What does your Church do, that you really wish they didn't?

[Sausagenbacon]

I'm obviously not going to do a flounce on the basis of this, but..
We used to have hymn numbers in the service sheet (there's no boards). But they've stopped doing that, in the aim of inclusion. Instead, the hymn numbers are announced during the service.
Which is ok, except when we stand to offer one another a sign of peace.
So the clergy say 'you may now offer each other a sign of peace, and the next hymn is xx'
Written down, it doesn't sound that bad, but it actually feels like an interruption in a lovely part of the service.

Our church sermon is usually about 45mins and its never long enough is the general complaint.

I'm very surprised by this.
I've been to a LOT of Churches (around England and Wales, mostly) in my many years on this planet.
I've never heard anyone say a sermon wasn't long enough, EVER. Overwhelmingly, the vast majority of sermons I have heard have been around 15mins long.

Which denomination do you belong to, and in which Country ?

Great post.

I'm CofE evangelical and quite a few people in our congregation come from Baptist, Pentecostal or Brethren backgrounds. So preaching is important to us. Our sermons are anything from 20 to 40 minutes long, depending on occasion and preacher - all of which are treated as within our normal range. I can definitely imagine a 10 minute catholic-style homily would generate some comment. But the idea that someone would actively want a sermon to be longer than 45 minutes is stretching my credulity a bit. Shades of "never mind the quality, feel the width".

This is the beauty of bringing together Christians from diverse backgrounds which hopefully something like this board can help with.
I'm not CofE. I'm from an evangelical/pentecostal background. We love our sermons, they are relevant and engaging. There tends to be grumbling when sermon time is taken up with announcements, admin etc. When I've visited a CofE, I have appreciated the more methodical approach to things, Pentecostals can get carried away with, 'as the Spirit leads' and it can be an excuse for lack of focus & disorganization. I believe Hymn singing is great for communal singing, nothing like a rousing hymn sung in union & while I enjoy the newer songs, always wonder why Pentecostals (at least my experience) have got rid of them except at Christmas. Both would be nice but hey ho!

I’m so sorry you had to make that decision. It must have been incredibly difficult to step away from a place that felt like home and provided such good spiritual nourishment when something beyond your control affects your ability to be part of a community you value so much. Catching up online is a good way to stay connected, but I can see it’s just not the same. I hope you’re able to find ways to build your faith and feel that sense of belonging again, whether it’s through a quieter setting or some other supportive group.

I have the opposite problem.
The church have a young teenage girl to read the intercessions. All very well for inclusively, but I can't hear what she says - too fast and too quiet.

Touching someone, or being touched is never compulsory, and even Christians are allowed boundaries!

I'm not good in social situations with people I don't know and Passing the Peace filled me with dread. I left a church because it was not limited to hand shaking but I'd be hugged or kissed by random people - definitely crossing boundaries of appropriate behaviour IMO.

As for spending money on youth ministries, this has been tried over and over again in our town and not one young person ever came to church. They'd go to the Youth Cafe for the free cake, drinks and activities but that was about it. Then there were the complaints about rowdy behaviour as they spilled out into the street so it stopped.

Sermon length - we have a retired minister filling in (church will close by 2027 so not going to appoint anyone new) - his sermons are about 10 minutes which is fine. Anything up to 20 minutes is acceptable to me before my attention wanders. We had a previous minister whose were always 45 minutes. Everyone thought that was too long as he just kept repeating stuff he'd said already.
Surely it's the quality of the sermon that's more important that its length?

I stopped attending Church for the same reason. Even with headphones the loudspeakers were too loud. And the minister just suggested I sit in rhe foyer on my own and listened .

@RaraRachael Agreed it's the quality of the sermon that's important whether long or short.

If this thread proves anything, it is that Christians appear to be an extremely fractious and factional bunch, and that where two or three are gathered together in my name, there is a row about hymns, sermon lengths, priests, sound volume, shaking hands, not shaking hands etc etc.

@NotPossibleToSay Christians are normal human beings warts and all, united in their belief in Christ. We have different experiences and come from diverse backgrounds which also play out in how we express Christ in our lives so I'm not sure why you're surprised or why it is a criticism of Christians here. The purpose of this board is to provide a place where we can come together to discuss what unifies as well as those differences to hopefully strengthen and enrich us.

Everybody's different. We all have very different views on what we like/dislike about churches we've attended.

For example a PP said they wished their church didn't use incense. I LOVE incense! When I'm in London I visit an Anglo-Catholic church. I always make sure I sit near the area where the incense is swung as the priest does the reading.
I can still smell it on my coat for the rest of the day!
No-onè's right or wrong.

