:24

We only buy for dcs and each other.
Have done for years.
Not so much a money issue but We never see dh's family , and I only have a brother with grown up children.
I got sick of getting nasty crap from MIL so about 8 years ago said we were no longer wanted presents from them. Dh buys a subscription or something for his dad who is now widowed.
The relief of not trawling the shops looking for something for someone you neither know nor particularly like is liberating.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 07/09/2011 12:34

I think it is quite liberating too... My MIL either gets it so right or so wrong. There's no inbetween. Although I do quite fancy that brooch Grin

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 09/09/2011 21:02

I really want to do this.... but how to broach and what boundaries? I have bought for all my nephews and nieces over the years, been given lists, catalogue numbers, etc etc. Got very little thanks over the years!

I now have one 3yr old Dd and one due November. We just don't have the spare money this year. Both DP and I have sisters who really like the whole present thing - but give silly expensive gifts but it such a lot of money for things people don't really need.

If we say just kids - what is the age limit? SIL thinks her twenty year olds are her kids so should get presents. All the kids (except mine!!) are now teenagers and ask for vouchers or money. Hardly the magic or spirit of Christmas.

Last year, I set a budget limit and told family but DP never got round to telling his folk and shopped on Christmas Eve and in desperation just blew the limit across the board so spent twice as much as me.

Any wisdom out there?

Original poster
sneakybeak · 09/09/2011 21:04

Crikey - that's hard.

I can PM you a copy of my email if that would help?? I think if it's worded right, people can't really argue. As long as you don't expect gifts for your own family how can people complain?

OP posts:
MrsRobertDuvall · 09/09/2011 21:05

Just tell them!
Explain your reasons and smile.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 09/09/2011 21:06

presumably any older nieces and nephews have 'benefited' from your gift giving for much longer than their parents have had to give for your DC?

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 09/09/2011 21:50

Yes Sneakybeak, I have spent a lot of money on nieces and nephews over the years.

I know from last year DB, will just be a bit mean anyway. I told him about the limit (£10 per child). He reciprocated and bought my DD the cheapest gift ever, I was almost embarrassed in front of DP as his 3 kids have all flat screens, iphones, they have everything they want.

Sorry for the hijack! I'd love to see how you have explained to family in your email, thank you! Smile.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 10/09/2011 19:16

I've PM'd you the email (with X's where people's names should be!)

HTH

OP posts:
mogs0 · 10/09/2011 22:55

I suggested a secret Santa to my family last year. It wasn't well received! I might have another go at suggesting it for this Christmas.

Original poster
sneakybeak · 11/09/2011 10:11

What did your family actually say? I think it's such a shame to coerced/expected to spend your ££ for other people's sake.

OP posts:
twinklytroll · 11/09/2011 10:24

We never really do Christmas presents. we buy dd something small , give out a few homemade things and that is it. Dp and I stopped buying each other Christmas an birthday presents years ago.

LadyOfTheManor · 11/09/2011 12:51

We (dh and I) buy only for the children and our parents...and we make our ds sacrifice a toy to the children's hospital before he gets anything new.

Christmas isn't about gifts in our household, it's a religious festival!

mogs0 · 11/09/2011 16:55

If you have stopped buying Christmas gifts, have you also stopped buying birthday gifts too?

LadyOfTheManor · 11/09/2011 16:56

We never really bothered with birthday gifts, again only for the children. Tend to stick to cards and flowers for everyone else.

twinklytroll · 11/09/2011 17:27

We don't do birthday gifts, even for dd tbh.

I am aware I am coming across as a scrooge. I certainly do not do cards/

Original poster
sneakybeak · 11/09/2011 19:29

My DS will be 2 soon. He is due a bookstart pack. I am seriously considering wrapping the bits up and calling that his gift. Is that awful??

OP posts:
twinklytroll · 11/09/2011 19:30

No I think it is very sensible.

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