What to do with poor DD - at my wits end

[Lookthereisarobin]

Sorry, this might be a long one but I really need some advice from others who may have been there.

DD is 12, female, has had her period for about a year (in case that is relevant). About 1.5 months ago she started to feel really sick at breakfast time, couldn't eat any breakfast before school, but seemed fine with other meals. This progressed onto dinner times as well, with a couple of instances of her being sick aftet eating her dinner. But now, she gets halfway through her dinner and feels too sick to eat any more of it.We have been to the Dr, who did a full blood count (normal) and who prescribed omeprazole saying that it could have been a bug which has lingered and inflamed the stomach lining. He also weighed DD and asked us to go back in 2 weeks. There was a slight improvement, we went back in 2 weeks and DD had lost a small amount of weight. Dr decided to give it 3 more weeks and see how DD was doing, so we are on that stretch now.

However, DD is still struggling. At dinner tonight (roast, one of her favourite meals), she got halfway through and couldn't finish as she felt too sick.Lunchtimes, she can eat no problem. If I gave her something mid morning or mid afternoon, no problem.I really don't think it's an eating disorder as she isn't worried about her weight and will put away sweets and crisps during movie nights with her friends like there's no tomorrow.She is a bit of an anxious child, she has a lot of drama in her friendship group at school which I know gets to her. We've talked about MH and she is very open, knows she can talk to me and has confided in the past when feeling low.

So my question is, has anyone else been through similar?? Is it anxiety? Is it something that I need to push with the Dr for more tests? I really don't know, I just want her to be able to eat normally the poor thing.

Any help/advice would be hugely appreciated

Could possibly be a food allergy or intolerance. Is there any likely culprit? Do you notice any difference if the meal is different to usual.

Anxiety can cause nausea. It can be habitual too. I used to wake up with an awful sick feeling that would gradually improve over the morning. Your dd maybe sub consciously associates this time of day with feeling anxious/sick?

Thank you for replying, I have thought about intolerances but we just can't pin it down to anything as it happens with all sorts of food, there doesn't seem to be a common denominator, if you see what I mean. But I may ask the Dr about allergy tests.

When I first read this I thought it may have something to do with anxiety ? Are you sure it's not that because she's been feeling sick mealtimes are probably very nerve wracking and anxiety ridden for her? I suffer very badly with anxiety and when I'm anxious I can not eat at all. I completely lose my appetite

Does she suffer from this all the time or is it better/worse at particular times of the month?

@honeybee43 thank you for sharing your experience, that is a good point. Can I ask how you dealt with it? Obviously you don't have to share if you're not comfortable

@GlassDeli it is all the time. There was a slight improvement when she started the omeprazole but I wonder if that was psychological, a bit of a placebo effect?

Allergies are usually protein related so could be anything from eggs to dairy to nuts to seeds. Can be very difficult to pin down. No harm in doing a skin prick test and blood test. Might point to something.

My eldest is highly allergic (anaphylaxis reaction) to some foods but he can have a lesser response to other foods which is similar to your DD e.g. vomiting, sickness and diarrhea.

@Spacebears yes I did wonder about anxiety, however she is fine at the start of the meal and is happy/excited to eat, especially if it's a meal she likes. It's when she's halfway through she struggles. Maybe that's the trigger point 🤔

@Jewel1968 definitely worth an allergy test then, I will ask the Dr. Thank you 😊

Sounds psychological. What was going on when it started?

I'm not sure that I ever did deal with it. I still suffer badly from anxiety but the sickness/nausea isn't a constant symptom like the others. That one tends to come and go. Lucky me! I'm sorry I don't have any advice on how to overcome it as I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
Has your dd ever addressed her anxiety? It may not even be that, I just know from experience that anxiety literally can turn your stomach and totally make you lose your appetite. It can also be associative. So I can be feeling ok and then I might drive past a place where I've had a panic attack or something before and suddenly it flares up again. If your dd has felt anxious at mealtimes before then maybe it's subconsciously triggering her anxious feelings at this time?
That's the reasoning but the solution still evades me I'm afraid :-(

As a practical step, do you think serving a small dinner portion, so she can eat the whole thing without feeling sick, would help?

You can get sort of 2/3 size dinner plates and it might reduce the anxiety around that meal and she can always have seconds if she's still feeling okay?

Then if she is just eating that small plate, you could add "supper" of a slice of toast or a Horlicks or something before bed to top her up by another couple of hundred calories.

Similarly if she can't eat anything in the morning, you could plan a decent breakfast/snack for school break. Overnight oats or similar might be reasonably transportable, or yoghurt and meusli?

Poor thing - and poor you. Treading carefully here but maybe it's worth thinking about the possibility of an emerging eating disorder linked to her anxiety?

Maybe talking to BEAT eating disorders might be helpful - they're experts, have helplines and can help you talk through the issues from an informed perspective. Really not wanting to be alarmist but we know when things are out of control with teenagers, controlling eating is something they do experiment with?

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/

@honeybee43 i am so sorry to hear you are still struggling. Sending hugs. I really hope you can find some relief. Thank you for sharing your experience

Just to note that allergy tests won't show up non-ige allergies. It sounds psychological. Have you tried playing a game over dinner? Like a 'would you rather' or card game?

@Geppili nothing really, nothing unusual, no major life changes or anything at school. Although of course, it could be something she hasn't told me

@Augend23 that's a good idea, thank you. It might make her feel better if she can finish. I will give that a go.

You can buy a test online for food intolerances, they require few hairs and the results are pretty fast , they’re under £30. Also try to give her one probiotic a day or a tablet for helico pilory , natural ones, it helps a lot. Is not psychological is her stomach, I have the same problems with my child for years , omeprazole, ranitidine the lot in the end is food intolerance

@MrsOvertonsWindow thank you for that link, i will certainly look into it. I don't want to rule anything out. If it is an eating disorder I would rather get her the support she needs asap, before it gets worse.

@Beanbagtrap we tend to play Pointless on the Alexa over dinner, but it doesn't take long, so it might be worth another distraction - thank you

Have a look at gastroparesis gutscharity.org.uk/advice-and-information/conditions/gastroparesis/
Not all GP's understand or know what they can do to help. Anti-emetics can help if it is mild.

if this sick feeling / anxiety is preventing her getting enough calories to grow, would she have those calorie-rich milkshakes that people get in hospital? just so she doesn't lose weight.

Lots of good advice here with avenues to explore with gp. In the meantime could you encourage her to eat more earlier in the day if it is mainly dinner time that is the problem?

I had similar to this when I was younger. I was extremely nauseated around the time of my period for about a year after it started. I was also very anxious and hated being sick so I think the worry that I’d be feeling sick again soon made me feel more anxious, which made me feel nauseated all the time. I can’t remember what changed but I did grow out of it.

Have you tried any probiotics? I think a lot of them improve nausea in stomach bugs as well as improving the gut health so maybe if it was any lingering effects from a stomach bug then it might improve her symptoms.