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Children's health

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Original poster

Teenager not going to the loo at school

40 replies

fruitstick · 18/07/2023 18:02

DS2 confessed today that he hardly ever goes to the loo at school. He's always been a bit funny about loos and he says the school loos are horrid.

When he was younger he refused to go at nursery and was forever wetting himself on the way home. Obviously as he got older he couldn't go all day but now he says he's 'trained his bladder'

Do I need to worry about this? I'm concerned he's getting very dehydrated, especially as he does a lot of sport.

Or is this a completely normal thing. I'm a menopausal woman so go to the loo about every hour!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MigGirl · 21/07/2023 06:28

minisoksmakehardwork · 21/07/2023 06:16

Has everyone on heat already forgotten the school strike/protests that students instigated not so long ago?

Secondary school toilets are grim. Despite school's best efforts, they are dirty, broken and used for gangs of students to gather together and cause havoc. To vape, to do tiktoks, to bully other students. And that's just the girls.

Even with cleaners going in 2-3 times a day plus extra when problems were reported, students just don't look after them. And schools don't have a bottomless pit to keep repairing/replacing things.

Then you'll have a queue to use the accessible toilets as they're bigger/cleaner/less damaged and those students who genuinely need a single toilet space are not able to use them.

No, it's not right that kids feel they have to limit their fluids to avoid using the facilities, but there are quite a few parents who need to acknowledge that their child is one of those causing problems for everyone else. If their child treated their toilet at home the way they do at school - blocking them with paper/rubbish, breaking locks off because they've squeezed too many people in one cubicle, kicked the door in because they feel the person locked in there has been in too long, scrawled obscenities over the walls and hidden in there to vape because they think staff won't know - trust us, we know, it's stinks like a sweet factory - parents would be up in arms and making their child fix it.

I totally agree, even with open toilets which are staffed during breaks. The mess they make is awful 😖. And they will still squeeze more then one student into a cubicle as well. I had to tell two girls off the other day just for doing this, it seems to be like a game to them.

MigGirl · 21/07/2023 06:36

beeonmybonnett · 18/07/2023 20:03

That can’t be healthy OP and must be very uncomfortable.

Raise it with the school. If the toilets aren’t clean then that’s on them and needs to be rectified. They should be cleaned every so often.

It doesn't matter how often they are cleaned, the kids mess them up constantly. They would have to be cleaned after every student had used them (not all students make a mess but so many do that it's impossible to keep them in order).

Parents need to teacher their kids better about respecting public property 😒 and stop expecting schools to solve every problem. That goes for vandalism in the classrooms to, I work in a good area as well. We don't have many pp students compared to the national average.

megletthesecond · 21/07/2023 06:41

DD doesn't go at school either. It's far from ideal.
She says the toilets are grotty and there's often naughty kids in them. To be fair to her school I know they're trying to crack down on the kids messing around in them. They just don't have spare staff to always patrol them.

MovingBird123 · 21/07/2023 06:43

This sounds like paruresis. You can cause long-term damage and incontinence by consistently not emptying on time and obvious health matters by dehydrating oneself.

Fairly common in men. See Paruresis UK for help. Treatment could include CBT. It can be a really upsetting condition for sufferer. Brave of him to confess. Wishing you all the best.

Badbudgeter · 21/07/2023 06:43

Not always popular but the local high schools near me only have single self contained toilets with communal sinks for students. I think they work much better. The vapers hang out elsewhere.

ConnieTucker · 21/07/2023 06:45

Boys toilets at my school are absolutely disgusting so Im jot surprised. Thoroughly cleaned every evening. They are just so disrespectful when using them.

WandaWonder · 21/07/2023 06:46

My child wont go either

SprinkleRainbow · 21/07/2023 06:51

My high school locked toilets during lessons. Went through phases of them being locked and not locked but a teacher would supervise all sets of toilets as they had to unlock them during breaks.

LynetteScavo · 21/07/2023 06:53

I didn't ever used the toilet at Highschool- I'd suddenly be desperate once I saw my front door!

I would let the school know their toilets are so horrid your DS doesn't want to use them. Probably nothing will happen, but if every parent raised the issue something might be done.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 21/07/2023 06:55

DD 14 won't go to the toilet at school. Says they're of hive of unsociable behaviour and she's scared to go in. School have pit members of staff in the doors but she still won't go in.

stayathomer · 21/07/2023 06:59

Another whose son doesn’t use the toilets in school. He’s 13 and I said it to my 15yo and he said ‘to be fair they’re not great’. Apparently they stink and yes guys vape , hang out etc. he said when he was in first year a lot of his friends wouldn’t go in either. I don’t know why they don’t tackle this in schools, while I’m relieved it’s not only him, it’s terrible

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 21/07/2023 07:01

@Badbudgeter too bad the school wont do individual self contained toilets for each sex. How do you know the toilets work well? I wouldn't go near that type of toilet set up, and I'm sure many girls wouldn't either. Do they 'work' because no one uses them?

Badbudgeter · 21/07/2023 09:39

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn They are divided by sex. My eldest goes there and says the toilets are fine. I’m there with younger kids for swimming/ squash lessons after school twice a week and I’ve used the loos for years and they all seem to have working locks, toilet seats, extractor fans (so not stinky) and free from graffiti. which sounds better than most on this thread.

GodspeedJune · 21/07/2023 09:46

My Dsis didn’t use the school toilets all day either. I was amazed she could manage it! Agree they can be grim and a hive of antisocial behaviour. Girls used to smoke in our toilets.

Jongleterre · 21/07/2023 09:48

Mine never used a school toilet but neither did they eat or drink until they got home. No health problems.

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