Doctor pulled back foreskin and now child scared to pee

[Macmoominmamma]

Hi

I don’t know if any of you mums with sons have noticed a problem with your boy’s foreskin and can advise me?
A few months ago my 11 year old boy said his willy was pink and was uncomfortable and asked me to take a look. It was a bit pink but I noticed that his foreskin was long and after a visit to the GP he was referred to the paediatric urologist at our local hospital.

He was a bit anxious about the appointment- he’s private and doesn’t like people looking at his bits. We were called in, so there was 4 adults in total including a student doctor. The surgeon asked if it was ok for the student to sit in and my boy said no… she listened to the consultation only, and me, the surgeon and the nurse went behind the curtain while he removed his lower clothes. The surgeon at no point asked if he could retract the foreskin but he did ask to touch. I was at the bottom of the bed holding my sons feet for contact and so he could see my face. My boy said it hurt, the surgeon did something else and my boy asked him to stop. He is a polite child and was not screaming or anything like that.

We discussed a way forward and after a couple of questions, we were out. I was so pleased the plan was not immediate circumcision, but my boy was quiet, wouldn’t look at me and just said we’d talk in the car. He was in tears in the car and said he didn’t want to talk until we got home. He wouldn’t look at me, and shrugged off my hand when I comforted him.

When we got home he tried to pee but it hurt so much he was crying again. When I tried to talk to him he cried and couldn’t stop, said it was due to pain. At 420pm I made an appointment with our GP for 440pm after explaining the issue to reception, then received a call back after 5 minutes cancelling the appointment and being informed I had to go back to the surgeon. My boy was absolutely distraught at the thought of seeing that surgeon again … refused to go. I tried to call the department but my call was cut off numerous times. Presume they’d gone home.

So I have a child who can’t pee and refuses to see ANY doctor now. He’s sat in a salty bath and I’ve held his hand while he tries to pee.

Does anyone have any experience and / or advice for me? I feel so very guilty this happened right under my nose and I didn’t realise. My poor boy.

I’m guessing the appt was today? It’s not clear from your OP

Have you given him painkillers?

My DS had almost the exact same experience and I changed Paeds over it (not in UK just to be clear) I was right there so the DR could have explained etc. but he didn't. Literally just went for it and I was horrified and genuinely went ballistic. My son was only 3 and I still won't forget his face at the time (he did scream) or in the car afterwards.

It stung when he peed for about 2 days afterwards.Distracted him with treats if I'm honest.

My advice would be to give him time. DS was very wary of cleaning that bit for a good while, but once he learned how to do it himself he was fine. He hasn't forgotten it 3 years later but is very comfortable with his DR now.

In the meantime,I'd say loads of water to drink and salt baths like you're already doing x

Yes today

Yes 2 x paracetamol 4 hours apart.

Poor boy. I hope things improve for him really soon. My son would probably react in a similar way. But to be fair, it sounds like the area was already sore and the Dr does have to carry out his examination so he can make a diagnosis of the problem. Give him painkillers, reassure him and try and chase the Dr up.

Thanks so much for sharing. I’m hoping it will heal quickly, obviously but I don’t know if there’s any long term damage.

I think I’m feeling so guilty because I just didn’t realise what had happened; he didn’t react other than to say it hurt and asked the dr to stop, so I didn’t go ballistic. I just didn’t realise how much it had hurt him. I feel like I let him down and didn’t protect him enough.

OP I completely agree that the doctor should have handled this way better. They should have explained what they were going to do and that it might hurt. I’m so sorry for your DS that he had to go through this in this way.

But also I assume it’s now fixed the issue? I imagine you’ll have a rough night and DS might be a bit sore for a few days but wouldn’t it be great if that was the end of it.

I'm sorry this happened, your poor DS. The doctor did not gain informed consent from your son. Please make a complaint through PALS and ask to seen by a different doctor going forward.

For now make sure your DS is up to date with analgesia and that he is drinking plenty so his urine is dilute. Get him to a have a warm bath a pass urine in the bath. I hope this helps.

If he won't pee at all, it is an emergency that needs attention within hours.

Get him to pee in a warm bath. Better that having to have a catheter, poor lad.

Ouch! Poor love. Was there an actual diagnosis?

Just want to say sorry that’s an awful experience for your son. But if he’s diagnosed with phimosis where the foreskin won’t draw back properly, circumcision might be the only option. My son had this and it was undiagnosed til he brought it to our attention aged 14. He had day surgery with a GA, a week of school and all good. Just wanted to reassure you.

Similar happened to DS but the surgeon explained what he was doing. DS went back to school after the appointment and I got a call to pick him up as he was in pain. It eased off pretty quickly though and he was fine peeing. The surgeon prescribed hydrocortisone cream to help stretch it and it looks like he’ll avoid circumcision (just mentioning that in case it wasn’t suggested).

If he doesn't want to wee in the bath - and at his age it's probably not something he's comfortable with, get him to sit on the loo and pour warm water while he's going.

Oh thank you so much for your words of wisdom, reassurance and kindness ladies. I think a plan of fluids, paracetamol and warm baths is formulating. I’m going to call the dept tomorrow and ask to speak with surgeon to find out what he did and get his advice as how to manage it. He should have told my son what he was going to do and that it might be uncomfortable and then get consent as nursiebernard advised. If he’s an arse I will go through PALS.

Yes Snugglebuggleboo … surgeon said see what happens after puberty. Hopefully testosterone will fix it and if not, can try steroid cream before moving to circumcision as last resort.

As I was typing this, he has just come in and told me that the dr “pulled his body inside out” and that the “foreskin was halfway or 3/4 back over his penis.” I mean that feels very wrong to do that without warning.

Definitely raise with PALS that’s so traumatic.

Absolutely horrific, what a horrible twat. Please raise this with PALS. Your poor boy.

That surgeon should've explained what he was doing before he did it, and asked your permission!

Absolutely no excuse for this. I hope your son is feeling better soon.

Hang on a sec what about crap GP surgery who should've seen him?!

Is his foreskin now right over his penis where it should be ? Am asking because if it is retracted he really could have a problem with swelling.

My son had to see a urologist for the same issue recently. The consultant didn't touch DS. Instead, DS pulled his own foreskin back to see how far it would go - with the doctor's encouragement. As soon as DS expressed discomfort, the doctor said he could stop.

This seems a much kinder and more respectful way of dealing with this. I'm so sorry your son went through that. I hope he feels better soon. Sounds like you're doing everything possible to make him more comfortable.

If he hasn't passed urine in 8 hours have a feel of his lower stomach, if it feels hard like his bladder is full you need to go to ED as soon as possible.

Can he try and wee in the warm water, it will reduce the sting ?

How is he doing today OP?

make sure he keeps pulling it back, even if it's sore. it's probably raw and you don't want it to reattach and heal that way. Mine were late to retract, but they all did around puberty. I encouraged them to regularly pull it back as far as it would go and "stretch it" and they were able to get it to fully retract on their own eventually.

this is how it should have been handled with encouragement to keep pulling it back as far as they can. Discomfort, not pain, is the goal.