School are revoking my autistic son's five minute early pass and he's full of anxiety. Please help.

[Sweetchildofmine123]

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice please.

My son is 13, and autistic.
He's a very young 13, not anywhere near the same maturity as most of his peers.

My son's school are taking away all five minute early passes to all children who have them, and replacing with five minute LATE passes.
This has had a huge impact on my son, he's not coping at all.

He used to be able to leave lessons and school five minutes early to avoid crowded corridors, and the crowds at the beginning and end of each day, and it's the only thing school have ever offered that's actually helped him.

They've replaced this with a five minute late pass.
Which means he has to wait behind in lessons, potentially leading him to be late to the next lesson.
Furthermore, and more crucially, they've taken away the leave early pass, so now he leaves school in the crush along with 1,900 other children.

It isn't working for him, he's in a high state of anxiety and is not sleeping well.

I've begged school to keep the early pass for him, as all children are different, and what works for one child may not work for another, autistic or not.
They point black refuse this.
So he's lost the one and only aid that really helped him.

I've contacted CAMHS, WMIM, and SENDIASS, asking for urgent intervention, but nothing is fast as they've all overloaded with work.

So I've requested a slight adjustment to his timetable with the school's SENDCo, and I don't think it's unreasonable.

I've asked if he can get in to school early (which he already does) and to be able to leave at the end of the school day five minutes early to avoid the crowds, which he cannot cope with.

After speaking with my son, I've agreed to the five minute late during transition between lessons, but I've asked school for this one little adjustment at the end of the school to help my son.

He masks at school, so they don't see his meltdowns, he saves them for when he's home.
They have no idea how badly he suffers, though I've tried to tell them.

Am I being unreasonable in asking for this small adjustment to help my son's mental health?
I'm not asking for a reduced timetable, just for him to be able to leave before the crowds start.

So far, school have failed to reply.
Also, when I spoke to the SENDCo yesterday, who has never even met my son, she suggested some ridiculous ideas, and she was having none of him keeping his early pass.
She even mentioned him leaving mainstream school, when there's no need for this - he is a perfect student who gets good grades and never causes any trouble.
That's really upset me - Can they push him out even though he's a model student?

And by law, can I ask for this tiny amendment to his timetable to help him with his anxiety please?

Sorry to waffle on, I didn't want to drip feed.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me, as waiting for replies is a nightmare, and I need this sorting before the new school year starts in September.

Thanks so much.

Why doesn’t he wait for the crowd to go?

That sounds absolutely ridiculous! There is no one size fits all as you have rightly said.
Why on earth would the change something as a blanket policy when something currently works for your son.

This is not inclusive and they are not offering an individual approach.
It does not sound as if the SENCO was helpful or understanding. Absolutely should not be suggesting strategies if he/ she hasn’t even observed or seen your son.

I’d be wanting a one page profile for your son for September setting out their best endeavours under the Equalities act. Outlining strengths and needs and adjustments in place.
They are jeopardising his successful placement atm.

If the SENCO hasn’t been helpful I’d email the SEN Governor and raise your concerns. If there’s an SEN advisory teaching service involved I’d contact them too.

Have the school said why this change has come about? Do you know any other parents/children affected by this blanket ban you could get in touch with?

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He sees that as a punishment. Why should he have to leave late?

I think school are being totally unreasonable, and I will fight this.

I'm just hoping for some advice on here too.

Without wanting to overload your GP, could you have an appointment with your GP to discuss the increased anxiety and lack of sleep from this change? They may not have a solution, but my GP was very happy to put in an extra letter to cahms in this sort of situation and it is also a medical log of the increased symptoms.

Thank you, that's really helpful.
It is crazy, even my very level headed husband thinks so.

I've requested this one tiny amendment to his timetable, she not replied to me

However, she's been to see my son in class today, and told him there is nothing she can do.
But if he can't cope, she'll look to see what can be done.
Having told me nothing can be done, and ignoring my email re the adjustment, I don't have a lot oh faith in her.

That's a very good idea, I will do that.
Thank you.

For the end of the day, can he just wait out the crowd. This is what my dd does. Her school doesn’t shuffle the children out though because many of them have reason to stay after for various appointments or activities.

for the beginning of the day, if you aren’t getting anywhere with the school itself, I might look for a sympathetic teacher. At our school the teachers hold office hours, some choose before school, some after. During these times students can come in and ask questions. One of the teachers whose office hours are before school probably wouldn’t mind if your son just happened to have a question every single day.

these strategies would only work if it’s a freeform school like ours, but just a suggestion.

@Sweetchildofmine123
Shouldn’t have to fight for everything but sadly you do as I’m sure you know. He’s got you in his corner.

Will the crowd be gone if he waits 10-15 minutes instead? (I guess this depends on the layout of the school)

Why does he see waiting as a punishment. He sounds bright enough. Can you not help him reframe the thinking that it is an accommodation for him that he can stay in and wait. This is really important going forward as in other environments he will have to be able to find solutions rather than pick the solution he wants. I think being able to wait until after the rush subsides is school compromise and gives him a degree of control as he can make the decision of when to leave himself.
I say this as a ND person with a very ND family.

Apparently over 1/3 of children have a pass for one thing or another.
They're trying to reduce lost learning time, which I understand.
However, I've asked for such a tiny tweak to his timetable, I could ask for much more according to CAMHS, but he doesn't need it at the moment, and hopefully never.

