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Children's health

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Original poster

Worst Mum Ever, I hurt my baby.

57 replies

bluenosebear · 09/09/2008 15:33

Oh my god. Think I need your wise opinions on this. I did a BAD BAD THING. I'm so upset. I needed to nip upstairs to the loo, so I strapped baby into her little rock chair. I heard her start to whinge but she's going through a clingy stage, so I just shouted back to her from the loo. Then her cries started into full blow I'm Not Happy cries, but I had a "problem" so it was a min before I could get to her. On coming back, I found she'd either got out of the straps, or I hadn't done them up and she had tried to get out the chair. She was bent over one of the arms backwards at the small of her back, screaming.

I want to die. I grabbed her quick, and she stopped crying as soon as I picked her up. Should I take her to the docs for a check over? I was so damn stupid and careless, I'm distraught I hurt my baby girl, and I feel like I should give her to social services or something.

YES I KNOW I WAS STUPID. I could never feel worse than I do right now. Baby is fine, a little tired after her ordeal.

But should I take her to the docs? Will they take her away from me for being dumb?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

wuzzlefraggle · 09/09/2008 15:48

she's ok by the sounds stop beating yourself up about it - You didn't meant for it to happen!

As already said, we have all gone through this type of thing

(aitch - my dd has too done the dive off the bed thing - shudder at my freak out at the time)

Hope you are feeling a little calmer

TigerFeet · 09/09/2008 15:48

Oh bless you, you sound so upset

Your dd will be fine, have a cup of coffee, take a few deep breaths and it'll be fine. I very much doubt there is any lasting harm done or that she will even remember what happened after a sleep.

I totally sympathise - you should have seen how badly I overreacted the first time that my dd fell over outside and cut her knee! She was about 12 months old and had never had so much as a bruise or a scrape. I had let my child get damaged, she was bleeding and broken and it was all terrible and she would hate me for letting it happen and I was such a bad mother and god it was all so awful [hyperventilate]. Good job I got over it, she is an active child and permanently scraped and bruised these days

SheikYerbouti · 09/09/2008 15:50

I dropped DS1 halfway down the stairs when he was about 4 weeks old. I am was in BITs. I rushed him to casualty and was sobbing. The doc looked at me ike I was a nobboiod. DS1 was unscathed - it was far worse for me

DS2 falss down (or more likely is pushed by DS1) with such regularity that now I don;t even bother checking he's OK

emma1977 · 09/09/2008 15:50

Relax, she's come to no harm and she's OK now. No need to panic and rush off to the doctors.

On my first day alone with ds (3 weeks old) I propped him in the corner of the sofa surrounded by cushions and nipped to the toilet. Within seconds of me leaving the room there was dreadful squealing and I found him on the floor a good 3ft from where I had left him. I have no idea how he managed it but he was fine with a cuddle and an apology for me being a bit rubbish.

Its impossible to keep your eyes on your dc every second of the day and accidents happen- well done on making it to 7 months without doing it already!

ComeOVeneer · 09/09/2008 15:53

Wait until you get a second one, your reaction is so different. Good job with mine as he gets himself into all manner of scrapes, also is a right escape artist (imagine the embarassment of having your child returned by a neighbour who found him coming out of your house (he pulled a plastic crate to thee door, stood on it and then let himself out) , a neighbour who happens to be a police officer )

BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 16:12

I had a similar incident with DS when he was about 5 months, propped him up on sofa turned around to get a fleece blanket off the floor, next thing I know he has fallen off the sofa!

And Dh had him sat on his lap when DH was sat on floor, let of him and said "Look DS is sat up by himself!". Cue DS then falling flat on his face.

He survived both incidents with lots of cuddles from mummy. As will your dd

Fimbo · 09/09/2008 16:17

My dh threw dd up in the air and failed to catch her. Plop straight to the ground. I was so livid and upset with him, she was fine.

I cut ds's fingernails when he was baby and cut part of his skin. I howled and howled. The bleeding wouldn't stop for about 1/2hr.

You are not alone, these things happen as has proved on this thread!

bloomingfedup · 09/09/2008 16:21

It is the worst thing in the world when your baby gets hurt. The feeling is so raw and painful. It was NOT your fault - accidents happen. Does she seem ok, if in doubt get he checked over.

Now, deep breath - repeat after me I AM A GOOD MOTHER.

Sycamoretree · 09/09/2008 16:23

Please be assured, we all have accidents like this with our LO's - it's just an accident, you did not hurt her. lost count of how many times my DD fell off our bed, out of her pushchair (nana on duty that time - scar on her nose still there to this day to prove it)or down the stairs.

Am sure she's fine - she'll have been shocked and crying is her only way to let you know she's in a predicament and needed your help. We all have to go to the loo - next time, just pop her in her cot that's all - they can cry all they like there, but you know they are safe and can pee, poo and pop to your hearts content.

girlandboy · 09/09/2008 16:23

Oh we've all done something like this - she will be fine, no real harm done.

