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Coping with the death of my daughter

40 replies

scottishmamainlondon · 26/06/2025 21:50

Tell me if you think this should be on a different thread.
My 13 year old daughter passed away on Monday. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant, and my daughter will never be around to meet her baby brother. I don’t know what to do. Ds16 is very high support needs autistic, often nonverbal, and he is really upset. She was my 9 year olds best friend, and my poor 3 year old barely knows what’s going on and just keeps crying and begging for Amelia. We’ve gently explained what happened but has anyone else gone through something similar?

OP posts:
meagain3 · 26/06/2025 21:51

No advice op but I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughterFlowers

CatchHimDerry · 26/06/2025 21:53

No advice, only deepest condolences to your family xx

Namechang36368 · 26/06/2025 21:55

No words of advice, just my profound sympathy.

WhatTheShit · 26/06/2025 21:55

I am so sorry for your loss Flowers

Fartughtyred · 26/06/2025 21:56

My heart goes out to you OP, so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Praying for the Lords comfort, peace and strength for you and your family in the days ahead. Flowers

MrsPerfect12 · 26/06/2025 21:56

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Do you want to tell us about her. Only if you want to of course. 💐

Changed18 · 26/06/2025 22:00

I’m sorry for your loss.

Ricoletti · 26/06/2025 22:02

I am so sorry for your loss.m @scottishmamainlondonI wish I could hug you, but please know I’m sending you love from afar.

i wonder if your children’s schools (or any other professionals in your life like midwife/health visitor?) have any recommendations for therapeutic support for your children. Some schools commission counsellors who come into schools and do age/stage appropriate interventions like play therapy with children. Or they may know of a local organisation that can support with some children’s grief counselling.

there are some wonderful children’s books on the topic of loss and grief. Perhaps a therapeutic story might be a helpful way to support your children’s understanding?
I’ve linked below an article that has some suggestions, I’ve used some of these in my job and they have been helpful.
https://www.bestproductsreviews.co.uk/grief-books-for-children?targetid=dsa-39612206060&matchtype=&device=m&campaignid=15548184439&creative=569168980240&adgroupid=131395587735&feeditemid=&loc_physical_ms=1007069&loc_interest_ms=&network=g&devicemodel=&placement=&keyword=$&target=&aceid=&adposition=&trackid=uk_all_top_11_2&mId=407-132-4411&trackOld=true&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=15548184439&gbraid=0AAAAACWZmZmuPMzCVo2u9Dh0HaY3DNHQZ&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0veQyP2PjgMVwYtQBh1sDx2aEAAYASAAEgL-SvD_BwE

I also recommend some specific counselling for you dear @scottishmamainlondon. you will know if this is the right time to do this or if later may be better. But you are important and precious and deserve all the support in the world for what you are going though xxx

Our 10 Best Grief Books For Children in the UK - June 2025 | BestProductsReviews.co.uk

Easily compare & choose from the 10 best Grief Books For Children for you. Don't buy a Grief Books For Children in the UK before reading our rankings | BestProductsReviews.co.uk

https://www.bestproductsreviews.co.uk/grief-books-for-children?targetid=dsa-39612206060&matchtype=&device=m&campaignid=15548184439&creative=569168980240&adgroupid=131395587735&feeditemid=&loc_physical_ms=1007069&loc_interest_ms=&network=g&devicemodel=&placement=&keyword=$&target=&aceid=&adposition=&trackid=uk_all_top_11_2&mId=407-132-4411&trackOld=true&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=15548184439&gbraid=0AAAAACWZmZmuPMzCVo2u9Dh0HaY3DNHQZ&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0veQyP2PjgMVwYtQBh1sDx2aEAAYASAAEgL-SvD_BwE

Maxorias · 26/06/2025 22:03

So sorry for your loss OP.

I understand wanting to do something, anything, to make it a little bit less painful, but the only thing you can do is give your children space to process and loving arms to cry into. They'll each process and grieve in their own way, and while you can be there for them, you can't do it for them.

Acceptance comes in time - it doesn't mean that it's okay or that it's fair, it's just an acknowledgement that there are things that come to pass that cannot be prevented or changed.

If at all possible - and when you feel up to it - it may be beneficial to look into the children accessing some professional support.

So sorry your family had to go through this.

MikeRafone · 26/06/2025 22:05

I’m so sorry 😔

lucya66 · 26/06/2025 22:10

I’m so sorry for you all. You poor things.
its still so early. You will be grieving now for a long time. Lean into it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other for your other children. stay healthy and strong for your baby.

keep breathing. You will get through this, you all will.
Mothers are the strongest people on earth. You create life and I’m so sorry your daughter is gone.

Bluehydra · 26/06/2025 22:11

I have no words of wisdom but I am so sorry. 😢 I hope you have support around you x

RogersOrganismicProcess · 26/06/2025 22:18

Sorry for your loss @scottishmamainlondon This charity was brilliant for our family after DD died https://www.lovejasmine.org.uk/

EveryOtherNameTaken · 26/06/2025 22:22

I can't imagine your grief but couldn't read and run.

You need to all share and talk about this with each other and maybe get some professional support 💐

Grinchybinchy · 26/06/2025 22:22

I wish I had any words that might help but I don’t, I am so truly sorry for your loss and I hope you find the strength to get through this ❤️

Lampzade · 26/06/2025 22:23

♥️

Nugg · 26/06/2025 22:25

Oh goodness I’m so very sorry to read this. Sending love xxx

Flamingmentalcats · 26/06/2025 22:25

I'm so sorry ❤️

Awishcometrue · 26/06/2025 22:27

Absolutely heartbreaking what you are going through, I have no advice but sending you lots of love and strength 💐

herbygarden · 26/06/2025 22:28

I am so sorry OP 💐

nocoolnamesleft · 26/06/2025 22:29

I am so sorry. If you want to talk about your daughter, we would be honoured to listen.

LadyGAgain · 26/06/2025 22:29

There are no words. I am so sorry. Would you like to tell us about her? Flowers

tealandteal · 26/06/2025 22:36

I’m so sorry for your loss, and your lovely family. If you’d like to tell us about her please do. You can reach out to your midwife for support as well.

MumBlingAgain · 26/06/2025 22:37

I am so sorry for your loss OP. I can't imagine how hard it must be for all of you right now.

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