But taking away the one thing that's helped him has caused damage.

I chose this school because they're supposed to be brilliant with SEND children.
How wrong I was.

No, I don't know anyone else unfortunately.

Out of interest OP, what did leaving the class 5 min early look like? If several pupils were doing this, it would be VERY disruptive for the entire class and a school has a responsibility to all dc. I can see how a 5min late pass would create less disruption for others whilst still allowing those who need quiet to have that concession.

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OP your school is no longer working with you or the other parents of ND kids and it is really sad to hear that. The school are directly distressing your child unnecessarily. This could lead to children not wanting to go to school at all. Then we are into a whole other ballgame of difficulty obviously and hassle for the school, so please do point out that this change could have very big consequences for the school as well as obviously for your son. In no way is this as simple as replacing lost learning time.

Suggest you contact the charity IPSEA and also the charity Contact for advice who each run an advice line. Also read special needs jungle online for more information about what you can do.
I am really sorry that the school have broken your son’s trust in this way. He’s lucky to have you to advocate for him. Good luck.

In my school we are changing to this system too.
the last 5 minutes are so important - this is where we assess whether the students ‘got it’ in the lesson. It honestly is so detrimental to miss this time - much better to miss the first few minutes when the register is being done.
Also, when students get to their next class, five minutes early, they still can’t go in because there’s another class/teacher in there, so they still have to experience the bust corridor - just at the other end!

Your son will benefit from building some resilience (I mean this kindly as a fellow SEND mum) - he will, after all, have to live in the real (often crowded) world after school x

Is his early pass written up in his EHCP? If it is then they’re breaking the law by not allowing it

I think you need to help him to understand that staying behind in the classroom to avoid the crowds which he doesn't like is not a punishment, it's him taking some control to avoid a difficult situation.

This will be very valuable learning for him - he needs to be proactive in working out ways to avoid stressors himself.

I can understand where the school is coming from - there's less learning in the first 5 minutes when the class is settling down than in the last 5 mins when the teacher is summarising the class, answering questions etc. You say your son is doing well academically, so this is particularly important.

I think you need to support your son to accept these changes rather than look for an exemption for him, which it seems you are very unlikely to get.

I would send this

Dear HT.

Abi are aware by maw you must make reasonable adjustments under the equality act for disabled students .

Reasonable adjustments are to help the disabled person be included.

Can you justify why you have revoked the reasonable adjustment of leaving 5 minutes early to avoid the crowds and instead are insisting on 5 minutes late despite me documenting this as making his anxiety and sleep difficulties increase.

many thanks

The ball is in their court then to justify why they are makings something worse when the law states otherwise .

This actually sounds a pretty good adjustment. It does avoid lost learning because leaving 5 mins early means students are packing up 10 mins early and often miss marking their work. It also means if the corridors clear quickly he could leave 3 mins late instead of 5.
Unless you work in a school you have no idea how much disruption these passes cause. Each parent thinks it's a reasonable adjustment for their one child. When 1/3 of the class leave early, your lesson ends early in effect.
I'd work with your DS on reframing the pass. Explain it isn't a punishment, it actually allows him more control over when he chooses to leave. Having a couple of students arrive 1-2 mins late is far less disruptive than at the end.

If his anxiety is increasing and he is not coping, you should definitely apply fo an EHCP as soon as possible (before the School breaks up for the Summer). Its a long process, so get that underway whilst you look for support elsewhere. You don't need the support of Senco, you can apply yourself and use letters/reports from CAMHS as evidence. Make sure all your contact with the school around needs and provision is copied by email, so it is in writing. If this school is not able to support his needs, you may want to consider what alternative schools are available. PM me if you need any more support on how to apply for the EHCP, but IPSEA is a very good source of information.

Agree with this. Lots of schools follow this model. It's very detrimental to all pupil learning not to do the plenary at the end of the lesson whether the student has special needs or not.
Early leavers also disturb the last part of the lesson for everyone however discete they try to be.
It actually draws less attention to the student too if they leave after the other students.
Starter activities at the begining of lessons are designed so students can just come in and get on with them. That allows a slightly staggered start for any students arriving from far-flung parts of the school as well as any students with late exit or toilet passes.
This is the standard format for lesson planning so the change would actually appear to be in the best interest of your child's progress

I agree with this kindly OP. I've worked in numerous secondaries and this will be a reaction to a system that isn't working.

In crowded situations out in the real world, it's often best to wait until everyone's gone and then go. I have autism and hate crowds. Therefore say if I'm waiting for a train, I'll give it a few minutes and wait until I'm the last one off so that I'm behind the crowd - much better than trying to rush ahead of it!

I plead with you on behalf of the school to try and frame this positively with your DS. You have my sympathy.

I can understand why the school is doing this. Having one or two children leave early disrupts the end of the lesson for other children, at a time when the teacher is doing things like explaining homework or recapping the lesson. The school have decided that is not acceptable on a daily basis and have offered an equal reasonable adjustment. It is hard enough to maintain attention and behaviour at the end of a school day with a load of hormonal teenagers, and by avoiding something that makes that even harder, the school is doing right by the majority of students and the teacher.

If your son is able to achieve well in mainstream school then at his age, he should be able to understand that he is not being punished, he is being given the opportunity to wait until crowds have gone because he doesn’t like crowds. He has a choice, go with crowd or wait. I think you need to work on him making a better choice or coping with the anxiety if he chooses to leave with the crowd.