Sermons at our church are about 30-45 minutes long. I like them but I will fall asleep if I sit down for long so I bring my knitting and knit during the sermon so I stay awake.

I always hate it when our church is stingy with money. People give really generously but then want to give it all to charity instead of putting the heating on and paying for a bouncy castle for the children's outreach day.

Not wanting to derail but 😉

I just don’t get this….read the sermon on the mount, 5 mins? Christ stood on mount with people from any number of backgrounds including women and children who would have had minimal education….he kept his words “ simple and stupid”….how? He taught always by allegory … taking complex theoretical ideas and turning into simple relatable stories…

yet, here we are , and have been within years of his cruxifician, relying on a small number of ( men usually) interpreting ) a few ( usually) short fragments of a chapter for 30 mins because it’s all apparently too complicated for us mere mortals to understand? And “ charging” for service (ok, donations , but not optional and keeps them employed ).

twasever this with male professions. Mystify it, use opaque language, claim only those with social skills or training can do it, and charge for it.

cant help thinking Christ would not be pleased.

hey ho, I’m a bit of a heretical Christian. Don’t do church. Not anymore.

Since you appear to so thoroughly dislike Christians, and especially those that don't all conform to a single point of view, why are you on this board at all?

Postulated for years that one of my issues with church and finding it difficult to fit in, is because churches are for extroverts. Very premise they’re built on. Sharing faith.

it assumes we all have brains that need social connection and energy derived from others to develop and maintain our relationship with god and our understanding of our faith. And then some churches get so stuck into extrovism expression, without realising it, that noise levels go up, drums playing and clapping at 10am on a Sunday and they have no clue they’re loosing the engagement of the 25-40% estimated introvert minority.

i gave up. Always found my relationship with god through quiet contemplation, prayer and silence. Much better place now. Stopped feeling guilt tripped into church attendance about 7 years ago. Stopped feeling disconnected and at times raging at the inane superficial rituals and liturgy. I take 30 mins in quiet contemplation of the Lord’s Prayer alone, as my liturgy. As Christ taught us. Plus reading, and just thinking…Versus church liturgy where Lord’s Prayer is performed like robots with no thought about how each phrase applies to us that day/week…sometimes at a speed I can’t even begin to get my head around. Just no from me. It’s not how my brain works and makes me frustrated and definitely not feeling very “Christian”.

often think I was more cut out for Quakerism 🧐🤣🤣🤣🤣

more people need to consider that, we’re not all cut out for interactive church and social worship.

I just find it interesting that you're all so cantankerous about minutiae.

I agree with you on this but out of interest, what do you prefer?

and is it the style of those that you object to or the issues at those particular organisations/mega churches?

In response to the original OP, I found it really surprising and sad when I helped out with coffee at a large C of E church I was attending at the time, and people were so rude! Eg. If we didn’t have their preferred time of herbal tea of that the coffee was instant (because building work was going on)

I just find it interesting that you're all so cantankerous about minutiae.
Cantankerous! You must have a very low bar for this.
As the OP, I posted this because there are certain things that annoy me. If this happened, I used to move church, thinking that the perfect church was out there.
I now know that the perfect church doesn't exist, just as the perfect Christian doesn't exist, so I stay put.
But it doesn't mean that it is perfect (just like me) and I meant the thread as a light-hearted chat.
It baffles me why you have bothered to come on the thread.

"Minutiae" it may be to you, but to others it's an important part of worship. As I've said upthread Passing the Peace is a no no to me but fine to others.
We're not cantankerous. We're just expressing thoughts and opinions. There are many types of worship- not all suit everyone.

No-one is being cantankerous.

People are replying to someone asking what is annoying / frustrating about somewhere they go.
Christians are, as has already been said, people from all walks of life, all ages, all cultures, all different life experiences who are united in their faith. It doesn't mean you have to enjoy every aspect of every Church you have tried.

I enjoyed my job - over all, over the decades - but there were always things that irritated me about it.
I enjoy the area I've volunteered in for decades too (or I'd just have stopped volunteering) but that doesn't mean there aren't frustrations.
I enjoy my hobby - but I still roll my eyes sometimes at some of the other people who enjoy the same hobby.

I think the only thing at my church is that once we've distributed the elements of communion, we take it as we get it. I'd prefer everyone to hold onto it and take it together, but actually this wouldn't be very accessible for a couple of members so perhaps it's best the way it is now.
I really like everything else about my church, I feel very much at home there.

@RaraRachael Pls what is 'Passing the peace?'