Join me in a Bedwetting Support thread? Pls

[Nuttybear]

My lovely Ds is 5 years old and still wetting the bed. Sadly, it runs in the family my brother was about 8-90 years before he stopped and my sister 11-12 years. My DH doesn't remember and my Mother-in-law is deceased so I can't ask her about DH.
I have spoken to the School nurse and Eric website. He might have a small bladder and I know we have keep him drink during the day. I also know that they will not investigate futher until he is 6-7 yrs old. He is otherwie health. I know what we need to do just need some support in helping us through. Anyone like to join me?
Must dash to the shops now will be back later. Promise

I have been there too Nuttybear. HOpe you have a strong washing machine! My dd was a regular bedwetter at 5 and went to the enuresis clinic at 7 or so.

I suggest you have a spare bed ready made up if poss and get ds to take off wet pjs and get into the spare bed if he wets in the night. In other words, as far as possible deal with it himself without waking you. In the morning get him involved with the cleaning up - just putting tiddled clothes and bedlinen in the machine is enough. No need to chastise - better to take the attitude of oh dear, I'm sure you'll be a big boy soon and be able to have a dry night.

Give nothing but water to drink with the evening meal, then nothing till next morning unless he complains of being thirsty; then let him have a mouthful of water. No squash, juice, fizzy drinks or anything with caffeine (eg hot chocolate) after 4 pm.

Of course I am sure you get him to pee last thing before bed. Read a story or something and then get him to pee again. Sometimes the problem is that they don't empty the bladder well enough.

Good luck.

Thank you Elastic Some good tips there. He has a spare bed under his bed so I'll make sure it's made up and pulled out next to him at night. We always did get him to have a wee before story, then school nurse told us to do it after story, only problem is that we are both sleepy by then, as it's automatic before getting into bed. Thats why I've posted today, even with a nappy he has wet the bed as well!!!So I'm going to put up a sign to remind us tonight. The idea of him dealing with it himself is novel and I'll see how he can manage. Did you take your girl out of nappies at 5 years? We have tried for three weeks at a night with no dry nights. I about to see if we can tackle thart and cope with school & work in the morning!

Thank you Elastic Some good tips there. He has a spare bed under his bed so I'll make sure it's made up and pulled out next to him at night. We always did get him to have a wee before story, then school nurse told us to do it after story, only problem is that we are both sleepy by then, as it's automatic before getting into bed. Thats why I've posted today, even with a nappy he has wet the bed as well!!!So I'm going to put up a sign to remind us tonight. The idea of him dealing with it himself is novel and I'll see how he can manage. Did you take your girl out of nappies at 5 years? We have tried for three weeks at a night with no dry nights. I about to see if we can tackle thart and cope with school & work in the morning!

opps! I have re-read my last post my brother was about 9 years old not 90 yrs

Posting quickly, as was just off to do something when I saw the title...

I can offer a very jaded been there, tried that viewpoint. I have a 12 year old that wets the bed. She's been medicated since she was about 9, but we have to have a week long break every 3 months to see if she's grown out of it. Last night was the 2nd night of no meds and she wet the bed she's now very dissapointed with herself

bumpybecky Thank you for you post it its very touching. It reminds me of my sister. Funny enough my sister's best friend when she was at school and with the Guides was Becky. My Sis tried a camp with the Guides the lovely Becky and her friends where lovely.When she wet her sleeping bag Sis got in with Becky. In the morning the girls all helped my sister wash the bag and dry it.
My Sister is all grown-up and has two grown boys who never had a problem!
When I was younger (I'm big Sis) I thought it was all due to the stress my parent's rows caused us. I now know it has nothing to do with stress as ds has a sweet life. He is very confident and I have never tried to stress about this. Pls give your DD a big hug from me

My dd was out of night time nappies around 4 years old, much later than she was out of daytime nappies. She was too big for any nappies then on the market and also I thought she would never be dry at night if she didn't try.

She went to the enuresis clinic at about age 7 and got an alarm. This worked a bit, but she was not dry till much later. Eventually in later jnrs she only wet about once a week or less, so about as often as you would change the sheets anyway.

