My four children have measles.

[Spidermama]

I'm almost at the end of it now.

My 7 year old got it first and was ill throughout half term. The other three have just had the week off school with it and are still loafing around on the sofas at the tail end.

We've lived like vampires in darkened rooms.
During the worst days (probably about 2 days per child) I had to carry them upstairs to the toilet, hold bottled water to their mouths to get them to drink, and DS2 didn't eat anything for four whole days.

We're on the home stretch now and they just need fattening up. It has been a very bonding, intense experience and I'm really glad they have now got natural, lifelong immunity.

I hesitated before starting this thread. I have talked about my childrens measles on the vax thread but I wondered if I could have a measles thread which didn't turn into a vax debate. I also thought the subject deserves a thread of it's own because it's a really big deal for me.

None the less this is such a full on, eminal parenting moment for me, I would hate to let it pass without sharing it with MN. It would feel somehow wrong, like concealing stuff from my family almost.

So DS3 bounced back very quickly. He was flat out and barely able to whisper one day - the next je was out on the trampoline in full gold cape superhero gear. DD1 is also bouncing back nicely. DS2 and DS4 are a bit slower but showing improvement by the hour.

DH is away by the way so I'm here on my own.

Hi Spidermama. So glad they're all better. Hope you can have a break soon - you deserve one.
Re the bonding experience, it's interesting - I was reading Worzel Gummidge the other day which starts when they've just had whooping cough and it strikes me how much of the children's fiction of the first half of the 20th c kicks off with children convalescent. Obviously it it partly because the disruption to normal life, the way children would have been kept away from school for a long time, or sent to the country to recuperate, set up circumstances in which adventures could happen, but I wonder if it also relates to the sense of dreaminess and surrealness that comes with the fever - the feeling that the world is a slightly odd place and strange and magical things might happen.

(Obviously this is not an argument for or against vax, just thought it was an interesting idea.)

Spidermama, I'm glad yours are on the mend. Thanks for sharing, it is food for thought.

It's great that your children are strong and healthy. But it is very hard to read, especially for someone like me with a child who doesn't ever "bounce back" and who ends up on a drip or hospitalised at least once a year from something very simple that wouldn't even render her sibling bedridden.

Glad they are recovering, Spider. My mother and aunt told me about experiences of having measles/nursing children with measles. Sounded miserable and very draining.

Whatever people feel about vaccination, I think it's a little harsh not to sympathise with children and parents going through a tough time.

MP, not quite sure what you mean - is it that your dd is at risk of catching diseases from unvaccinated children?

(FWIW ds had singles.)

Spidermama, sorry to hear your kids have been so ill. Sounds like you're over the worst now though.

Rasputin - it makes it a lot less likely that you'll get the disease.

A bit like saying, you can get pregnant while taking the pill. You can, but it's a lot less likely than if you weren't.

MP I'm really sorry to hear your dd gets very poorly. That must be worrying and draining for you.

Rapsutin you ask, 'why take the risk'? For me it's about a holistic approach to health. I actually want my children to get measles and fight it off because I believe there will be far reaching benefits for their over all state of health which go beyond natural immunity to measles. I'm hoping the naturopaths and homeopaths are right when they say often allergies are improved after measles for example.

I could write a book about it but don't want to risk getting flamed on a thread which has been so supportive. I don't want to annoy anyone either as it's a highly charged issue for any parent.

I'm glad there's the vaccination for those who want it and feel it's the best way forward for their children but I don't think anyone should be put under pressure to vaccinate if don't want to.

Outbreaks occur anyway in vaxed and unvaxed children and the concept of herd immunity is very controversial. Of course there are also risks associated with the vaccine as many people on this site will testify and what's more they're that bit harder to quantify because of truly shocking misinformation.

I have read this, this, and this book very helpful in giving the information which doctors don't give you.

I also subscribed to The Informed Parent leaflets for a while and read stuff from What Doctors Don't Tell You. Can't get onto their site at the moment for some reason.

The alternative point of view is out there but parents aren't encouraged to inform themselves so not many people come across this sort of literature IME.

Words fail me.

I'm really really glad they're all OK.

