Teenager not going to the loo at school

[fruitstick]

DS2 confessed today that he hardly ever goes to the loo at school. He's always been a bit funny about loos and he says the school loos are horrid.

When he was younger he refused to go at nursery and was forever wetting himself on the way home. Obviously as he got older he couldn't go all day but now he says he's 'trained his bladder'

Do I need to worry about this? I'm concerned he's getting very dehydrated, especially as he does a lot of sport.

Or is this a completely normal thing. I'm a menopausal woman so go to the loo about every hour!

Both my son's also say they never use the school toilets.
I certainly did , when at school but I was a teenage girl with periods.
Maybe boys just don't?

That's a relief (excuse the pun).

Maybe it is just a boy thing.

My ds15 doesn't use the loos either he says their horrible and the kids hang around vaping in their.

My 15 year old ds won't use the toilet at school either because he says they are horrible.

Same here. I think he will have a pee if absolutely desperate but on no account a poo. He says there's vaping in there and an insalubrious atmosphere.

Both my daughters would avoid using the toilet at secondary school. They only used it when they had to (so a few days every month)

Not sure why.

DS13 won't use the loos in school because he says they're horrible. He comes home bursting every day.

I never used the toilets at school and my older two (secondary) say the toilets are grim so they avoid them.

School toilets are horrible, I once used ours on an inset day (no students on site) I went into four cubicles before I found one I could use, broken locks, broken flush buttons, no toilet seat etc and that's not even thinking about how noisy and busy they are. Students often told me they didn't go and I'm not surprised.

My DD with ASD has a toilet pass and has access to normal toilets during lesson time or separate individual toilets with importantly for her, no hand driers. If you can find out why in particular he won't go, then you can make a case to school for a toilet pass these are useful for students who need to access the toilets during quieter periods of the day.

Same here. Intimidating vaping kids in there. I used to avoid them when I was at school too. I think it's very common.

DD would only use school loo in dire emergency.

I had loo phobia too. Never once went for a number two in either primary or secondary. In secondary I rarely peed but if I did it was the loo by reception which we were allowed to use but was mostly a staff/ visitor one and was kept nice. I usually managed on one tampon a day as I went straight on the pill as soon as periods came because I was a bloody wimp and couldn’t handle cramps and bleeding so I just had very light spotting from the pill. On the rare occasions I ventured into the girls loos they were minging. I can only imagine what the boys must have been like.
I’m not much better now to be honest, it always feels like an ordeal if I have use the loo while out of the house

I barely ever used them at school either. I lived a 5 minute walk away, so would go before I left and when I went home for lunch. It was just about manageable, even on my period.

Neither of mine use the school loos. DS got in trouble for nipping home at lunchtime once, but it was a very light scolding as I expect they are all v aware of how unpleasant and intimidating it is in the block toilets. DH worries that they avoid fluids on school days but it is what it is.

Yes it's a concern it could caused a nasty UTI! How does he manage? Boys can stand up surely it can't be that bad on and out for a wee? I can't concentrate when I'm desperate for the loo!

My son 14 says he struggles to wee if he knows someone is standing next to him (in the next cubical) and hardly ever uses the urinals. He will do his best to avoid them and if it’s near the end of the day will hold it until we get home.

That can’t be healthy OP and must be very uncomfortable.

Raise it with the school. If the toilets aren’t clean then that’s on them and needs to be rectified. They should be cleaned every so often.

DD 11 never uses them at school either. Never did and no accidents either,but she normally goes as soon as she's home. She can go for hours at home/when out and about too. I suspect she "trained" her bladder too.

I’ve commented on something similar recently, but my DS is 13 and he also avoids public toilets as much as possible, especially at school. For him, his biggest reason is he hates the lack of privacy and fins it impossible to go into a toilet let alone use one. He purposefully avoids eating and drinking during a school day so he doesn’t have to use one, which I understand isn’t healthy. He also doesn’t like the lack of hygiene in them.

My son doesnt either he hates the toilets at school. I stopped using them when i went to school because the cleaner thought it was a good idea to use neat bleach on the toilet seat and not wash it off. Lets just say i couldnt sit down for a good while 😥😱

Ds never went to the toilet at school, he held on till home time, I've driven home.like an F1 driver many times.

This is awful. And if this problem is this widespread it should be a MN campaign for DfE and government action.
School budgets are on their knees but imagine if there were a student dignity fund to fund enhanced cleaning (with cleaner of the appropriate sex to the toilets)
Theres something particularly horrible about making any sort of public place so unusable that you have to go home- it’s discriminatory in so many ways. Kids can’t learn properly if they’re desperate for the toilet and/or withholding drink and food to avoid it.

My children won’t use the school toilets. Unfortunately, the school can only do so much. As soon as they fix or clean something in there (family member works in secondary school), some delightful students destroy it.

Has everyone on heat already forgotten the school strike/protests that students instigated not so long ago?

Secondary school toilets are grim. Despite school's best efforts, they are dirty, broken and used for gangs of students to gather together and cause havoc. To vape, to do tiktoks, to bully other students. And that's just the girls.

Even with cleaners going in 2-3 times a day plus extra when problems were reported, students just don't look after them. And schools don't have a bottomless pit to keep repairing/replacing things.

Then you'll have a queue to use the accessible toilets as they're bigger/cleaner/less damaged and those students who genuinely need a single toilet space are not able to use them.

No, it's not right that kids feel they have to limit their fluids to avoid using the facilities, but there are quite a few parents who need to acknowledge that their child is one of those causing problems for everyone else. If their child treated their toilet at home the way they do at school - blocking them with paper/rubbish, breaking locks off because they've squeezed too many people in one cubicle, kicked the door in because they feel the person locked in there has been in too long, scrawled obscenities over the walls and hidden in there to vape because they think staff won't know - trust us, we know, it's stinks like a sweet factory - parents would be up in arms and making their child fix it.

My DD hardly ever uses the school toilets unless she absolutely has to. I don't blame her, they where more of a no go area when I was at school as you would get bullied in the school tolites.
Her's is a modern school with open toilets, which I think are much better, but she's still not keen.

The school I work in has also installed open plan toilets they are much better (less bullying happens and they can't vape as they are staffed by teachers during break times). But our poor cleaning staff have a difficult time keeping them clean as they still make a right mess of them. So I'm not surprised if kids still avoid them.