I have an idea to radically change Christmas for all mumsnetters. NO blithering appeal.

[Northernlurker]

I've been here since 2007. In that time I've seen mnay happy appeal posts and a lot of unhappy ones. Last year we had the ungrateful issue with people not thanking and we had the organisational issue and we had the stressed donors with no time to shop and we had people getting stuff way after Christmas. The year before there were definately suggestions of people joinging mnet to profit from the appeal. Now this year in AUGUST we've had the who is or isn't popular enough to be allowed to do it - the threads concerning that have hit a new low tbh.

So how about NO appeal. Just keep your eyes open and if you're on a thread with somebody having a hard time give them your e-mail or get thm to CAT you and then you can send them something one to one. Or give a mum friend you know in RL a gift to cher thenm/help them out. No organisation, no fuss, no ego - just friends on and off line showing each other love at Christmas.

I do a fabulous rendition of Billy Joel's Lena, if there's an audition?

When I say fabulous, it's of course, subjective but I like it.

I do think there is a perception of Royalty on here, it comes up all the time, I even posted in one of the threads recently. (Too much coffee and medication do not mix).

It doesn't bother me as such, I post anyway, liked or not, known or not, I want to join in, but I can see how it can come across badly, and I find it hard to believe that anyone else can't see this.

I wouldn't ever suggest people didn't make friends away from here, but some of the 'nudge, nudge', 'remember what we said on FB', 'you know that thing that only all of us know', type posts, don't help, and they have no place on a public forum.

They happen all the time, and it's that type of thing that fuels clique talk, and there's a lot of it.

If you know each other in private, great, MN is a good way to meet new people, but why spread your conversations to the forums, why not have them between yourselves?.

Are you taunting me with the picture of the woman with 2 nipples? Are you being insolent?

I quite like it.

@ I will cut you. Another MNer who shall remain nameless ( largeginandtonic ) brought her offspring to my house and let him teach my dd to screech "I'll cut your neck". In public. That went down brilliantly with the hv. And the gp. And the grandparents. And the passengers on the 17 bus to Blofield.

mugggle, the part of dictator is taken. You can be my jester. Wear you jedward t-shirt.

you lot make me larf.

I did it badly last year and am not royaly.

Sorry it went so badly, but I got a job out of the blue after 8 months (really - they called me)

NSF I have just read that thread and you seemed under loads of pressure -you did not do badly at all! Bet you're looking forward to this Christmas though :)

I do wonder if we need to go back to what the appeal was, rather than the massive thing it has no become with people buying large new gifts, sening vouchers for huge amounts and getting businesses involved.

It was originally set up for people to pass on toys ad clothes they no longer needed to those who could make use of them.

Over the last couple of years I have got the impression that some people have been disappointed to recieve used items, probably hoping for something new instead.

And more and more people being nominated who don't necessarily appear to be going through tougher financial times.

I'd like the appeal to be a lovely MNetty time thing, but do wonder if it is getting to big and out of hand these days, and whether it needs reining in somewhat.

NSF - I don't think it was your fault. It has just got so big and out of hand. It's got too big.

Mugglewump, I do agree with you.
It's like whispering in company, just rude.

I gave a donation in the first appeal.

My recipient was in real financial hardship and I was so happy to help. She received second hand toys and clothes from me, and she was so grateful.

I felt warm and fuzzy inside for ages afterwards, and I think my recipient was happy too.

Subsequent appeals have involved much more financial outlay, many many more recipients as far as I can see and therefore a certain level of expectation.

I think the 'spirit' of it has really changed, sadly.

I think donations to Pakistan is a fab idea actually.

Can we not do it on a small scale like the craft swap threads? I think the problems started when people were giving £100s in supermarket vouchers and then some people felt they had to compete and others expected similar!

If people have to give something to receive then it will get rid of the time wasters/beggars as well.

thing is it depends on people nominating others, and some i wonder did nominate themselves for selfish reasons not because they needed it, nit saying all did. It seemed huge last year and know some families who are going though loads fo crap and didnt get a thing, but to see some get huge amounts was hard to hear about.
I would support not doing it this year unless people wanted to do it personally rather and huge group thing.

Norma
You did a great job last year, it was a massive job.

I disagree that the Christmas appeal should be dropped. It is such a lovely part of MN.

I have occasionally sent a small gift or voucher to MNetters who were struggling and it made me feel really glad to be part of a website that does this kind of thing.

It is great that those MNetters who are having difficulties are helped by those who have had a better time of it recently. That is the way I see it, a kind of being grateful for the good fortune that I have had and "paying it forward" by sending something.

Why not do it but stipulate that it should be either something used and no longer needed, or a small gift (up to a value of £x).

I prefer to send a gift or voucher as we live abroad so sending old clothes or toys is just not worth it, the postage is so expensive.

I like Mme Lindt proposal ie vouchers / second hand gift up to a certain amount but overall I prefer the idea of an MN xmas charity that we can pledge to. The charity could be decided by vote e.g White ribbon or Pakistan appeal.

I don't care if there if there is MN royalty or not. As long as I can post or lurk as much I choose without feeling my voice is less significant it has no real importance (much like my own monarchy in RL).

IIRC in the original appeal some people sent new stuff, some people sent vouchers and some people sent second hand stuff - I think that worked well, then the givers themselves could decide what to send. Perhaps if we have a no hard cash rule and an upper spending limit that would work? Would anyone object to that?

I don't think it should be dropped

(btw have I missed something major wrg to this years? I'm on holiday and haven't been online during the day/evenings so much.......)

The idea of keeping you're eye open and if you're on a thread with someone having a hard time giving someting privately is crap.

sorry but it is - I nominated a few people last year, there's no way in hell I'd have been able to do anything for them myself due to my own situation.

I recieved a large number of 2nd hand toys (after Christmas) - and was stunned - my DS's are still loving them......well the ones they haven't trashed .

I think NSF did a great job - FGS she sent her DH up a snowy hill in the middle of winter just to get email out!!!

as for the donating to Pakistan appeal - well I already have. And tbh (without wanting to sound like a tight fisted bitch) I'd rather donate to something different at Christmas iykwim, and I'm sure many other MNers have already donated towards it as well.

Sorry, but no. Can't we all make charitable donations to the DEC or similar? x

Jareth - that's what I'm saying - some (many?) of us already have - now - right here in August. This is the Christmas appeal we're discussing.

.....and having seen the rest of the threads, could MUMSNET set up a justgiving site as an annual thing?

and those that can't afford to donate money,but have useable 2nd hand stuff that they want to donate?

god dammit - I've wanted to donate every year the appeal has run but never been in a position to - this year I WILL be in a position to donate and I want to.

and - can you imagine the flipping arguments, and threads about threads about threads about "where" the money raised goes to with a justgiving type thing

Scrap it I reckon.
It's a very odd thing now.

I don't get what this thread is about.

Which is why I am not royalty, but rather the drunken serving wench who wanders in and out of threads without anything relevant to say...but I'm quite happy with it. :o

I would prefer a smaller scale MN appeal, that a group charity appeal. any people already donate to charities and prefer to keep them seperate.