But I'm a bit befuddled by the fact that you're now glad they have lifelong immunity. From what?? oh, from the disease they have already had in spades! So in order to prevent them being really ill in the future, they had to...er, be really ill.

And yes, what Motherpi said.

Yes kitbit because it's much more dangerous to get measles as an adult.

I haven't read Halvorsen's book Lockets but have seen it mentioned on here by some very sensible people. I'm off to amazon now to look for it. Something tells me I may need to brush up for future bitter rows considered debates.

Spider, you are a glutton for punishment.

'None the less this is such a full on, eminal parenting moment for me, I would hate to let it pass without sharing it with MN. It would feel somehow wrong, like concealing stuff from my family almost.'

Nah, I'm going to walk away from this, just.walk.away.

Spider, I'm so glad your children are recovering.

I feel the same as MP and thank god the dr (one who did the research with wakefield) convinced me to make sure ds had the mmr. If your kids (who presumeably are generally healthy) are that ill, then I dread to think what would have happened to ds Knowing that it is hard to read this and without wishing to make anything harder for you, I do think others reading this thread need to take this seriously.

Spider I am very glad you're children are on the mend; it must have been an awful time for you all.

I agree that it is your right to decide whether to vaccinate at the end of the day, taking into account potential risks of allowing these diseases to proliferate and potentially putting immuno-compromised children at risk - this is something every parent has to weight up for themselves and then make a decision that's right for them.

However, I have known a friend who caught TB - despite having been vaccinated - and who was extremely, extremely ill with it - yet the consultant told her had she not been vaccinated she would have been even more ill as she had a bit of immunity to this particularly virulent strain.

That's why I vaccinate - as I believe it gives my kids a chance to fight off these nasties, but I'm aware that's my own personal choice. DD had the worst chickenpox the doctors had ever seen - I couldn't risk putting her through similar with measles etc. Some kids do seem more susceptible to these things and in such cases I feel there is no choice other than to vaccinate, but it is entirely up to parents to make this call.

Spider I know what you are talking about with the bonding thing. Its a joy of serveing and being totally committed to others in their time of need.

I too have experienced this, unfortunatly my situation was caused because of the MMR not by measles.

without wishing to sound heartless, and thank god your children have recovered and i hope they are back up to full strenght very soon

.. would this still have been a 'seminal moment' in parenting, if god forbid that one of your children had had to be hospitalised, with serious complications, or worse?

it must surely be something you considered when you made your decision not to vaccinate.

Unicorn it was indeed and when I properly researched the risks, got behind the alarming an shamefully misleading statistics, the choice for me was very easy.

Ra29 I'm sorry you had such a bad time with the chicken pox and I'm very glad the MMR exists for people like yourself, who are clearly confident that it presents a much smaller risk than that presented by the illness itself.

In the end wether or not we choose to vaccinate we're all doing our best to protect our children in whatever we see is the best possible way.

Unicorn you ask me would I still have felt comfortable with my decision if the kids had got complications or been hospitalised. Hard to say because they didn't.

It's so theoretical anyway and I might just as well ask people, 'would you still feel confident if your child had an adverse reaction to the jab' but I don't because obviuosly it would be utterly horrendous in either situation and to blame parents for well thought out decisions which went wrong is cruel and utterly pointless.

The risks are small but very real on either side of the debate but we have to live our lives and there are risks involved. We're all doing our best and sometimes that leads us down different paths.

So did you go to a measles party then to ensure your dcs got it as children?
And when you had to carry the dcs to the toilet etc were you feeling worried or did you know beforehand that it would be like that? At that point I can imagine myself getting a bit panicky.

Although my dcs have been MMR-ed I do have sympathy with your stance on this. Although I have slight doubts about the MMR itself, by bigger concern is the rise in allergies & auto-immune conditions. I strongly suspect there is a link, given our bodies no longer fight off these diseases. But aware too of my inconsistency as I don't want to return to the days of people dying/being disabled by measles either.

Message withdrawn

Oh my goodness!

You sound like super woman! {smile]

My two (nearly 3 and 13 months) have just had back to back CP, bad colds and now a throwing up bug.

Am not feeling bonded and serene..... I have cabin fever, sleep deprivation and look 5 months pregnant due to all the extra wine and chocolate I have needed to get through this