18 month old has fever every other week - I can't cope

[IJustNeedToSleep]

Hi,

My DS is 18 months old. He has been ill relentlessly since he was about 11 months old. Never just a general cough or cold, he always gets fevers which last between 5-9 days. We've been to A&E 8 times with it.

When he's ill, he wakes up hourly through the night, he won't go to DH and screams like he's being tortured if I try to hand him over. I cannot put him down and I'm trying to hold down my job at the same time.

I am mentally and physically exhausted and I can't cope. How does anyone manage to cope with this? He gets well for about 5 days and then he gets another fever.

All the doctors say it's normal and they're not worried about his immune system. But I'm worried there's something else going on. I genuinly have nothing left and I feel so desperate and depleted.

I think I might have to get signed off work.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Was there anything at the root of it, other than a deluge of viral infections? How did you cope?

He has been chronically constipated since forever and I'm wondering if this could be related. The doctor has given us a long term course of laxatives but he's never well enough for long enough for us to start them...

I know all toddlers go through this stage of getting loads of illnesses... but this feels beyond extreme and my mental health is in pieces.

Thank you.

I think i will push for some tests.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience - I sympathise so much

Ps - agree with previous poster - I always get the Nurofen out. Usually alternate with calpol when the fevers are relentless. Calpol never seems to do anything for a fever for my kids.

Yes, of course ask for bloods. My DS had them too 🤷‍♀️ I’m just saying to the OP that it’s not necessarily leukemia- it can be a normal part of a child’s developing immune system. I appreciate that for your family that has been the awful experience. And I’m so sorry for that. But it’s nowhere near as likely that the child has leukemia, as it is that the child just has had an unlucky run of it- so need to terrify an already stressed mum, eh?

Ah thank you… it was shockingly shit at the time, and I was definitely traumatized by it all (sometimes he would be SO terrifyingly poorly)- but it does pass… and now he’s as tough as old boots 😁 I’m prematurely grey ofc!

I don’t think I’m terrifying anyone to recommend OP ask for a blood test. She did ask for advice and said the doctors have been dismissive.

Yes you can hand him over, You just have to be more consistent about it and not swoop back the second he cries. He needs to be comforted by both parents. What if you went into hospital? And you need to work and share the load.

This winter has been brutal. It's my DDs 3rd winter in nursery and she's been more ill this winter than the first! Everyone is saying the same. Having said that, I would push for bloods because recurring fevers can be a sign of something more serious. Likely you're just very unlucky though, I'm sorry. Spring is on its way...

My DD started nursery at 5mths. Its been hell!!!! We manage around 2 weeks being well then we're sick for several weeks. Back to back colds, RSV, bronchiolitis, pneumonia, HFM, croup, V&D......
Endless trips and stays to A&E, antibiotics, inhalers etc
Shes breast fed and vaccinated. I feel as though I've been sold the lie .......

mine started nursery 3 mornings a week. Every Monday she’d go in normal and by Wednesday night she’d have a high temperature 5 nights of fever and trauma later she’d be normal again on the Monday! After 3 months she had lost so much weight and I had lost my will to live so I took her out and sent her to a childminder. After that she NEVER had a fever the next 2 years until going to school - despite going to another nursery around 3.
it’s normal when you start nursery but you can look for gentler alternatives. If you go part time they need lesser childcare which can also help.

My daughter was the same, it was so regular I could predict when the next one was coming, always over 40 degrees for 5 days. Always constipated too. We ended up referred to a paediatrician for bloods but all was fine. We later found out she has a dairy allergy / intolerance, not sure if this was connected to the fevers but dairy free fixed the constipation.

High temps can cause rapid breathing. It’s really scary when it happens.

Does alternating paracetmol and iburofen help at all. I found iburofen was much better for controlling temps in my youngest child.

i would seriously consider changing to a childminder! Poor kid. And that must mean you are off all the time too!

We're exactly the same and we're also considering moving him to a childminder to reduce the germ pool.

He's also in for 3 consecutive days and he never naps for more than 30 mins at nursery, so he's exhausted at the end of the week. He'll nap for 1-5-2 hours at home. So we'll try breaking the days up first to see if that could help.

i know everything is a phase and i know we'll come out the other side.... but, blimey, I hate this phase

Hi everyone,

Just to say thank you for your messages - everything feels so hard at the moment and to hear others are in the same boat, has really helped.

The poor boy now has croup and he was up 7 times last night... He's so unhappy 😞

To the people who have asked about ibu/calpol - we have a permanent ibu/calpol/throat spray/water station in our room that is basically in constant use - I don't know how we'd survive without it. It helps to eventually bring the temp down a bit but it only really takes the edge off.

I think I'll speak to the doc on Monday about getting him some blood tests. We'll consider moving him to a childminder, maybe me going down to part time and possibly being signed off in the short term.

Thanks again for your advice - I really appreciate it.

No childminder is available for the hours we work. We have a serious lack of support in our area and we're lucky to even have a space for our DD at nursery.
Its utterly shit but we dont have any other choice unfortunately 😕