18 month old has fever every other week - I can't cope

[IJustNeedToSleep]

Hi,

My DS is 18 months old. He has been ill relentlessly since he was about 11 months old. Never just a general cough or cold, he always gets fevers which last between 5-9 days. We've been to A&E 8 times with it.

When he's ill, he wakes up hourly through the night, he won't go to DH and screams like he's being tortured if I try to hand him over. I cannot put him down and I'm trying to hold down my job at the same time.

I am mentally and physically exhausted and I can't cope. How does anyone manage to cope with this? He gets well for about 5 days and then he gets another fever.

All the doctors say it's normal and they're not worried about his immune system. But I'm worried there's something else going on. I genuinly have nothing left and I feel so desperate and depleted.

I think I might have to get signed off work.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Was there anything at the root of it, other than a deluge of viral infections? How did you cope?

He has been chronically constipated since forever and I'm wondering if this could be related. The doctor has given us a long term course of laxatives but he's never well enough for long enough for us to start them...

I know all toddlers go through this stage of getting loads of illnesses... but this feels beyond extreme and my mental health is in pieces.

Laxatives is an unual route. Has he not been prescribed stool softner (movicol). Being constipated will make him feel unwell and will impact on his behaviour.

He's been prescribed Cosmocol - it's because he's been constipated for so long, it'll help his poos become less painful so he isn't withholding.

I know constipation will make him uncomfortable, but I'm struggling with his constant viral infections.

Has he been admitted to hospital with any of the infections or just been seen in A and E?

Just seen in A&E.... they've always just confirmed it's viral and said we just need to ride it.

Then it does sound normal I’m afraid. Some kids are just more prone to be ill that others. What prompts the trip to a and e? I’m wondering if there could be some thing else alongside eg breathing issue could suggest asthma too.

Doesn’t sound normal to me. No one gets back to back viruses for 7 months straight.

I’d be pushing for blood tests. My niece had childhood leukaemia and the symptoms sound very similar especially the night time fevers and sweats.

constipation is also a symptom.

Teeth?!?

😭

the trips to A&E are when he's had a 40+ fever for more than 5 days and his breathing is very fast.

i get it that toddlers get a lot of illnesses, but he gets a fever every single time. It's just so hard.

That’s not normal at all

But - is he in nursery? Kids who go at that age do seem to be poorly often. One of my friends actually quit work due to it! This does seem on the extreme end

Teething doesn’t cause a high fever.

I'm so sorry.

can I ask how they spotted it was more than just viral infections?

Yep - he's definitely teething too.... but I don't think teething can cause fevers of 40+

I'm considering quitting - I can't cope with spinning all the plates

They pushed for urgent full blood count and it showed signs so then there were more tests like a bone marrow one. Leukaemia is cancer of the blood.

I’m sorry for your niece, but some children do indeed spend the first year of nursery consistently ill.

OP- My son was one of them. From 13 months- 2 and a half, he had tonsillitis every 6 weeks. Every single cold, viral infection, HFM, stomach bug, croup, that was going around his nursery- he got. He seemed to be permanently on antibiotics. We were at A&E every other month with fevers over 40/41/42. He was using inhalers “just in case” by 2.

it was hell.

In the end I took my DS to a private ENT consultant because the tonsillitis was making him so ill and seemed to be the most consistent thing.

The ENT sent us to a general pediatrician consultant (NHS) who ran some bloods and gave DS a once over. All came back fine, told us we were just unlucky, and to take the Christmas break off with DS. Keep him at home/ not to mix with other people. Breastfeed as much as possible (I was still breastfeeding) and really focus on building both of us back up. The plan was to try a 6 week course of antibiotics the next time he got tonsillitis, and to put him on the surgical list.

Would you believe that after that Christmas he never got tonsillitis again 😂 Cost me £500 for a consultation, and apparently that was enough for DS

anyway all of that to say it’s in the realm of normal. But it’s awful. I’m a single parent and I nearly lost my job as I was off so much. I really empathize.

Oh sorry/ meant to say / all of the illnesses tailed off then, gradually. Now he’s 9 and he’s been off school 3 days in total this year. And 2 of those he definitely conned me.

It could be normal or there might be something going on. Does he eat plenty of red meat? Just wondered as a friend's kid who seemed to get ill very often was eventually diagnosed as having low iron levels.

Both my boys got high temperatures very easily when they were little, even with quite mild colds. When your boy is getting these fevers, are you giving him ibuprofen to bring the fever down? I always found it a lot more effective than paracetamol for sick kids.

@TiredofLDN
But wouldn’t you want a $2 blood test to rule out something more serious?
Yes, it’s not likely to be something as serious as leukaemia, but it’s worth two bucks to be sure if it were my child. The NHS can’t be so broke they can’t do a quick blood test?

Start the stool softener anyway so you have one less problem to deal with. It takes a while to really get everything in a regular pattern anyway.

I do agree with pp that some children do just seem susceptible to constant viruses. Yours sounds very sustained though so maybe the GP will run a blood test to make you feel more reassured?

Thank you so much for your message - I can't believe you handled all that. It's just brutal. Well done for surviving

Mine is the same @IJustNeedToSleep - about to go to sleep wondering if we’ll be off to A&E at 3am when they wake up boiling coughing and crying… I feel very similar to you.

They were actually admitted to hospital a few weeks ago and I think as part of that got full bloods which didn’t show anything untoward.

I do know several other people in the same boat. I really never thought it could be this bad! Miserable.

This was really helpful to read, I’m sorry it was so awful.

Argh I feel for you op. My youngest (2.2) is a bit like this, every time he gets a virus he seems hit hard with a fever, and it’s never 1/2 day, always more like 4-5. Last October he ended up in hospital for 4 days on iv antobiotics, for lymphadenitis - I’d taken him to the gp the day before and they’d fobbed me off saying ‘viral’. The next day he went all confused and was so pale, I rushed him to a&e. Even the doctors in a&e were saying ‘prob viral’, then a senior nurse pushed for bloods, and his infection markers were insanely high. He was really really poorly that time. He’s had another 2 rounds of antobiotics since then, and also another couple of illnesses we got through without AB’s. He started nursery last May so hoping this autumn/winter is the worst of it. As others have said, push for further tests if you’re worried there’s something underlying - always trust your gut.

I've done the one thing they say you should never do - compare your kids! My eldest was ill when he was a toddler, but never like this so it just feels so much more full on.

I'm so sorry you're in the same boat.

thank you for replying. I hope you get to have some sleep tonight.

My DS has already woken up 4 times 😭

I think that’s quite extreme. My DCs both went through the fist nursery year catching lots, but high fevers every couple of weeks isn’t normal. I’d be wanting blood tests to see if there’s anything else going on.