She was only medicated when we went away or other special occasion. That wasn't totally reliable either.

Eventually bedwetting gave way to staining with menstrual blood.

He was longer in nappies than apparently I was but not that long around 2 yrs. Apparently I was dry around 1 yrs old and dry at night soon followed my Mum says.
We thought we would try now that the nights are not as cold & getting up in the night doesn't effect me as much as it does at night. So we are taking a step at a time.
I think the medication was they only thing that worked for my sister.
I have a problem with school as they don't really make it easy for him to drink lots of water. Have to have a sit down with the teacher and see what is possible. I understand she also has 29 other children to think about.

Nuttywoman, thanks we're lucky I guess that dd1 doesn't normally wet if she's not in her own bed. Sleepovers, brownie and guide camp have all been ok so far It is hard on her though, especially as her two younger sisters were both dry at night age 3, so depsite dd3 being 7 years younger, she managed it first dd1's just had a birthday and I think had thought that as she was now older, the problem would have solved itself. Sad to say it's not happened yet.

Elasticwoman can you remember if the problem stopped when your dd's periods started? or was it later?

I'm convinced dd1 will start her periods in the next 6 months. She's having regular mood swings (I mark the calendar when she throws a spectacular strop and it's been every 4 weeks for a while now...) and discharge like you'd get mid cycle. I'm sure it can't be much longer for her.

Going back to an earlier point, our specialist clinic did encourage us to get dd to deal with things herself. She has to strip her own sheets, take them to the washing machine and remake the bed. I'm not sure it's made any difference, but it's less thigns for me to do, so can't be bad! For the last two years she's had two beds (bunks) though which makes things a bit easier. She doesn't normally wake up though!

Nuttybear sorry!

I cross posted with you. Does the teacher not allow drinks in the classroom? I thought most schools had drinking bottles in class now. As your ds gets older he'll understand a bit more about the need to drink. It can be hard to get them to remember when they're little (dd3 is 5, and can't focus on anything much!).

No, they have water bottles but I've been told that he need to expand his bladder. Just talking to him it doesn't seem that he can take the water bottle out into the play ground, he struggles with the water fountain and doesn't like milk! I need to talk and see what happens really at school.
I suppose if they deal with it themselves it reduces the stress of having a grumpy parent!
My sister hated being lifted when she was younger I remeber it clearly as I had to do the lifting some nights . Not easy when the said sister is taller Mum or myself.

Nuttybear - lifting isn't necessarily a good thing. We did it a bit with dd but it did not always result in a dry bed in the morning. It isn't recommended by the experts I believe.

BumpyBecky - good question! Her bedwetting trailed off as she got older and was very rare by the time she started periods at about 12. She is now 15 and I don't think she has wet the bed for some years. But some teenagers are still doing it, unluckily for them.

By the way, my brother was a bedwetter as a child. My mother said she could not rely on him to be dry until he was 11.

What really drove me crazy was if she wet the bed, as an older child, and neither told me nor stripped her bed as she knew she should do! Aaaaaaaargh!

I think if he's only 5 and hasn't had a dry night in 3 weeks then don't even try to get him dry yet. The reason they won't see a child in the enuresis clinic before age 7 is because he's very likely simply to be too young to be producing the hormone that suppresses urine production at night before age 7. Both my DCs (7 and 4) are still wearing nappies at night and it is much less stressful for all of us not to stuggle with wet beds every night. We do try periodically to try a few nights without a nappy but last time DS tried he wet the bed 3 times per night for a week and he was terribly upset. That said he's now 7, has had a few dry nappies recently so I'm thinking of contacting the school nurse soon. The more I hear the more common I realise bedwetting is and the less worried I am about it for my DCs.

Elasticwoman dd not telling me about the wet sheets drove me crazy too. I'd only find out at bedtime and then have to find spare bedding and make the bed at bedtime it's been better since she had two beds, both are made up so if she has an accident in one she can sleep in the other one!

