School are revoking my autistic son's five minute early pass and he's full of anxiety. Please help.

[Sweetchildofmine123]

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice please.

My son is 13, and autistic.
He's a very young 13, not anywhere near the same maturity as most of his peers.

My son's school are taking away all five minute early passes to all children who have them, and replacing with five minute LATE passes.
This has had a huge impact on my son, he's not coping at all.

He used to be able to leave lessons and school five minutes early to avoid crowded corridors, and the crowds at the beginning and end of each day, and it's the only thing school have ever offered that's actually helped him.

They've replaced this with a five minute late pass.
Which means he has to wait behind in lessons, potentially leading him to be late to the next lesson.
Furthermore, and more crucially, they've taken away the leave early pass, so now he leaves school in the crush along with 1,900 other children.

It isn't working for him, he's in a high state of anxiety and is not sleeping well.

I've begged school to keep the early pass for him, as all children are different, and what works for one child may not work for another, autistic or not.
They point black refuse this.
So he's lost the one and only aid that really helped him.

I've contacted CAMHS, WMIM, and SENDIASS, asking for urgent intervention, but nothing is fast as they've all overloaded with work.

So I've requested a slight adjustment to his timetable with the school's SENDCo, and I don't think it's unreasonable.

I've asked if he can get in to school early (which he already does) and to be able to leave at the end of the school day five minutes early to avoid the crowds, which he cannot cope with.

After speaking with my son, I've agreed to the five minute late during transition between lessons, but I've asked school for this one little adjustment at the end of the school to help my son.

He masks at school, so they don't see his meltdowns, he saves them for when he's home.
They have no idea how badly he suffers, though I've tried to tell them.

Am I being unreasonable in asking for this small adjustment to help my son's mental health?
I'm not asking for a reduced timetable, just for him to be able to leave before the crowds start.

So far, school have failed to reply.
Also, when I spoke to the SENDCo yesterday, who has never even met my son, she suggested some ridiculous ideas, and she was having none of him keeping his early pass.
She even mentioned him leaving mainstream school, when there's no need for this - he is a perfect student who gets good grades and never causes any trouble.
That's really upset me - Can they push him out even though he's a model student?

And by law, can I ask for this tiny amendment to his timetable to help him with his anxiety please?

Sorry to waffle on, I didn't want to drip feed.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me, as waiting for replies is a nightmare, and I need this sorting before the new school year starts in September.

Thanks so much.

A reasonable adjustment that doesn't address the needs of the disabled person isn't a reasonable adjustment. This is why it's crucial to involve the disabled person in decision making processes. You might think that the school's proposed change is fine. The disabled person in question disagrees and is distressed by it. So maybe someone at the school should actually listen to him? Like they're paid and legally obliged to do.

Not read all the replies, but, under the Equalities Act 2010 there is a legal obligation to provide Reasonable Adjustments which should be person centred and not generic.

https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2023/04/what-are-reasonable-adjustments-and-how-do-they-help-disabled-pupils-at-school/

So the next class has to wait for him to get there and settle in. Either way there's 5 minutes of potential disruption. So if there's 5 minutes of time that the disabled person needs, and one solution is distressing and the other isn't, why deliberately force him to do the distressing one?

Leaving late resolves this issue.

Not for everyone it doesn’t. For some DC, leaving late doesn’t work.

Tell him it isn't a punishment.

Is the early pass mentioned within the provision of his EHCP? If so, they are legally obligated to implement this.

I would also contact the EHCP coordinator for a discussion to raise concerns. He / she should 1. Be able to advise 2. Make contact with school on your behalf.

If it’s not reinstated and it’s negatively impacting on him and increasing his needs, request an early review of his EHCP. If the early pass is not within the provision it is one of the things you can request at the review to be included.

(Sorry if I have repeated anything others may have said. I haven’t read the posts but wanted to reply)

Kid has an easier life because they leave 5 mins earlier and some MUMSnetters are whinging and making shit up about classrooms surely being thrown into turmoil over it when the reality is the first few times it happened was probably weird for everyone, but I bet the other kids dont give a tiny shit now.

Im embarrassed for those of you saying this is unreasonable.

Perhaps he needs to be helped to understand that waiting 5 minutes after everyone else is not a punishment…….leaving 5 minutes early can be disruptive to others but it also means he’s packing up even earlier so with miss the recap etc and reminders at the end of a class. Arriving a little later to a lesson means he just misses the settling down bit of everyone finding their seats, getting their books out etc

he can’t always get life on his terms and leaving 5 minutes later is a compromise. I hate crowds myself so if I go to concerts etc I’ll always leave as one of the last so help me not panic.

