The Joy of being a parent means I can ask you detailed questions about my child's arse. okay?

[S1ur]

So well done for clicking you are clearly as dedicated a parent as I am.

Right, tonights problem has levels.

Basically my dd did herself an unusual injury earlier whilst bouncing around on the sofa. She managed to apparently land on the arm in such a way as to damage herself. Specifically to (I think) create a small split in her perinium - that fab bit between the anus and fanjo that commonly tears in childbirth.

However, fear not for my dd (who is not pg indeed is only 4) she only had/has a tiny cut just above her anus.

Oooooh are we on TMI yet?

There's more

Right whilst stemming the blood (which there was a bit more than I would expect with a tiny cut) I noticed purple tiny bulges slightly further down around her anus.

Now I'm thinking haemorrhoids. and maybe even one of these was damage during sofa acrobatics......

Right I have a point.

1. can children get haemorrhoids??
2. does she need a gp visit to sort it if so?
3. what the blardy hell could she have done to cut/split herself otherwise!!! it is a sofa ffs.
4. do I now know an unhealthy amount of detail about someone elses anus?
5. shall I print out this thread and put in her 'memory box' for her 18th birthday?

If you could help with any of that I'd appreciated it.
Ta.

& for your DD - hope she is ok

thanks, she's fine really. stung quite a lot at time I think. But I am uber mother with much first aid and tlc.

Oh slur LOL

Your poor DD. I sustained a similar injury on a ride-on dog at the same age. I think children can get haemorrhoids, but they are fairly uncommon. I would imagine they would also be associated with constipation. All moving well in the poo department?

If they are tiny and not causing her any pain, I doubt there's anything to be concerned about.

I hasten to add that I was sniggering at your wittily written OP, NOT your DD's hurty perineum...that is clearly never ever a laughing matter.

trip to GP me thinks, just to check. My bfs dd has had bleeding from her anus and internal piles (can't spell hemeroids!) are suspected so chidren must be able to get them.

poor dd ,ouch!.

oh thanks Ant!

I am intrigued (of course) by bizarre ride on dog related injury. Just HOW the feck does someone manage that ???

DOn't worry am not asking for you to paint me a picture. Knowing about several other arses has saited my curiousity.

Though in relation to dd's bizarre sofa landing I am still perplexed, I guess the force of impact, maybe with spread legs ??

The purpley things aren't there now. She hasn't been constipated either.

See she is very chipper and bouncy now. not complaining of any pain etc.

Hmm.

Children are weird.

Oh god I hate to be the one to have to provide a sensible answer here but:

• when you cut your perineum - whether through childbirth or bouncing on the sofa, it does bleed a lot - the blood vessels down there are close packed and under pressure all the time, in fact there are lots of little veins and when the area is damaged they all pop up. If you take a close look at a women in labour you'll notice all the little veins round their anuses all pop up.

Just like that.

Sitting in a fairly hot salt bath will speed recovery.

Unless she's regularly constipated, toddler piles is unlikely.

You could take her to the doctors, indeed if you think it's likely to need medical treatment later on going earlier is more sensible because if you go in three weeks it's going to look supremely dodgy.

But to reassure you, toddlers quite often injure all parts of themselves - I apparently cut my bum on lego when I was three - I have no recollection thank god - so don't be embarrassed.

Oh and Slur, I tore my perineum the same time I dislocated my hip doing the splits too fast. It's actually quite easy if you land funny.

It wasn't funny btw, twas fecking painful! I had two caesarians so I had no idea your fanjo could hurt like that

5. definitely

Rest - not entirely sure

ooh d'ya reckon j20? (what a lovely drink you are! which one are you?)

I supose there's no harm in making an appt at least...

Goodness knows how I explain injury though! heh.

"well you see Dr Jones, dd was trying out for the 2012 sofa olympic entry, and neglected to close her legs on the downward triple star twist and landed somewhat awkwardly on her arse"

WMMC you are a star

Yes but I have a scar on my starfish

WMMC - that's sounds right and very helpful thank you!

She isn't constipated (ever I don't think) and I doubt it needs medical attention. It was small cut and already seems to be closing, certainly no bleeding after initial moment.

Sorry to hear about YOUR perinium. I tore both times in labour but with endorphins a flowing didn't even notice, though the recovery was really quite sore. I understand it is a sensitive area, though she was running around with her younger brother at quite some speed earlier so I think she is probably fine!

SHe was chasing the lad, despite my advice to rest and keep her knees together (I was aware of sounding like a 19th century school maam there) heh.

She'll be just fine then. Might be worth popping a bit of salt in her bath for the next couple of days just to keep the area clean.

Make sure she keeps up her fibre over the next week as well, a big hard poo could open it up again.

Now TMI revelation of the day: I am potty training DD - she did a poo in the potty and was so chuffed she stood straight up and it ricocheted out of the potty into my open hand and my reflex action closed my hand as in my head I screamed ARRRRGGGHH very loudly. Tis funny now though

slur-i did wonder what you'd say to doc about the injury! WMMC seems to know her stuff, no need for the trip then! glad shes ok

WMMC-pmsl @ potty incident

oh and J20 drink-can't stand the stuff tbh, my name came from something else

Umm- are you certain the injury was from the fall?
tmi sometimes after biiiiiig poos, one can get a tear, and they do bleed (tis very red, and scary! Sorry- DD has biiiiiiig poos- but then she is 2.9, and some days eats more than I do, and I'm 29weeks pg )
Maybe an anal fissure, which is very common, and can be painful.
But after wmmc's story... maybe it was just from the fall- eek. I will ALWAYS close my legs when falling now

wmmc nice to see you back to your old name!

OMG- just read wmmc's 2nd post- the poo story Gawd- we really do abandon all dignity we ever had upon becoming parents!

Yep, all dignity firmly thrown aside. I am actually quite proud I managed to catch it rather than let it land on the floor and have to clear it up.

Now that's hardcore parenting!

roffle proud of catching poo! haha

Yes, sadly, I can COMPLETELY understand that.

I am worshipping at the feet of whomovedmychocolate because, if I read this thread correctly, she has had two casearians and is still able to injure herself by doing the splits "too quickly"

Respect.

A friend's dd was larking about in the garden when they were digging a trench for an extension. She fell with one leg down the hole and one leg up onthe ground. Riiiiiiiiip! Bloody painful for a while by all accounts but no lasting damage. That doesn't help you of course but I just wanted to tell you!

Seeker - thanks

I can now only do the cuts on the advice of my doctor (the cuts is when you do it legs front and back and the splits is out to the sides).

Guys/Eyeballs. shudder.

WMMC arf that you need an actual doctors note to prevent you doing splits when the rest of us manage perfectly well to avoid splits or otherwise by virtue of NOT BEING 10!

I am seriously concerned that a gymnastic move is called 'cuts' surely that should tell someone something. And this comes from a former award winner gymnast