We're on night 3 of no meds - fingers crossed. It rained on all her bedding that I'd tried to dry on the line today. I'm trying not to see it as an omen!

Chix our specialist says 10% of 5 year olds and 5% of 10 year olds wet the bed. It's more common in boys too. I'm not worried for dd, I'm sure she'll grow out of it eventually. It's just a nuisance now really. If your ds is tolerating the nappies (I won't say happy to wear them as I'm sure he'd rather not need to) then it seems sensible to continue with them. I'm sure he'll be dry before too long

My DS wasnt dry at night til the month before he turned 8. We got all the info off the school nurse and once he'd read it all and understood the reasons why he might be wetting (hormone/reflex) he really made an effort to do it for himself. ie 2 or 3 wees before bed, drinking a lot during the day, and even setting his alarm clock for 4am to make himself get up to wee! And he was great about doing his own sheet in the middle of the night. And he cracked it in about 2 months I suppose. I had stressed about it for a long time but in the end it was painless, as I think it is for the vast majority of boys in particular.

Good luck!

Thank you for your posts I hope this helps others too. I'm about to wash another set of sheets even with a nappy he still wets the bed! Thank God for washing machines in the home!
chixinthestix Thank you for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff. I worry that the nappy is extending the time he wets the bed. But really it probably isn't. Thank you for the spare bed idea. We have it ready every night now so we get into a habit. I have also made a sign on the door to remind me to tell him to go to the loo after story.
No drinks except water after 4 (juice when he gets in from school) No drinsk except a sip 1 hour before bed. I'm getting into these habits now.
Elasticwoman yes that's what I was told, don't left but that wasn't the same advice 30 years ago. As I said my sister hated being lifted and it didn't stop her wetting the bed every night (some nights she was dry)
Well touch wood that's it just bedwetting. I can't type anymore because it makes me shudder to think how people cope with little ones with major problems.

My brother was a bedwetter when we were kids, and I wasn't. Except once when db and I had to share a bed at our grandmother's house when we were about 9 and 7. I remember inadvertantly wetting the bed while I was awake but I let my brother take the blame for it the next day. Even he thought he was the culprit!

Years later, when we were adults I owned up.

Well, a bit of a development here in the stix, DS has gone to bed with no nappy tonight - his choice, after 4 dry nappies in a row. Have not yet checked bed! He was really keen and suggested it himself which is a real change as he's obviously feeling confident at last. Just hope he isn't horribly disappointed. I'll keep you posted on how we get on.....

Nuttybear, I think you're doing all the right things but your DS sounds like mine and I'm sure that the nappies havent made the problem worse. Incidentally have you got some washable bed pads? Easier to pull off that a whole sheet for quick change at night as his nappy leaks. like these

Love your story Elasticwoman. Its strange how this runs in families, two of my sisters dcs are the same as mine, although her ds3 was dry at 18 months. Yet don't think my sis or I were bedwetters.

yes have those and now a waterproof complete mattress cover as he wiggles and moves off bed pads now. So the bedding goes like this waterproof mattress cover, another soft mattress cover (acts as second sheet), bed pad sheet. ( Spare bed with another non waterproof matress cover & spare quilt. So this morning was okay as he wet the pad. [Smile]
He can have this ton of linen when he goes to college! But not the waterproof stuff as I bet we will need it in our old age!

chixinthestix crossing fingers for your DS

Yay! He did it!!!! All that washing was worth it to see DS's proud face this morning as he showed me his dry pyjamas.

Early days yet but for now basking in glory of 1st dry night ever.
Hope that it arrives soon for you too Nuttybear.

Give a hug to your Ds's from me. No, we are still a work in progress.

I'm going to say this very quietly....

dd's medication free week has lasted a lot longer than I thought! we've had one wet bed in the last 15 nights I think she might have finally got the hang of it!

.

3 weeks later and she's back on her meds we've had four wet beds in the last 7 nights so she's started with the tablets again - sigh

part of the issue is her stroppiness and overall refusal to go to bed sensibly which means she goes to sleep later than she should and is then overtired she's so stubborn