But has he even tried it? Or is him mum getting wound up which is in turn winding him up?

Or ... School could just not take away the reasonable adjustment that they allowed and set a precedent for, for no good reason.

What did I just read? Idiosyncrasies? We’re talking about a disabled child. I honestly despair.

So if for two students, arriving five minutes late to a lesson is what they need, and for another two, leaving five minutes early is what they need, that's ten minutes learning lost for everyone else. That just isn't tenable.

But maybe it’s not working or they wouldn’t be changing it? OP hasn’t given the change a chance - not even tried it out.

@FormerAnywhere if you think that public spending will go down if we push those children managing in mainstream with the aid of a 5 minute pass into special school, well, I very much hope you're not in charge of any significant budgets. Jesus H Christ - this sort of failure by schools is costing all of us a fortune. This child is academically able, not costing the taxpayer one extra penny at the moment, and the cross mums of mumsnet want him kicked out of mainstream to what, independent special, at the cost of £80 or £90k a year? Are you all okay?

Who are you to decide it’s for no good reason?

The people inside the school, working with all the children involved, probably have completely valid reason.

But he doesnt need to leave early he needs to avoid crowds, school have offered up an alternative for him to do this that is more easily accommodated by the school.
He wants to leave early because he prefers this to leaving late. School are not denying him the adjustment but the adjustment must be reasonable and presumably students leaving early is causing more disruption to learning than leaving late, therefore school have determined that avoiding crowds can be just as effectively achieved by students arriving late.
A teacher has already stated that the students do not all arrive together whereas they do all leave together. It may be that OP's son will leave 5 mins later but due to the corridors being quieter will arrive at the lesson fewer than 5 minutes later than peers thus losing less learning time.

I think you are overreacting op (depending on how stressed he is).
A crowd is unlikely to cause that much of a problem even if he justleft last and walked slowly he would probably avoid the crowds.
How does he cope at airports or theme parks?

I think schools throw the same adjustments at everyone and dont care that its not helping some of them which is how so many kids at his school have this adjustment. They cannot possibly all need it. And can be actively harming many of them with lost learning and other in class as disruption
My dd is audhd and they putvon her pen portrait about time out cards etc but i didnt want her to have that as she doesnt need it - but it didnt get removed. Pe are also allowing her to sit out which again she doesnt need.

I agree with others the school dont need to make exactly that adjustment.

But it is true mainstream schools are rigid about some things affecting asd students like uniform and taking some subjects etc

You don’t know leaving early isn’t reasonably required. Leaving late doesn’t work for some.

Some schools manage it without losing 10 mins learning time for the rest of the class.

This is the issue that all schools are facing now. Special educational needs are not something that maybe 1 child in a class has - there are a large proportion of needs in every class. Being able to adjust to all of these is actually impossible - some students like quiet and regimented routines; others struggle to be quiet. Some really flourish on trips and sports days; others can’t cope with the change in routine.

Maybe some people want adjustments to be 5 min late and others want to be 5 min early and the class clearly can’t be disrupted at both ends as the lesson would be completely compromised for everyone. Reasonable adjustments are just that. Reasonable. A whole class being disturbed at both ends would constitute an unreasonable adjustment as it would be too detrimental to the other students who also have to be factored in. So perhaps the school have had to make a choice.

My daughter is autistic and just finished her first week of high school. She has all the passes which have helped her a lot but she actually hates using the 5 minute early one as she’s missed a lot by missing the last bit of class. The 5 minute late one is much more helpful. I’d actually reframe the conversation to find ways to help your son manage this change. Can you stagger it? Find specific trigger points (my daughter finds two particular transitions to be the hardest) and work on this later or first? Give some extra time to trial it slowly? I think it’s actually a positive move and will be much better for him but absolutely appreciate that change is super hard for these kids (my daughter is a high level masker as well)

if a school has got 30% of children out of class thats a recipe for total chaos.
theyve probably had an increase in bullying that such passes lead to.

In this specific case, no. Sounds like Mum just needs to help him manage the change. As will be the case for majority of SEND cases tbh with the implausible numbers there are. Not everyone has the same needs, systems have to be designed for the majority. This is just life. It's unfair

This.

Of course the school will have their reasoning. I'm so fed up of any difficult decisions publicly funded institutions have to make being framed as evil. Not every single thing is about you

I agree. He can still avoid crowds if he goes later but less disruption to other students and teaching.