I have an idea to radically change Christmas for all mumsnetters. NO blithering appeal.

[Northernlurker]

I've been here since 2007. In that time I've seen mnay happy appeal posts and a lot of unhappy ones. Last year we had the ungrateful issue with people not thanking and we had the organisational issue and we had the stressed donors with no time to shop and we had people getting stuff way after Christmas. The year before there were definately suggestions of people joinging mnet to profit from the appeal. Now this year in AUGUST we've had the who is or isn't popular enough to be allowed to do it - the threads concerning that have hit a new low tbh.

So how about NO appeal. Just keep your eyes open and if you're on a thread with somebody having a hard time give them your e-mail or get thm to CAT you and then you can send them something one to one. Or give a mum friend you know in RL a gift to cher thenm/help them out. No organisation, no fuss, no ego - just friends on and off line showing each other love at Christmas.

I have nothing against a MN donation or appeal to help the flood victims in Pakistan. I will however be donating to them anyway and think thatbit is completely different thing.

The Christmas appeal is a lovely way for mnetters who do not have much cash but would like to help others even less fortunate than themselves. I like the thought that by sending a small gift I have brought a smile to the face of a stranger.

Over the years MNetters have sent me things that I cannot buy in Switzerland. It is great that we have such fab people on MN who are willing to post an advent calendar or a Tunnocks hat to a complete stranger.

Well I'm still gutted that the whip-round for TWR was completely fake :(

I'm not donating for a long while unless I know the person it's going to.

I felt utterly humiliated

Have already given to the DEC for Pakistan appeal.

I dont think anyone is saying norma did anything but a good job

I think the point is that although there are friendships made on here and some endure in rl for years for the most part we are all strangers behind a screen

This means most of the time we dont know the circumstances of the giver or the receiver and this makes it really hard for everyone involved! Is the receiver really in need? does the sender have time to shop and send? Will the receiver be grateful or actually sell it on ebay?? Will the person saying they will send renage when something ese crops up for their own kids which uses up their cash??

Its just so open to abuse. That said when its used properly by both sides then its a fabulous example of christmas spirit and can bring a smile to a small childs face.. what parent wouldnt want to do that

so what is the answer..?? I dont know I really dont

I admire anyone who is willing to organise/get involved in this project

there.. that was a useful contribution wasnt it??..NOT!!

Who was twr?

Correct.
Quite clever with it too. Posted often, had other MNers vouch for her, big sob story, creamed money, humiliated me and countless others......all part of her fun I suppose..... Fucker!

I remember a thread not too long ago where she sighed about not having a tumberdrier. All suggestions to hang clothes on a line outside/hung inside were batted aside in favour of ... sending her children to school in wet clothes.
Some people who remembered her previous sent her packing.

Really though, she's not the only one to have done it. She's a leetle bit higher profile.
People fall over themselves to send stuff sometimes. I've done it. You learn that if you don't get a thanks back - you've been done.

So I'm a bit confused.

Are recipients meant to be in 'need' or as has been suggested some people nominated because they're nice or good friends with the nominator?

I think the appeal is a lovely idea but see how its more difficult with mn being as big as it is nowadays.

It was meant for people who were in need financially or who had been going through a tough time emotionally.

TWR wasn't a scam. She was very much in need of that money and in a very bad place both emotionally and financially at the time. From what I hear she has now found the strength to pick herself up quite dramatically and is enjoying the 2nd or possibly 3rd year of a college course. Something many people on here tried to persuade her to do for months to better her financial situation in the long run, but she couldn't quite find the confidence to do at the time.

Anyone who gave her advice that felt they wasted their breath back then can rest assured she remembered it and followed it eventually.

How did you 'hear' this hidetheelephant?

From what I saw of the TWR fallout, she was telling lots of people offline the same story and getting money from different people after making them feel like they were the only ones giving support. She was in fact getting support from many people at the same time and they only realised when a thread was started on here.

I can't remember exactly how I know, I think she has been on here sporadically since the whole fall out and mentioned it on a chat thread or something like that.

There was a big support thread to do something for her birthday to cheer her up. IIRC it wasn't asking for money. It asked for whatever you could afford or felt comfortable to give, whether that be a card, token gift, voucher, or small donation by paypal. She didn't know anything about it and it was all done publicly via a thread on here, not sneakily behind everyone's backs by her offline. No one came forward on that thread to say they had already given her money or felt like they had been "done" and that it was a scam. In fact the odd couple of people who had already offered support (mostly practical) were more than happy to help again. It was obvious from that thread and the replies on others she started herself that there were lots of people offering advice and support. If people that helped her missed those threads then I don't see how that was her fault TBH, it's not like they weren't there for everyone to see.

Don't get me wrong I'm completely up for naming and shaming real trolls who totally make stuff up, especially on sensitive subjects like abortion and miscarriage etc, like I know has happened in the past. But I can't bear to stand by and watch a witch hunt on someone who's not really guilty.

MmeLindt, can you not get advent calenders then? I'd be happy to send one over, it wont be long before Tesco have them instore i'm sure

Happymummy
We can get advent calendars but not HSM or Ben 10. It was actually a mnetter sending me bake well tarts and she popped the advent calendars in as well

Oops. Pressed send too fast. Thanks for the offer though. My parents are coming over this year and will bring calendars with them.