Parents with children who have had operations under general anaesthetic? What do you do whilst they are in theatre?

[oldmoutcider]

My son is due to have an operation next week. Never experienced this before so unsure what I should do. I would prefer to be in a quiet room by myself with no one talking to me as I know general chit chat would seriously piss me off. My partner is a smoker so will be off for a fag at any opportunity. What kind of things did you do to stay occupied whilst they were gone?

DS2 has had several operations. I usually sit and read, or listen to a podcast. The last time, I also nearly had a heart attack because they told me it would be an eight hour surgery, and the surgeon walked into the room after just over two. I thought he'd died on the table! Turned out, the bowel they'd thought was perforated was just twisted, so it had been a much quicker fix. The surgeon made me go and have a sweet tea for the shock

I went and got a coffee, then read a book and did stuff on my phone. I might have had a nap as well, I can't fully remember

I just sat in the waiting room obsessing. I have always wanted to be there the second they called me back to the recovery room.

Her first surgery she was nearly 2. They had me back as soon as she started to stir and had me holding her when she actually woke up.

second surgery I did go get food right at the beginning. I had not eaten in a very long time due to the stupid hospitals “heart healthy” menu making everything available outside of core hours unsafe for me to eat. There was a coffee shop in the lobby that sold safe food. Once I wolfed that down, I went and sat in the waiting room.

My daughter had a 7 hour neurosurgery. For that, we ended up leaving the hospital and going into the nearest town to find some lunch. We were planning to stay in the hospital, and really couldn't bear to leave, but 7 hours is a long time when all you've got is Costa and we were anxious and snapping at each other and needed to pass the time somehow. She was going to intensive care post surgery and we weren't allowed to sit and wait on there. We knew the anaesthetist was going to ring and update us at the half way point, and again when she was being taken to recovery so we had time to get back when she was ready to come out. For her smaller surgeries we've hung round and got a coffee/sandwich or gone fot a walk in the park across the road.

Sat, waited, kept quiet

What can you do OP
We went and sat and waited
We were given a private side room near the theatre and as soon as the operation was over a doctor came to speak to us

For an emergency one I had the waiting room to myself as it was late in the evening so I just paced around anxiously (well, wasn't anxious at first so read a book, but I had been told it would just take ten minutes but it went on a lot longer and no one told me what was going on so I got very anxious)

When she had a GA for a gastroscopy I wasn't worried so just went to the cafe and had a cup of tea while I waited for them to call me.

When she had her tonsils out I sat in the waiting room and read my book/browsed mumsnet, and I was able to sit by her bed while she was in recovery so just sat there watching her, waiting for her to wake up.

I prayed for them to come out safely. Petrified.

I went to the canteen for breakfast then waited back in the ward until he was ready to come back.

I grabbed a coffee, called family and had a nap! Was very lucky that DD had a private room with a parents bed beside hers so I got some peace and quiet.

It was major surgery and her first time under GA but I was more composed than I expected to be if I’m honest. Her surgeons and anaesthetist were all fabulous and had my complete trust.

I’m not religious but there was a prayer room in the hospital my son was at, I went and sat in there as it was quiet and managed a wee snooze x

I went for a quick walk, then sat in waiting room - well I say sat, I paced around until he came back.

When my eldest had a 7/8 hour op, we walked into the city, bought a few things that dd had asked us to get for her. Then we went for a drink. Then walked back to the hospital.

The surgeon had advised us to leave the hospital, get out for a bit.

Was helpful to have a few tasks.

I was allowed into the bit where they administered the anaesthetic and then I went back to my son’s room (I cried great gulping sobs all the way back, seeing your child put to sleep is distressing), and waited. They called me down to the recovery area once he was done.

We were in a children's hospital and it made us realise how many children needed treatment or operations to justify having a massive hospital just for them. It was only a 1 hour operation and Ds was 10 months old. We went to the cafe and had a coffee then came back to the waiting room.

We talked to each other and to be honest it was bloody awful. Our son's operation was 2004 so no podcasts/audiobooks etc. Do anything to occupy your brain.

I've lost track of how many times I've done this with DD - certainly double figures - and I've got the routine down now!

Definitely go and eat something if you've been fasting alongside your child - the last thing you need is to be hungry and light headed when they come back, and you don't know when your next opportunity for food might be.

Now she's a bit bigger we are usually arriving on the morning of the surgery rather than the day before. So I have a bag packed just of the things we'll need until she goes down to theatre, and leave everything else in the car.

Take her down to theatre, eat, fetch other bits from the car and take back to the bed space.

The rest depends a bit on the surgery. There was one marathon one where I stayed in the bed space because the surgical team were sending messages to me from theatre as things weren't going to plan. Otherwise for a long surgery I'll take myself off for a walk - the nursing staff will take your mobile number and call you if you're not to hand when your child goes back to recovery - or just sit and read/listen to podcasts.

Or sleep, if you can!

Don't forget the staff have seen all of this before, many times, and will be very ready to support you.

I slept like a log. Ds's medical problems had taken up so much of my time with monitoring and reacting and I was worn out.

Right before they wheeled him away the nurse said "don't worry, we'll take care of him from here". No-one had taken that responsibility off me so completely before and it's like I just crashed. Slept so deeply in the parents' room for the whole 6 hours.

This was my situation almost a week ago...I went for a coffee and then came back up to the ward to crochet and text DH (he was at home with other DC).

Oh I also bought lunch in advance so that I could eat before DS arrived back from recovery. Always get some food down you as you'll need your energy to care for them when they wake up.

Our son had heart surgery. We walked around the city as we couldn’t sit still. They gave us a call towards the end of the operation, so we could walk back before they brought him out of theatre.

DD had emergency surgery at the old Sick Kids in Edinburgh and they told us to walk around the Meadows. Quite a large area which I knew well and it has never felt the same since. Agree with pp it’s distressing, good to keep moving.

Went down to the hospital cafe and had lunch (having been waiting with nil by mouth child all morning so not wanting to eat in front of them).

It depends how long they're expected to be in theatre. I'm mum to my now young adult who has had too many surgeries to count. If it's likely to be a long surgery, into hours, I'd go somewhere nice for something to eat, read my book and make sure wherever I was had good mobile reception. Early on made a rookie error of not checking that until we'd sat down in the restaurant and discovered we'd no reception! But I just explained to the restaurant manager, rang the ward from the restaurant's phone and asked them to call the restaurant if there was an emergency and needed us. 🙈

Mostly, I'd grab a sandwich and find somewhere quiet within the hospital to eat and read my book, or have some fresh air if the weather was decent. You never know when you'll next get the chance to have something decent to eat or get outside. I got very adept and being able to switch off for a bit and operate on the basis that if there's a problem, they'll contact me.

Hope it all goes smoothly.

Short ones, went for a walk. Sitting still doesn’t suit me. Longest one, did a full days work. Walked 38000 steps. Tried to eat. Went shopping.

Oh actually I forgot two of their surgeries I wasn’t even there, their Dad took them and I went to work.

I remember for the longest one I got a call to come in to the hospital which I did but it was still 3.5 hours before I could go in as they were in recovery being stabilised. That day was reporting for surgery at 4.30am, going down at 7am, coming out around 5.30pm, got to see them at around 9pm so a long day (and then had to leave for the night as no parents could stay overnight in intensive care and there was no parent accommodation on the hospital)