Parents with children who have had operations under general anaesthetic? What do you do whilst they are in theatre?

[oldmoutcider]

My son is due to have an operation next week. Never experienced this before so unsure what I should do. I would prefer to be in a quiet room by myself with no one talking to me as I know general chit chat would seriously piss me off. My partner is a smoker so will be off for a fag at any opportunity. What kind of things did you do to stay occupied whilst they were gone?

I've accompanied mine while nil by mouth, so straight to the restaurant to get food. Apart from that, walking around the hospital waiting for the bleeper to go off. I've taken activities before but not been able to focus on them.

I went to grab a coffee from the hospital coffee shop and just sat in the waiting area

I stayed on the ward, sitting next to the empty bed space. I was crying for a bit and one or two of the other parents were very supportive and kind. The operation didn't take too long and before I knew it, I was called down to Recovery where my 6 year old was sitting up in bed, quite perky!

Went to grab a quick coffee and snack then waited back up on the ward.

The first couple of times, candy crush saga and panicking (the first surgery was huge and risk). It was 8+ hours so horrendous.

After a few times, I'd go to the cafe and eat (starving due to the nil by mouth thing), have a nap. Go back to the Ronald McDonald opposite and have a bath, that sort of thing.

These days the GA's needed are quicker, so it's grabbing a bite to eat and then going to the waiting point to go into recovery.

Hope it all goes well. DS had grommets and then adenoids out at 2 and 3. He was first on the list both times. We went for a quick coffee and then just waited back on the ward. Second time we had 6 week old DD with us who kept us busy!

They can be quite distressed when they come round but it didn't last too long.

Drafted a chapter of my doctoral thesis. But that may not work for everyone.

Hi. Just thought I would update you after all of your advice.

He was first on the list this morning so we didn’t have to wait too long nil by mouth.

I cried when he was put under and I didn’t want to leave him.

We had a walk to the bottom of the street to have a look at the hotel my partner would be staying at whilst I stayed in the hospital and then went for breakfast.

I felt surprisingly ok whilst I was busy but when we got back to his room to wait I felt shaky and had a lay down. Definitely best to keep busy.

The operation didn’t go as planned unfortunately. He is as ok as can be but issues came up which need fixing first so a different operation scheduled for Friday now.

Thanks for all your advice x

Oh sending unmumsnetty hugs @oldmoutcider it's such a bloody horrible stress. Have you eaten? Showered?

@NellieElephantine It really is. I honestly imagined he would be up and about by this afternoon causing mischief! I have had a cold KFC which was surprisingly nice. Not managed a shower but switching with my partner for a nap and shower at the hotel tomorrow morning x

His first surgery was an emergency surgery and we were told it was 50/50 if he'd survive or not. He didn't even go to theatre, he was operated on in his PICU room because they said he wouldn't make to theatre. We waited in the parents room because it was as close as we could be and due to how serious it was, there's nothing else we could even think of doing.

His second surgery a few days later went pretty much the same way.

His 3rd surgery, he was considered stable and was able to go to theatre for the first time. I felt more comfortable at this stage to actually eat and things like that which were just impossible during his first two surgeries.

His last surgery, he was finally on a normal ward and it was scheduled, not an emergency like the previous ones. It was his longest surgery at 8 hours and I was climbing the walls towards the end so waited on the ward towards the last part but before that, we went out to eat and just did whatever we could to pass the time.

I'm so sorry things didn't go according to plan. Hopefully things will go smoothly on Friday and he'll be on the road to recovery. Is he expected to have to stay in for long? Big hugs.

@gallivantsaregood Thank you for the hugs! We were due to stay in until Sunday as that was the expected recovery but now they reckon it will be middle of next week at the earliest with the setback.

@Kirbert2 Oh god I don’t think I could have coped with an emergency op or an eight hour one. It was bad enough with three hours and plenty of notice. Going to have to go through it again at least twice in the next few weeks x

So sorry didn't go as expected and you're having to wait till Friday and go through all this again. Thinking of you and dc.

The 8 hour one was hard towards the end because I was certain something had gone wrong as it wasn't meant to take as long (we were told around 4 hours) but it turned out he just had some adhesions from previous surgeries which they needed to sort. That surgery was the key to getting him home so though it was stressful towards the end, it was definitely his 'best' surgery.

You'll get through it. Hopefully the next two aren't very long either and it all goes nice and smoothly with no more setbacks, we had our fair share of setbacks but my son is all good now, his last surgery was a year ago next month.

Massive hugs. Even with scheduled surgeries, it isn't easy xx.

@Kirbert2Aw so glad he is all good now.

Were you near home for his surgeries? We are two hours away at GOSH so it feels even more of a struggle at times x

Very similar to us. He was transferred from our local hospital to a children's hospital and we arrived at 4am with nothing but the clothes on our backs! It's definitely harder when you can't just nip home for a while because it's so far away.