Just for the record - I trapped dd's finger in the hinge of the door when she was about 9 months old. Did exactly the same thing a week later (same finger) and her nail came off!
Dropped ds when he was 3 days old (he was ok, he just sort of bounced and rolled away).

ajm200 · 09/09/2008 16:24

Don't beat yourself up. She'll have
many more accidents before she starts school. As long as she is calm, using the arm and doesn't cry if you manipulate it, she'll be fine.

LO's have no fear, they get into all sorts of odd situations, some amusing, some dangerous. You could watch her 24/7 and she'd still find a way to hurt herself.

Have a cuppa, give her a big kiss and cuddle and put it behind you.

Motherhood comes with bucketloads of guilt. You'd only be a bad mum if you didn't care.

Original poster

bluenosebear · 09/09/2008 16:32

We've had a cuddle, been out for a walk and she's now playing with a rattle as though nothing has happened. Sorry for over reacting a bit, I'm not normally a panicker and am usually able to spell! LOL sycamore, and thanks to everyone for telling me your stories. I don't feel so bad now, but I won't be letting her out of my sight again for a while unless she's on the floor or in a crib.

Going to cuddle her some more now, I dont think she remembers but is loving the hugs.

OP posts:

littlelapin · 09/09/2008 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubyloopy · 09/09/2008 17:08

Message withdrawn

hecate · 09/09/2008 17:12

see, everything is fine. It's awful, isn't it? I remember the first time ds1 got hurt - a tiny tiny little cut and I cried and my bones hurt and I felt sick.

Fast forward a few years and they were bouncing down the stairs with me barely looking up from my coffee

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2008 17:17

Impressed you've got to 7mo without having any incidents!
I tried to cut DS's nails when he was tiny, managed to cut the end of his finger fell off the bed etc...
Just one point - she 's probably sitting up? I don't think those bouncy chairs are meant to be used when they can sit up. Correct me if I'm wrong somenoe?

ComeOVeneer · 09/09/2008 17:19

Plaesed you are feeling better. The first one is a right shocker. 6 years down the line and 2 children it does get easier, but ds is determined to turn my hair grey I can tell you!

ladytophamhatt · 09/09/2008 17:26

Ds4 used to do that as soon as my back was turned. Its just a developmant thing IMO, she's learnt that if she wiggles and squirms the straps get loose and shes able to free herself.
Eventually she'll work out how to get out without going over the arm of the chair or will do it that way without crying.

Honestly, Ds4 used to do it all the time.
Little bugger

I know ds1 did it too, so I'll take a stab in th dark and say the other 2 did aswell si if you;re teh worst mum I have no idea what thsi makes me

steviesgirl · 10/09/2008 18:31

I know just how you feel. It makes you feel like crap when something happens to your little 'un. Please don't blame yourself, it's easier said than done because I've felt gulity for weeks over things that were just accidents.

Accidents are unfortunately part of life and that includes them happening to our kids from time to time. No matter how careful we are, they can never be totally avoided.

My 2 year old dd has had two trips to A&E and the doctors through accidents and I have blamed myself everytime. Even though they were not my fault. She fell off the bed and banged her head and 7 hours later she was vomiting. The docs admitted her overnight for observation due to the knock to her head. Thankfully the vomiting was short lived and she went home the next day.

I've accidentally pulled her elbow joints out 3 times (my father did it one time), just by grabbing hold of her when she's gone to grab something and I've tried to stop her!! I was told this is a common injury in the under 5's. It's easy to get paranoid and think that people think you are a bad parent, but it's only you that thinks that. Doctors and others accept that accidents are accidents. It's only things that you've done deliberately that they will suspect. Your little one isn't even hurt so relax.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/09/2008 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 10/09/2008 18:38

Do you think we need to have a "sticky" thread which lists all the terrible things we've done to our children so we can reassure new posters?

SoupDragon · 10/09/2008 18:40

We need a FAQ section.

OMG! I've hurt my baby!: A check list of things we've all done

Dislocated elbow: Check
Chipped teeth: Double check
Stitches/glue on head :Check! Check! Check!
Fingers in doors: Check several times

ad infinitum.

squeaver · 10/09/2008 18:43

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP, WOMAN!

hecate · 12/09/2008 07:52

Oh god yes SD, that would be reassuring! I've (and this will just be off the top of my head and in no way the full list! dropped mine, lost my grip of them in the bath and half drowned them , shut a door on ds1 finger and took half his nail off, dropped stuff on them, not noticed one of them reverse crawling down the stairs but missed and slipped under the rail on the top landing until he was dangling over the stairs about to fall (I leapt across the living room in a single bound and caught him as he fell/eased him through) and I once fed ds1 puréed liver and onions.

hecate · 12/09/2008 07:53

You don't suppose this will turn into a competition to decide who's done the most terrible thing to their poor baby, do you?

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