Daughter embarrassing isssue

[Bethany34w]

I have a 13 year old I'm getting a little concerned, never had any issues arise like this before, she us currently unwell has a slight fever for a few days but what's concerning me she has diahrea but she's not making it to the toilet in time, maybe I'm being completely wrong but she just seems a little old for this to be a recurring issue, I am struggling to hide my frustration a little as I know she isn't well but she just expects me to clean her up, I feel like she needs to use her initiative and come up with a solution rather than keep pooing herself then just expecting me to deal with it. Also she's not giving much info other than " I just don't feel good"

They’re not both just bread, OP. Croissants are very fatty; they’re made with enriched dough that contains loads of butter, which can aggravate stomach problems.

Plain toast is a lot blander and easier to digest when people are unwell - which is why it’s what the NHS always advises for people who need to eat something with an upset stomach.

13...she's still a child! Of course she's going to turn to you for help, she'll be distressed & embarrassed. Don't make her feel ashamed by getting frustrated that she's asking you for help

Diarrhoea will also make her weak on top of her other symptoms, I can't believe your begrudging her care at this time tbh with you.

And, yes, she needs to a doctor

She’s unwell!

I would absolutely help my DD clean up at any age if she wanted me to.

Put a laundry basket in the bathroom and tell her to put the soiled clothes in and have a shower any time she has an accident.
Have a stream of clean bottoms in there too.

I would encourage her to stay in her room if it’s closer to the bathroom and let her have the TV/laptop or something to watch films on.
I would bring her her food and let her relax in bed.

Put bin bags under the sheet incase she has an accident in bed.

It shouldn’t last more than 48 hours.

A sanitary pad or 2 is a great idea!

I would get her to wear these at night too.

You don't eat with a bug lots of fluids dry toast or plain rice at most but first day no eating

what an interesting thread choice for your first one, name and number username….

I agree, don't engage. Very suss.

I'm not begrudging her care of course not. Please allow me to be clear I have not been horrible to her or made her feel bad of course not I just questioned within myself whether at 13 It was normal to be taking care of her like she was baby/toddler, when she's soon to become a young adult. Perhaps I am wrong I never claimed I wasn't that's why i asked the question? I seem to recieve very mixed responses some agreeing with me some disagreeing with me. So I guess it's just whatever she wants/is more comfortable with.

Unfortunately she refused dried toast said no way I'm eating dry toast. Thankfully she is feeling a bit better however now she is saying she is starving and going to order a kebab I advised not the best idea but she is insisting it's very clean and healthy and good protein and salad.

I find that when I have D&V eating actually helps me.
It sort of pushes it through my system faster.

Plain things are best and to try and avoid spicy foods or citrus, anything with too strong flavours but honestly eating something is better than nothing.

She should just listen to her body and if she’s hungry eat a small meal.

Having drinks are important, even if it’s a cup of tea or hot chocolate or warm squash.

What?? Have you never had the shits? Your poor daughter isn’t well and is probably mortified and you’re complaining about it being an inconvenience to you.

I floated the pad idea but she refuses and says she is never ever wearing one of them.

But I haven't complained about it being an inconvenience to me I simply questioned it

I got norovirus the night my mum died in hospital. The next morning I broke wind and soiled myself. It happened again later that day when I forgot I shouldn’t fart until I was better. So I’m not sure she can help the soiling but she is old enough to bundle her clothes up and get in the shower

Whats suss? I am new and after thr first comment about name in username I have changed it however it hasn't reflected in this post.

This may be completely off the mark, but..

I have anxiety. As a part of my anxiety, I often feel as though I'm going to be sick/need the loo. But, generally, I KNOW that it's not going to happen, and as soon as I feel less anxious the feeling will go away. Therefore, sometimes, when I've actually been unwell, I've not realised, and I've written the feeling off as anxiety. I've thrown up a couple of times and not made it to the loo because I didn't think I actually would. Honestly, if I ran to the bathroom every time I felt sick, I'd always be there. And by the time I realise it's NOT a false alarm, it's too late.

I don't know whether this is anything like what your daughter is going through, but it might be.

Probiotics

I would keep encouraging her to wear one (even if you bribe her with her kebab).

She’s going to have to wear one eventually and it may be better to do it now and get used to it, than waiting until her period starts.

Howling at the pretend stupidity about what to eat when having diarrhoea.

I thought school hols finished

@BarbaraVineFan oh wise one. How did you know so early on in the thread?

Getting posters to discuss cleaning up a 13 year old's poo. Just seemed suspect to me 🤢

Definitely no kebabs for a few days. The grease will not help with the diarrhoea! She needs to make an attempt to clean her mess and you will sanitise behind her. I she generally, quite messy and babied? She should feel a sense of embarrassment at soiling herself at this age. Don't give her an option say " Rinse your clothes and underwear in the bath and pop them in the machine. Grab your bedding on the way as well and I will put it all on a hot wash so it's nice and clean for tomorrow. Once you've done that, give me a shout and I will help you make your bed".

Barbara wine van, please could you expand? I'm super confused????

OP, it's not a punishment. That is the standard diet in these circumstances. The difference between bread and croissants are that croissants are made with a lot of butter. Greasy food will just run through her, which is clearly what is happening. Plain toast. Cooked eggs can apparently slow down the episodes of diarrhea. Plain chicken or meat should also be fine, salted crackers or pretzels can be useful in replacing the salt that she will be losing. It must be pretty bad if she keeps soiling herself, surely a few days of eating plain unappetising food is worth it if it helps solve the problem.

Stop cleaning her up, she's old enough to do it herself.
It might lead to a miraculous cure.

How is she insisting on ordering a kebab, when she's only 13?